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OnePlusYou Quizzes and Widgets

You have no doubt seen or heard the commercials: "Where does depression hurt? EVERYWHERE. Who does depression hurt? EVERYONE." Mental illnesses can consume you, take over your entire life and hurt everyone around you if you let it. I am no exception.

My life feels like I am stuck riding on a rollercoaster in the middle of a hurricane. I have ups and downs, and I have left a path of destruction in my wake. My sanity dangles on a tiny fragile string, and through this blog I am giving the world a look into my broken mind and my unstable life.

In the end, I am just a girl trying to maintain my sanity in a candy-coated world of misery. Here you'll get a glimpse at just how true those commercials are. Keep your arms and legs inside the blog at all times, hold on tight, and prepare yourself for a very bumpy ride ...

Feel free to comment here on the blog or email me at bpdokc@yahoo.com.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

A message to my abusive father

Today I made the most emotional and revealing photo collage that I've ever done. It visually shows how the abuse from my father throughout my childhood/teen years has affected me. It shows the depression and self-harm that have stemmed from the pain I still feel because of the abuse. I did the collage as if I would show it to my father, so it's directed directly to him, but of course, he'll never see it.

I've included a full-size version of the collage and a smaller version that may be easier to view in your internet browser (click the thumbnails to see the larger images), but
if you're someone who's triggered by images of self-harm, PLEASE DON'T look at it. I don't want my art to trigger anyone. I don't want to cause anyone any pain.

The full-size:


Smaller size:



4 comments:

Jodi said...

I can understand you pain. I hope this allowed you to release some of your agony and frustration having to deal with the emotions and regret and shit you have had to deal with. I know this had to be hard, but I also know it had to make you feel better to know you can confront your past. Good strong work woman! *BIG STRONG HUG*

entsala said...

it grieves my heart that some parents don't know, don't wanna know and/or don't care about the pain they cause their children. i am so very sorry that you were hurt and still dealing with what that asshole did to you. i'm thankful that you have perservered and SURVIVED and i am glad that this is cathartic for you. much love for all the good hard work. angelia

Lily Strange said...

Very hard hitting. Interestingly, I'm not triggered to S.I. by images of it. The triggers are situational.

serialinsomniac said...

Obviously it would be ridiculous to say I LIKED your collage, cos I wouldn't wish such pain on anyone, but I think it is a really good graphical representation of the effects abuse can have. I applaud you; in the face of such hideous adverse circumstances, you have fought on and have clearly come a long way and achieved much in your life. For what it's worth, I love your blog.

Big hugs to you.

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