BPD in OKC: Cutting video

Mature audiences only

You have no doubt seen or heard the commercials: "Where does depression hurt? EVERYWHERE. Who does depression hurt? EVERYONE." Mental illnesses can consume you, take over your entire life and hurt everyone around you if you let it. I am no exception.

My life feels like I am stuck riding on a rollercoaster in the middle of a hurricane. I have ups and downs, and I have left a path of destruction in my wake. My sanity dangles on a tiny fragile string, and through this blog I am giving the world a look into my broken mind and my unstable life.

In the end, I am just a girl trying to maintain my sanity in a candy-coated world of misery. Here you'll get a glimpse at just how true those commercials are. Keep your arms and legs inside the blog at all times, hold on tight, and prepare yourself for a very bumpy ride ...

Feel free to comment here on the blog or email me at bpdokc@yahoo.com.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Cutting video

The last few weeks have been really hard. I haven't wanted to talk on here about it. Well I haven't wanted to talk about it period. Three things have happened that have given me a little set-back, but I know I'll be able to deal and get over it. I will talk about it all when I feel up to it.

Today has been especially difficult and the thoughts of cutting have crossed my mind a few times, but I know I can't do it, I won't do it. I've come too far to let myself break down like that.

Tonight one of my friends on myspace posted a bulletin with the following music video. Her rapper boyfriend created the song/video. It does a really good job explaining self-harm. Check out her myspace page here and watch the video below (WARNING IT COULD BE TRIGGERING)

8 comments:

Wandering Coyote said...: I've had a lot of suicidal ideation lately. Not sure what's up with that, but I hear you.; Tue Mar 17, 11:20:00 PM CDT
tinkerbell the bipolar faery said...: I have just emerged from the pits of hell, where I thought about death and self harm alot. I hear you. A good friend of mine hung himself two months ago ... and so now the other side of suicide and self harm is in my face, so to speak.; Wed Mar 18, 12:05:00 AM CDT
tracy said...: Hey Jennifer,
i'm really sorry you have been having such a hard time of it lately. i wish you could write about it here, but totally understand your reasons. i hope things get better really soon.
As i hinted before, i landed myself inpatient for a week, just got out one week ago. (cutting and OD). Now things at home are even worse. Bleh.
Sorry to ramble.
Thanks for a great blog and a great video.
hugs,
tracy

So very sorry Tinkerbell...i had a similar experience. It hurts sooo much.
be well,
tracy; Wed Mar 18, 08:08:00 AM CDT
Skinny Lady said...: Hang in there! You're doing good to stay strong against your impulses, which I know can be overwhelming at times...; Wed Mar 18, 10:47:00 AM CDT
ReRe said...: i'm in a funk too. life is hard.
hope it gets better for us both. and i'm sure it will; Wed Mar 18, 11:01:00 PM CDT
A'Jay said...: Bugger, the one night my computers in safe mode with no sound.. will drop by 2moz and listen.

Im in a similar place to yourself... I have circumstances that are causing a great shift in my world. My problem is I cant write about it as my Management monitors my blog (till next week)

I like you (I think) use my blog to process things so it will be good when Im free of them..lol

and on the self harm, hang in there love..I am :); Thu Mar 19, 06:24:00 AM CDT
A'Jay said...: I work with teens, we produce music/vids . . . that was really well done.. can he get someone to produce that?

If its okk with you I will do a post on the song...x; Fri Mar 20, 07:03:00 AM CDT
BPD in OKC said...: A'Jay, It's perfectly fine with me if you do a post on it.; Fri Mar 20, 10:21:00 AM CDT