Mature audiences only

OnePlusYou Quizzes and Widgets

You have no doubt seen or heard the commercials: "Where does depression hurt? EVERYWHERE. Who does depression hurt? EVERYONE." Mental illnesses can consume you, take over your entire life and hurt everyone around you if you let it. I am no exception.

My life feels like I am stuck riding on a rollercoaster in the middle of a hurricane. I have ups and downs, and I have left a path of destruction in my wake. My sanity dangles on a tiny fragile string, and through this blog I am giving the world a look into my broken mind and my unstable life.

In the end, I am just a girl trying to maintain my sanity in a candy-coated world of misery. Here you'll get a glimpse at just how true those commercials are. Keep your arms and legs inside the blog at all times, hold on tight, and prepare yourself for a very bumpy ride ...

Feel free to comment here on the blog or email me at bpdokc@yahoo.com.

Friday, July 31, 2009

Do Pink's songs describe me?

Someone tagged me in this "song survey" on Facebook. I originally did it using Mandy Moore songs, but I got thinking that Pink's music would fit me much better, so I thought I'd try it. I think it fits my current life (and bipolar/borderline) almost perfectly.


"Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Try not to repeat a song title. It's harder than you think."

Pick Your Artist: Pink

Are you male or female: "Lonely Girl"

Describe yourself: "I'm Not Dead"

How do you feel about yourself: "Split Personality"

How others describe you: "Feel Good Time"

Describe your current boy/girl situation: "Fingers"

Your thoughts of the opposite sex: "You Make Me Sick"

Describe where you currently live: "Funhouse"

If you could go anywhere you wanted to go: "Gone to California"

Your favorite form of transportation: "18 Wheeler"

Your best friend(s) is(are): "Stupid Girls"

Your family is: "Just Like A Pill"

Your favorite color is: "Nobody Knows"

Favorite time of day: "Tonight's the Night"

If your life were a TV show, what would it be called: "Please Don't Leave Me"

What is life to you: "Misery"

What is the best advice you have to give: "Don't Let Me Get Me"

Thought for the Day: "Love Is Such a Crazy Thing"

How you would like to die: "Eventually"

Your soul's present condition: "Numb"

Your biggest regret: "The One That Got Away"

Your thoughts on religion: "God is a DJ"

Your current addictions: "Sober"


Study: Doctors Don't Always Spot Depression

depression

By TIME

Although the stigma once associated with mental illness has receded in recent years, most of the 12 million Americans who have clinical depression still don't get treated for it, partly because many are too embarrassed to go to a psychologist. In fact, according to mental-health professionals, the majority of depressed people who seek professional help turn first not to a psychologist but to their primary-care physician.

But do regular doctors really know how to identify depression? A large new scientific review published July 30 by the journal Lancet suggests they don't. In a review of 41 previous studies involving more than 50,000 patients in developed nations around the world, the authors found that general practitioners make frequent mistakes, missing true cases of depression about half the time and incorrectly diagnosing it in 19% of healthy people.

Alex Mitchell, Amol Vaze and Sanjay Rao of Leicester General Hospital in the U.K. estimate that about 1 in 5 people in developed nations will experience depression in their lifetime. That means that among a general patient population of 100, about 20 will develop the condition, but the typical doctor will find it in only 10 of those who have it. And among the 80 healthy people, the doctor will incorrectly identify depression in 15.

This is significant because depression - especially if it goes untreated - can be debilitating for the patient and his or her family. Depression also carries an enormous societal burden, leading to missed work days, loss of productivity and increases in health-care spending for co-occurring conditions like sleep problems or anxiety. Further, those misdiagnosed with depression may end up being prescribed antidepressant medications that not only cost a lot but can have serious side effects, including lethargy and sexual dysfunction.

The various studies that Mitchell, Vaze and Rao reviewed used different methods to verify whether doctors had missed depression in their patients. In some of the studies, researchers went back over case records and picked out patients who appeared to have the illness. In other studies, researchers interviewed patients and made diagnoses in person. But virtually all the studies pointed to the same conclusion: general physicians aren't very good at recognizing the most common mental illness in the world.

Why? One reason is that the typical doctor visit - even in wealthy nations - is quite short, usually no longer than 15 minutes. It's hard for patients, who may already be reluctant to discuss depression, to open up about their symptoms during that brief period. The authors of the paper suggest that doctors should spend more time or schedule follow-up appointments with patients they suspect have depression; research has shown that such follow-ups can dramatically increase the rate of accurate diagnoses.

That's surely a worthy goal, although, at least in the U.S., it offers a classic example of the incentive problems in the current health-care system: if general practitioners spend extra time with each patient trying to diagnose psychiatric problems, they will see fewer patients in a day, which means fewer reimbursements overall from the insurance companies. So is there another way?

Maybe. One method might be to write diagnostic criteria for depression that are sharper than the loose catalog of symptoms used today. The current Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, published by the American Psychiatric Association (APA), lists such vague symptoms as "fatigue" and "indecisiveness" as possible markers of depression. And while the definition must be broad enough to encompass a disease that manifests in many different ways in many different patients, even mental-health specialists hotly debate what constitutes true depression. A commentary in the Lancet accompanying the new paper asks, "If the diagnosis of depression cannot be agreed satisfactorily by the best minds in psychiatry, why should we expect the general practitioner to be a reliable assessor of the condition?"

A large contingent of APA specialists is currently rewriting the diagnostic manual, but the revision won't be out until at least 2012. In the meantime, most people will probably continue to use their general physician for front-line psychiatric care. That may be preferable to not seeking care at all, but for high-risk patients - such as those who have a family history of depression, recent stressful life events, chronic illness or substance abuse - it would be wiser to seek specialized attention.


Thursday, July 30, 2009

Men are often silent victims of domestic violence

By divorce360.com


On July 4, former NFL star Steve McNair was shot dead by a girlfriend. McNair, 36, a married man, was shot four times in his sleep on the Fourth of July by a girlfriend that was 16 years his junior. The girlfiend, Sahel Kazemi, then killed herself. According to the police, Kazemi was upset about financial problems and believed that McNair was seeing someone else.

According to the Department of Justice report on the National Violence Against Women Survey, nearly 900,000 men are victims of physical violence by a domestic partner. That roughly translates to a man being beaten every 38 seconds. The government counts both heterosexual and homosexual male victims of abuse in the study.

In general, the gender breakdown of callers to the National Domestic Violence Hotline (NDVH) is 85 percent women to 15 percent men. From 2003 to present, male victims calling the hotline represent a mere 2.41 percent of all calls. Even so, NDVH have recorded calls for help from 19,046 men in that five-year period.

“Many male victims/survivors do not report or discuss the abuse against them,” says Emily Toothman, a spokesperson for the NDVH. “In light of this, these numbers should not be used as an extensive study of male domestic violence victims in our country. However, I hope these numbers offer some insight into this relatively unidentified population.”

Of the men living with abusive women, most do not report incidents of abuse to police unless the injury is significant enough to result in emergency medical care. The primary reason for non-reporting is shame. Because of this trend, scientific studies by a number of renowned universities and social agencies, and governmental departments such as the Department of Justice, uncover a better picture of this victim group than police and court records.

Studies show that men are more likely to be hit with an object or stabbed while women are more likely to be hit with a fist, kicked or shot. While abused men remain in the relationship for many reasons, the top three reasons, according to the Department of Justice report are:

1. Protecting their children.

Fearing the courts will automatically give custody to the mother, the father worries that his children will be abused if they leave the family home.

2. Assuming blame.

In this situation, men buy into the woman's reasons for delivering abuse rather than recognizing the abuse is unreasonable. This trait is common among both women and men.

3. Dependency.

The man is dependent on the woman for financial, social, or emotional support and fears the loss of such if he leaves the relationship. This trait, too, is shared between women and men suffering abuse.

“The good news is that organizations like the NDVH help both men and women. We can even direct men to support groups and help lines in their own communities,” says Patty Perez, spokesperson for the National Domestic Violence Hotline.

The toll free number for the National Domestic Violence Hotline (NDVH) is 1-800-799-SAFE (7233), and the web site address for more information is http://www.ndvh.org/.



A Bunch Of Stupid Questions


Welcome to the July 30th version of Thursday Thunks!
(which we always seem to post on Wednesday)
Where we make you think a little bit before you blog!
This week we will answer some crazy questions brought to you by
Kimber, the number 14 and the color of life. (2 questions by Ber, figure out which 2.)


1. You are in an enclosed space with a group of friends. Elevator, auto, small room, etc.. You fart and it really stinks. Do you take credit for it or do you play along with the questioning of who did it?
Sadly, I'd probably just start laughing at how stinky it was and I'd give myself away

On that topic, LOL ... On Wednesday my mom, brother and I were in a toy store and I had horrible gas after eating a whole plate of chili cheese fries for lunch. I went three aisles down from where they were and let a little fart out. Then I walked back to where they were. The smell was so bad that it followed me. I didn't tell them that I did it, and suddenly my mom smelled it and said "Dear God, which of you did that?" I started cracking up and said that I thought I was far enough away when I did it that they wouldn't be able to smell it. I wonder how many other people had to smell it

Once again, there I go with my T.M.I. confessions... haha


2. You are locked in a room sitting at a desk with just a piece of paper and a purple crayon. What do you draw?
Hearts

3. Do you ever pee in the shower?
I have a long time in the past, when I was a kid... and there were a few nights about 4 years ago, but you guys don't want to hear about that...

4. Have you bought, sold or got rid of something on Craigslist?
No... Craigslist is evil

5. You are in a convenience store. In the line in front of you is a drunk guy trying to purchase more alcohol. The cashier tells him they cannot sell it to him because he is obviously already intoxicated. He gets belligerent. The cashier is scared. What do you do?
Stand there and try not laugh

6. While shopping for produce, do you "sample" before you buy (i.e. grapes)?
Produce? What's produce? ... I am a meat eater .... anyways I'd never sample things like that

7. You are walking down the street and there is a toddler sitting on a bench by themselves in front of a store - do you just keep walking?
Depends on what side of the city I'm on. If it was the northside, I probably would ask the kid where his parents are... If it was the southside, I'd quietly keep walking. If I talked to the kid, some mad momma might pull out a gun and shoot me

8. Have you looked up an old friend and/or lover online?
All the time. What do you think I was doing before filling this out?

9. You are nearly in a car/auto accident. Do you freak out, follow the person who nearly caused it & talk to them or just keep going?
Driving on the interstates I almost get into accidents several times a day. I am used to it. I just keep going


Tuesday, July 28, 2009

What the crock???



The Cooking Meme (What Is The Meaning of Thyme and Other Deep Questions)

1. If you could put thyme in a bottle, what is the first thing that you'd like to do?
I'd give it back to whomever I got it from. I don't like thyme... Now if we're going for the "time in a bottle" metaphor, I'd use my bottled time to travel back to November 8, 2003, and not go meet my now exhusband

2. Do eggs really crack or do they merely have a nervous breakdown?
If they're anything like me, they crack up and then have complete mental breakdowns

3. Why are you whipping the butter? What did it ever do to you?
It made my ass fat ... well that and the donuts and the tacos and the soda and all the other bad things i eat/drink

4. Do your spoons spoon in the drawer? Have you ever noticed? And more importantly, if wooden spoons spoon do they get splinters?
My spoons normally don't make it out of the dishwasher into the drawer. I run the dishwasher and then just pull the dishes out of there as I need them until they're all dirty again and have to run it again. (I'm lazy)... Now to answer the question for real, whenever they do make it into the drawer, most of the time they're all scattered together, so there's spoons and forks together, and you know what that means....


BTW, that wasn't a splinter that got poked somewhere....

5. You hear: "Dumpling, my Dumpling, come hither." The candles are lit, the fondue is dipping, the Godiva is pouring, the scallions are steaming and the music is playing.....but wait, the windows are open. Why did you close them?
Well if you ever heard how loud I am in bed, you'd understand why I shut them....

6. Do you need a recipe to cook or are you a bohemian chef? Show us your reckless and wild side in the kitchen. Don't have one? Here's a recipe I made just for you: You will need a spatula, a whisk, a gallon of Chardonnay, a banana and a rump roast. What is the name of your dish?
I don't use recipes ever. I just throw stuff in a pot together and hope it turns out ok, so basically every dish I ever make would be named "Pot O Random Crap"

7. After dinner, the dishes are so dirty that the dishwasher refuses to wash them. What did they say to get in hot water?
The dishwasher just didn't like that they were covered in doggie drool because Oreo licked them clean after I was done eating

8. Is your pot black?
Only when I eat Oreos and it turns my poop black and I stain the inside of the pot. That sure was a T.M.I. revelation there...

9. What is the sexiest spice or condiment in your cabinet? What makes it so?
Italian seasoning ... Italians are always sexy

10. How much crock is really in your crock pot?
I'm so full of crock that it's overflowing and effected all the people around me

One final note... darn you Queen for making me think really hard this late at night...



Monday, July 27, 2009

threesomes and bad habits


1. Your mate or spouse or the person you have known on a personal level for quite a while, comes to you and suggests that things need to be spiced up and suggests a threesome. what is your reaction?
I'd say, "I've been waiting for you to suggest that." Then I'd ask if he was thinking another girl or a guy. Then I'd say I'd have to pick out the other person because I'm too picky to let him choose

2. you are doing the shopping at the grocery store and there is one bad habit you wish your mate would give up and it's on your list to buy. Do you conveniently forget the item or go ahead and feed their habit?
who is this mate you keep asking about? LOL ...

3. Your spouse/mate/date is driving and you are feeling seriously scared about the speed the they are traveling. You have already complained twice about their driving skills. Do you demand they slow down? or bite your lip? Will they call you a backseat driver and will an argument more than likely breakout?
Argument always breaks out.... that's why I always try to be the one driving

4. Your neighbors put their dogs out at 630 AM everyday and they bark non stop and wake you up. How do you handle the problem?
I'm the neighbor with the dogs that bark at all times ... damn Oreo

5. Tell us about something that you can do that more than likely not a lot of other people can do.
Make a sexual reference out of anything

6. Do you still have any of your childhood toys that might be worth some money?
Nope, sold them all in garage sales to pay for food

7. what is/was your all time favorite Beatles Song??
I can't think of a single Beatles song that I can even stand

8. If you felt motivated to really tighten up the house hold budget, what item would you need to give up to save money?
Caffeine, but I'd rather do away with anything else than my 6+ daily bottles of Dr Pepper


Sunday, July 26, 2009

Scientists try to stop schizophrenia in its tracks

By The Associated Press

PORTLAND, Maine — She was sociable and happy in high school. But in college that changed abruptly: Depressed and withdrawn, some days she couldn't get out of bed.

And that wasn't all.

“I had really odd thoughts,” recalled the woman, now 21, who asked that her name not be used. While walking across campus at the University of Southern Maine, “sometimes I'd feel like people were just right behind me (who might) jump me or something.”

She knew it wasn't true, but she couldn't shake the feeling.

Sometimes, while driving, she saw imaginary, shadowy people on the sidewalk. And now and then, out of nowhere, there would be a woman's voice in her ear during class, or random soft noises like knocking or the fizzy hiss of a newly opened soda can.

When she visited the university health service and talked about feeling depressed, a nurse practitioner saw another problem: a possible case of schizophrenia in the making.

This schizophrenia “prodrome” — the early signs — involves a troubled mental state usually found in teens and young adults. It can lead to psychosis, the loss of touch with reality that marks not only schizophrenia, but also some forms of depression or manic-depression. The prodrome can linger for weeks, or years, before it gives way to psychosis — or mysteriously disappears without a trace.

Researchers have known about this warning phase for decades, but they're still working on how to treat it. Now they're calling in tools like brain scans, DNA studies and hormone research to dig into its biology. They hope that will reveal new ways to detect who's on the road to psychosis and to stop that progression.

In the prodrome, people can see and hear imaginary things or have odd thoughts. But significantly, they understand these experiences are just illusions, or they have a reasonable explanation.

In contrast, people with psychosis firmly cling to unreasonable explanations instead. When someone interprets an odd halo of light over a bedroom doorway as an urgent message from a dead relative, “that's when they have gone over to the psychotic side,” said Dr. Thomas McGlashan, a Yale University psychiatry professor.

Some early signs of the prodrome are subtle. “Sometimes kids will (say) light seems different,” and windows are too bright, said Ann Lovegren Conley, the family nurse practitioner at USM who spotted apparent prodromal symptoms in the student on her campus.

That can signal “this is not just typical depression or situational stress,” Conley said. “There's something more here.”

After hearing the student's story, Conley put her in touch with the Portland Identification and Early Referral program, called PIER, one of about 20 clinics in the United States that focus on treating prodrome cases. PIER has trained her and thousands of other school nurses and counselors, pediatricians and others in greater Portland in how to spot them.

PIER emphasizes non-drug therapies for its patients, ages 12 to 25, although about three-quarters of them take anti-psychotic medication.

The treatment regimen includes group meetings in which patients and families brainstorm about handling the condition's day-to-day stresses. It also focuses on keeping patients in school and in touch with their families and social networks.

With a grant from the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation, the PIER approach is also being tried in California, Oregon, Michigan and New York.

Even before treatment begins, a patient's encounter with someone who understands can be dramatic. McGlashan recalled that one young woman at the Yale clinic burst into tears when being asked about symptoms, explaining, “I thought I was the only person in the world who was having these experiences.”

Or, when asked if they've felt like the television was speaking to them personally, young clients may reply, “How did you know?” McGlashan said.

Studying the schizophrenia prodrome has been tough for the small but growing group of researchers in the area, because the condition is relatively uncommon. A typical community may get only one new case per 10,000 people each year, and only a fraction of those people would end up in a research study.

A federally funded project kicked into gear this year to uncover biological signals that will help identify people headed toward psychosis. There's already early evidence, for example, that combining brain scans with a standardized interview can greatly help, said Tyrone Cannon of the University of California, Los Angeles.

Such research should also point the way to better treatments, by exposing the biological roots of psychosis, Cannon said. He's the principal investigator of the project, which is being carried out at several medical centers.

When it comes to treating the prodrome, scientists say they have some promising approaches but no firmly proven treatments to prevent psychosis from appearing.

Low doses of anti-psychotic drugs dampen symptoms. But it's not clear whether those drugs can actually prevent psychosis. Side effects like serious weight gain are a problem, especially since many treated patients would never have developed psychosis anyway. What's more, the weight gain can turn young people away from anti-psychotic drugs, even if they move on to become psychotic and clearly need them.

Researchers are finding promise in psychosocial treatments, like those aimed at helping patients learn to manage stresses in their lives or understand and interpret their symptoms. Efforts to help young people complete their education, hold a job and stay connected to peers will help them avoid unemployment and social isolation later on, whether they progress to psychosis or not, experts say.

In fact, keeping up social contacts may help manage the prodrome. “We're convinced that if they start closeting themselves, coming home after school and just spending time in their bedroom, that will accelerate any process toward psychosis,” McGlashan said. “If you dim your social life, it makes it easier for your brain to hallucinate and develop strange ideas.”

The PIER program, which began eight years ago, hasn't yet published detailed results on its effectiveness. Its goal is to cut the rate of hospitalizations for first episodes of psychosis in Portland. Dr. William McFarlane, who directs it, says early analyses of the results look promising but that it's too early to draw conclusions.

And results from other locations trying the PIER approach won't be available for a couple of years, says Jane Lowe of the sponsoring Johnson foundation.

Still, in Portland, McFarlane said, “we see kids getting better every day.”

One of them was the college student Conley referred. With the help of individual counseling, antidepressants and an anti-schizophrenia drug, “gradually I opened up to people,” the young woman said.

She started playing tennis, joined a sorority and began exercising in the school gym. She wasn't sad all the time any more. And she stopped hearing and seeing things that weren't there.

———

On the Net:

PIER and similar programs: www.preventmentalillness.org



Leave it to meme



Sunday Stealing: The "Leave It to Meme" Meme

1. Who was your FIRST date?
Depends on how you look at it. I went on a so-called date with Rick when I was 16, but my best friend went with us, so it wasn't really a date in my opinion. Same thing with the next time I supposedly had a date... After those two "dates," I decided the idea of dating was stupid and didn't ever go on another one. I just "hooked up" when I wanted to without going out. The way I look at it, I've never had a "real" date. Sure I've had boyfriends whom I've went out to eat or to a movie with, but I really think that once you're in a relationship, you're past "dating"

2. Do you still talk to your FIRST love?
I was talking to him for a while, but we haven't talked in several months

3. What was your FIRST alcoholic drink?
Yucky beer. Took a few drinks and poured the rest onto the ground.

4. What was your FIRST job?
Personal assistant to a teacher at my high school

5. What was your FIRST car?
Blue four-door chevy cavalier named Sarah

6. Where did you go on your FIRST ride on an airplane?
Never been on a plane. I went on a helicopter once, but I can't really remember it

7. Who was your FIRST best friend & do you still talk?
Roxy, we have a little contact through Facebook now, but not much really

8. Whose wedding did you attend the FIRST time?
Hell if I know

9. Tell us about your FIRST roommate.
She was a major slob. My side of the dorm room would always be nicely organized and hers would be a huge mess. I have all sorts of pictures I took comparing my side to hers (she wasn't there when I took the photos). When we lived together she was a nice Christian girl who had never drank or had sex. Within a year of me moving out, she had become a very heavy drinker, quit going to church, and had become a stripper. My mom is always saying she doesn't know how the girl could make it as a stripper because she's totally flat-chested. She used to wear padded/push up bras and still looked totally flat

10. If you had one wish, what would it be (other than more wishes)?
To have enough money to pay off all my debts and my family's debts and then never have to work again

11. What is something you would learn if you had the chance?
Make/decorate wedding cakes

12. Did you marry the FIRST person you were in love with?
Nope. Frankly, I never really loved my exhusband. It was a marriage of convenience and deceit

13. What were the first lessons you ever took and why?
Like piano lessons or something??? I guess if that's what it's asking then it would be swim lessons

14. What is the first thing you do when you get home?
Let the dogs out of their crates. They get mad if I do anything else before letting them out

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Stress, Bad Bedtime Habits Cause Insomnia

NOTE from Jennifer -- This is another no-brainer to me, but as always I wanted to share


By HealthDay News

Bad bedtime habits can keep you up at night and cause problems during the day, says the head of a Texas sleep study facility.

Stress, worry, caffeine, alcohol and watching TV in bed -- factors known as "poor sleep hygiene" -- are the major reasons why people can't shut down their bodies when it's time for sleep, explained Dr. Sunil Mathews, medical director of the Sleep Center at Baylor Medical Center at Irving, Texas. Poor sleep hygiene can also lead to taking sleep-aid medications that could interfere with alertness the next day, he said.

A recent National Sleep Foundation poll found that 47 percent of people with sleep problems were likely to use caffeinated beverages to compensate for their daytime sleepiness, but these stimulants contribute to more difficulties sleeping.

"Insomnia can turn into a vicious cycle," he said in a news release from the medical center.

To develop good sleep hygiene, Mathews recommends the following:

  • Develop a calming bedtime routine. Relax body and mind through yoga, biofeedback and meditation, or take a cup of warm milk with nutmeg.
  • Avoid workouts within four hours of bedtime. While regular exercise relieves stress, it also raises core body temperature, which can make falling asleep more difficult.
  • Avoid caffeine, alcohol or sugary items within eight hours of bedtime.
  • Keep your bedroom dark, cool, quiet and comfortable.
  • Maintain a regular sleep schedule, even on weekends.
  • Use your bedroom for sleep only. Find someplace else to watch TV, plan your day or fret so that your mind associates the room only with sleep.


fast car


Saturday 9: Fast Car

1. What’s the furthest trip you’ve taken by automobile?
From Northwest Oklahoma to New Mexico

2. What’s the worst pick up line you've ever received?
"Are you guys into some freaky stuff?" My best friend and I got asked that by an old man at a porn theater in Wichita, Kansas

3. What’s the best pick up line you’ve gotten?
Frankly I think all pick up lines are bad, so I don't have an answer for that

4. What was the last gift that you received?
An "I have issues" pin from my best friend. Guess she thinks I should walk around advertising that I have problems

5. What was the last gift that you gave someone?
Gave that same friend a book of personality tests, a "naughty party games" kit and a romantic evening kit for her birthday last month

6. Tell us about the last time you cried.
I'm not sure when it was. I almost always feel like crying, but I hate doing it, so I try to hold back the tears as long as humanly possible

7. Tell us about the last time you laughed uncontrollably.
Monday night while I was working, I had forgotten to shut off the ringer on my cell phone. The volume was turned all the way up and the phone was sitting right beside me. It started ringing when everyone in the office was quiet, and I about fell out of my chair from terror when it started ringing. Everyone stopped what they were doing to look at me. After my heart rate slowed down, I started laughing at how high I jumped and couldn't stop laughing for quite a while

8. Do you suffer road rage? What are your thoughts on it?
No. I find solace in driving, at least most of the time, so I'm pretty calm the majority of the time while I'm behind the wheel. People who have really bad road rage should go through some anger management counseling

9. What’s one of your favorite movie quotes?
"God forbid I exude confidence and enjoy sex! Do you think I relish the fact that I have to act like Mary Sunshine 24/7 so I can be considered a lady? I'm the Marcia-fucking-Brady of the Upper East Side, and sometimes I want to kill myself." ~ Kathryn in Cruel Intentions

Just for an added bonus, here's my favorite TV quote...
"You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love till it kills you both. You'll fight, and you'll shag, and you'll hate each other till it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends. Love isn't brains, children, it's blood ... blood screaming inside you to work its will. I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it." ~ Spike in Buffy the Vampire Slayer


Thursday, July 23, 2009

Summer? Bummer. The Curse of Sunny-Day Depression

As Temperatures Rise, Mood Bottoms Out for Some Who Claim Rare Form of Depression

By ABC News

The summer got off to a slow start in Santa Monica, Calif., -- and Saskia Smith could not have been more pleased.

"We had two months of relative cool and cloud coverage," she recalled. "That really was like a soothing balm."

But then the weather got warmer. And unlike the throngs of sun worshippers who head to the outdoors at the first sign of warm weather, the 32-year-old Smith said for her the summer months bring about depression and anxiety.

"I look outside now, and I acknowledge a perfect, beautiful blue sky," she said. "But then I look at the sun and the heat coming off the pavement and I say, 'Ugh, I don't want to go outside.'"

It may seem like an unusual reaction, and it is; psychology experts say only a handful of people experience this particular variation of what is known as seasonal depression. And some even doubt that a depressive condition specifically linked to the summer months actually exists.

"As a clinical psychologist in the practice and research sphere, my understanding is that 'reverse' seasonal affective disorder is not a true disorder or diagnosis and is mentioned only a few times in the existing clinical literature," said Katherine Muller, assistant professor of psychiatry at Montefiore Medical Center in New York. "Depending on the presenting symptoms, clinicians would likely label this as a mood disorder and offer treatments that we know are effective for depression, such as antidepressant medications and/or cognitive behavioral psychotherapy."

Smith is not alone, however. John, 73, of Oregon (who requested that his full name be withheld) said he has experienced periods of depression, each lasting for several months, that have coincided with seven of the last eight summers. At the time John spoke with ABCNews.com, he said he was in the midst of just such an episode.

Depression Strikes Some During Summer Months

"They typically start around May, and they tend to go into some degree of remission between September and November," John said.

But during these months, he said, the symptoms he experiences are debilitating. "Things that I enjoy doing, I lose all enthusiasm for," he said. "I experience what is known as anhedonia -- joylessness, an inability to experience pleasure."

And even though John has experience helping others discover the root of their depression -- he is a psychologist himself -- he said that when it comes to the origins of his own depression, he is at a loss.

"I'm really stumped," he said. "I have no good sense for what brings these episodes on."

Dealing With Summer Onset Depression

People who say they suffer from summer-onset depression face what many would consider a rough deal. Not only do their depressive symptoms occur during a season normally associated with recreation and fun, but they also strike at a time when psychiatrists and therapists are notorious for taking their August vacations.

But despite the scarcity of scientific literature on summer depression, research on seasonal affective disorder -- or by the evocative acronym SAD -- has led to a greater acceptance that winter blues, at least, are a legitimate diagnosis.

SAD is normally associated with depression, lethargy, fatigue and other symptoms that coincide with the colder, darker months of the year. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, up to 10 million people in the United States have some degree of winter-onset depression.

A number of studies dating back to the early 1980s suggest that these depressive symptoms are consequences of too little light, and today researchers believe that a dearth of light can lead to low levels of serotonin in the brain. This chemical plays an important role in mood regulation and proper sleep-wake cycles.

Dr. Alfred Lewy, director of the Sleep and Mood Disorders Laboratory at Oregon Health and Science University, published a paper in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences three years ago in which he and his colleagues found convincing evidence that winter SAD was a result of a concept known as "circadian misalignment" -- a jet lag-like disruption of sleep/wake patterns brought about by a change in the seasons.

Summer Depression Remains a Mystery

The root cause of summer depression is much less clear. Lewy said that the first real studies conducted to determine the existence of a summer version of SAD were conducted in 1991 by Dr. Thomas Wehr of the National Institute of Mental Health and colleagues. He said that these initial studies showed that in general, sufferers tended to experience a different range of symptoms than their winter SAD counterparts.

"In people with summer depression, you see a decreased appetite and insomnia; with winter depression, you get an increased appetite and increased sleep," Lewy said.

It is a feeling with which Smith is familiar.

"I started getting anxiety... It's very difficult because there is nowhere to escape," Smith said. "I liken it to feeling like a little insect under a magnifying glass. All you can do is hide away in a dark place."

But because cases of summer depression are relatively rare -- less than 1 percent of the population, by some estimates -- researchers in the field have a difficult time finding enough people with the condition to conduct large studies. Lewy said he has encountered only a few patients who seem to have depression linked to the approach of summer.

Still, he said, this does not mean that summer-onset depression doesn't exist.

"It's a fairly rare disorder, but I think Dr. Wehr is on to something," Lewy said. But as for the underlying causes, he added, "We don't know the answer to that."

Dealing With Summer Depression

Smith said that when she has too much exposure to the bright sun of summer, her symptoms can range from irritability to anxiety and panic attacks.

"It becomes very disabling at a certain point," she said. "At my lowest point I felt very suicidal."

Fortunately, Lewy said, existing treatments for depression are generally effective for those who experience similar symptoms. "As far as I know, the antidepressant that is used to treat non-seasonal depression has also been used in treating summer depression and winter depression," he said.

While Smith said that she has never taken antidepressants or any other medication, relying instead on supplements and other non-medical remedies, she has also found other ways to deal with the condition. She said that she even makes it a point to leave town during the worst of the summer months to head for a cooler, less sunny locale for a couple of weeks. Smith also manages a community web site for others who experience summer depression.

Searching for Treatments for Summer Depression

Lewy said that as researchers and clinicians discover more about the disorder, new treatment options may become available. He said that he is currently working to establish whether levels of another brain chemical known as melatonin might have anything to do with the phenomenon -- and whether treatment with it could be the key to relieving the symptoms in some.

"Summer depression may eventually be treated with dark or orange goggles that block out blue light," he said. "Perhaps we will use a low dose of melatonin to adjust the 24-hour cycle, or some other intervention. But as to whether this would help, that research still needs to be done."


Eating Habits in the Obese May Echo Drug Addicts' Patterns

Note from Jennifer: I found this interesting, but it was no big (pun intended) surprise to me


By HealthDay

When it comes to weight control, it might not be the kind of snack that matters, but who eats it.

When researchers gave similarly "sinful" snacks to obese and non-obese women, the healthy-weight women wanted less of the treat over time, but obese women kept wanting more.

"Obese and non-obese women respond to high-energy, high-density snacks in different ways," said Jennifer Temple, lead author of the study, which appears in the August issue of the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition. "For us, this underscores a need for really doing detailed studies comparing obese and non-obese women in terms of how they respond to food to try to understand things that work better to improve healthy eating."

"You can't take what you see in non-obese women and think it will automatically have the same effect in obese women," added Temple, an assistant professor in exercise and nutrition science at the University at Buffalo, in New York.

Such information could one day be useful in tailoring dieting strategies for different people.

According to background information in the study, only 10 percent of people who lose weight through dieting and exercise manage to keep that weight off for five years.

Scientists have postulated that one reason for the high failure rate is that people feel deprived of their favorite foods and end up making up for their period of abstinence.

In an earlier study, the same research team had found that "food reinforcement," the term they use to describe motivation to eat, decreased in non-obese women who were asked to consume their favorite snack, be it M&Ms or Oreo cookies, for days at a time.

"After two weeks of eating the same snack food, the women came back into the lab and said, "I don't ever want to see a potato chip again,'" Temple said. "They had no interest in working for the food."

But 300 calories is a large portion, so the researchers decided to do a similar study but with smaller (100-calorie) portions as well as the large portions. In addition, a third group of women consumed no snack calories. The study included 31 obese and 27 non-obese women.

All participants were asked to "work" for their food by performing tasks on a computer program set up as a sort of slot-machine. When all of the shapes on the screen matched, volunteers earned points toward eating.

The women were given pre-packaged portions of their favorite snack to eat every day for two weeks. Snacks tended to fall into one of two categories: high-fat and high-sugar (cookies, candy bars) or savory, meaning just high in fat (such as potato chips).

"For the zero and 100-calorie portions, the obese and non-obese groups looked the same," Temple said. "The food reinforcement didn't change before and after the two weeks, which would be expected."

However, non-obese women who snacked on 300-calorie portions exhibited no increase in motivation to eat, but motivation did increase in obese women who consumed the larger portion, the study found.

"They actually worked harder for the food," Temple said. "This was surprising to us. We had anticipated in the beginning that we might not see a decrease or as large of a decrease, but we didn't expect to see an increase."

In some cases, women reported still wanting the food even though they didn't like it.

The pattern is strikingly similar to that seen in drug addicts.

"We're exploring this idea of sensitization, which happens with drug use," Temple said. "Response to a drug will actually decrease over repeated use."

And that leads to more drug use.

"I stop short of calling overeating an addiction," she added. "I don't think it has all of the same properties, but I think we can learn something about overeating behavior from the drug world. We're applying the same experimental paradigms to food and trying to see if obese people might be more susceptible to having an increased response to repeated food administration."

Marianne Grant, a registered dietitian and health educator with the Texas A&M Health Science Center's Coastal Bend Health Education Center in Corpus Christi, said that something else could be at work.

"This suggests to me that people who were obese were not eating out of hunger," Grant said. "There was some other need that eating was filling for them."

"Everyone is different and approaches eating in a different way," she said. "What works for one person may not work for another person. Overeating may be because of some reason other than hunger. That issue needs to be addressed."


Thursday Thunks


1. You walk into a store and the cashier is being held up by a robber. The robber's accomplice is dead on the floor at your feet with a shotgun laying next to him. The robber does not see you, but the cashier does - what do you do?
I'd probably slowly back out of the store, get into a hiding spot & call 911. Then cry

2. We go to an ice cream shop for an ice cream cone. You say you are buying and I am going to stay in the car. You ask me what I want and I say "surprise me", what kind of ice cream cone am I going to get?
Depends on what ice cream shop it is, but one of the brands has a kind of ice cream that looks like neon playdough. I always wanted to try it, but wasn't brave enough. I'd get you that and sneak a taste. That way if I hate it, I would still have my favorite kind for me

3. You have a dream that your co-worker, friend or whoever is hit by a garbage truck after they back into a ladder with a black cat on it. The next day you see that person standing by a ladder with a black cat on it and there is a garbage truck driving down the road.... what do you do?
Ignore it, especially if it's the one coworker I hate

4. What is the most money you've won on a lottery or scratch off ticket?
$27 from a scratch off ticket

5. A neighbor kid down the street comes to your door and offers to wash all of your windows outside for $10 - do you have him do it?
No. I could do that with a water hose

6. Go to Google Images. Type in the name of the last movie you saw. Post the first picture that comes up.


7. Your local animal shelter calls you and says there are 3 dogs that need an immediate foster home for 3 days. If you do not accept, the dogs are put down that day. Do you take them in?
Absolutely

8. What is the messiest room in your home?
All of them... I need to hire a maid ... or go into a bipolar mania for a while

9. Have you ever been to a wedding that participated in a strange tradition that you had never heard of?
Weddings themselves are a strange tradition

10. Name one sport that you just don't get.
Well I don't get why people obsess about any of them, but most of all I don't get Nascar. Why does anyone like to watch cars driving?

11. What was the last email that came into your inbox about?
It was a notification saying I had a direct message on twitter

12. Have you ever purchased anything from a sex shop? Extra points if you tell us what it was....
Yes... You'd regret asking me that if I really explained what all I've bought

13. Go back to that Google Images link... type in the last food item that you ate. Post the 2nd picture it comes up with.


14. Got any bumper stickers on your vehicle? What are they?
I don't have any on this car. On my last car, I had a green lizard sticker, one of a deck of cards, dice, and paw prints

15. What meme question do you wish was never asked again?
"What's your favorite color?"


Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Someone stole my photo

Someone took the funny photo I took of Pearlz back in November of her standing on my steering wheel (click here) and made the following image on Ihasahotdog.com. A coworker just saw it and sent me an image asking if it was my dog


Update on "fast" from sex

After 3 whole months without any sexual activity, I've decided that I'm going to continue with my fast for the foreseeable future. There have been a few times where I almost broke down and had sex, but I haven't. I am quite proud of myself considering most people thought I wouldn't even make it 3 weeks without sex.

I've decided that I'm much happier without thinking about sex all the time. If it's predetermined that I'm not going to have sex, I don't focus on getting it.

I'm thinking I'll try to make it until my birthday on the fast (October 1). We'll see how this goes.


Monday, July 20, 2009

Mission Impossible


The Mission Impossible Meme
Lift off!


1. You are a guest on the space shuttle. You just arrived on the moon and realize you forgot something back home that you can't live without. What is it and how do you convince them to go back and fetch it?
My first reaction was to say my trusty vibrator, but it's way too important to me and I don't think I could possibly forget that, and I guess even if I did, I could turn to one of my fellow astronauts to take its place, so that can't really be my real answer (Sorry for the T.M.I. moment) ... I guess I'd have to say my sleeping pills. I can't sleep at all without them. I wouldn't have to really convince them. After two straight nights of me not sleeping, they'd be begging me to let them take me home to fetch it.

2. Pretend you are a teacher in a rough public school for one day. You have been assigned to teach Manners 101. You have the "challenging bad butt kids" class (remember this is a pretend school and anyway I can't say ass on my blog 'cause it's so unQueenly and I might get fined or something). They are jumping up and down, cursing, and throwing things at you. What is the first thing you would write on the board?
"Shut the fuck up" ... and then I'd be promptly fired, which would be good because my mom never really taught me manners (or if she tried, I ignored her)

3. Someone in your family or a friend has started a blog. They think it is anonymous but you have figured it out. They are saying derogatory things about you. Do you tell them or do you read it for awhile? How would you handle it?
In my case, I'm sure the opposite is more likely to happen. I always wonder if any of my family members or friends from back home has found my blog. I bad-mouth all sorts of people without their knowledge. Now if I did find a family member or friend's blog that said bad things about me, I'd probably keep my mouth shut but go to my blog and bad-mouth them.

4. If you had one dollar left in your pocket, what would you spend it on?
I'd like to say a bottle of Dr. Pepper but $1 won't cover it, so I'd get a lottery ticket and hope I'd win a few bucks, but my luck would be that I wouldn't win, so I'd be broke.

5. President Obama and the First Lady are coming over for dinner. What do you serve?
Oh geez, they wouldn't want to come to my house. It's way way too messy for company... I'd rather take them to Outback for steaks. Of course, the food is too expensive there, so they'd have to pay for themselves. I can only afford one $20 steak right now (well that is unless that lottery ticket from #4 actually won me some money)

6. You walk in on your lover. They are trying on your clothes. What do you do?
I'd blog about it, of course. Wouldn't really be the first time for that kind of situation. See what I mean by clicking here... On a side note, the cross-dressing exboyfriend randomly started sending me instant messages over the weekend. I hadn't heard from him in months, so it was weird. He was wanting to "hook up" sometime. Uh, no way in hell

7. Every astronaut must have shots! Choose your vaccination: You only get one and you can't enjoy any of the attributes of the other choices. You choose either: (1) The fountain of eternal youth and sexual vigor but only for 10 years (2) perfect health for a lifetime (3) eternal mind-numbing nirvana and peace of mind (4) unlimited hedonism for one year with no negative consequences.
I assume that most people would think I'd pick #1 ... but I'd go for #2. I'm so sick of being sick all the time. I'd rather have a lifetime of good health than have sex with any of the men I know


Depression Poses Pregnancy Risks

By HealthDay News

Thanks to high-profile celebrities like Brooke Shields, postpartum depression is out of the closet and discussed as something to recognize and treat.

But less well known is depression during pregnancy -- a common problem as well, and one that also can be risky for the unborn baby, experts now know.

A depressed woman, for instance, is more likely to give birth early, increasing health risks for the baby.

Depression during pregnancy is more common than most people believe, agree Dr. De-Kun Li, a reproductive perinatal epidemiologist in the research division at Kaiser Permanente in Oakland, Calif., and Dr. Diana Dell, a psychiatrist and obstetrician-gynecologist at Duke University Medical Center in Durham, N.C.

One or two of every 10 pregnant women have symptoms of major depression, according to the March of Dimes. Those who have had a bout of depression before are more likely to get it again. And Li said that others might have depressive symptoms -- short of clinical depression but still bothersome and unhealthy.

In his recent study of 791 pregnant women, Li found that 44 percent had depressive symptoms, about half of them severe, during pregnancy. "It wasn't necessarily clinical depression," he said, but a mood noticeably low.

Li tracked the women through delivery and found that those with depressive symptoms had nearly twice the risk of delivering a baby early, before 37 weeks.

Early delivery, by itself, is associated with health risks, he said. "Premature delivery is the No. 1 cause of infant mortality," he said. His findings were published in the January 2009 issue of Human Reproduction.

"We don't know the mechanism" of why depression and early delivery are linked, Li said. But what's certain is that "depression is not a benign condition," he said. "It can be harmful to your baby."

What about antidepressant use during pregnancy?

"What I tell patients who see me in consultation [for depression] is that moms need to be well in pregnancy," Dell said.

That may or may not mean taking antidepressants, she said. There have been no head-to-head comparisons of antidepressants during pregnancy to determine which are safest, she said, making it difficult to know, if medication is needed, which to choose.

In 2008, the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists updated its bulletin, "Use of Psychiatric Medications During Pregnancy and Lactation." In it, the group notes that more than 500,000 pregnancies in the United States each year involve women who have psychiatric illnesses -- depression, but other illnesses as well -- that occurred before the pregnancy or emerge with it.

In the bulletin, the college experts offer a number of recommendations, including the suggestion that pregnant women avoid the antidepressant paroxetine (Paxil). In 2005, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration issued a warning about Paxil based on studies that found that it might increase the risk of birth defects.

Other reports have found that babies born to women who are taking a type of antidepressant known as an SSRI (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor) could have breathing or feeding problems, according to the March of Dimes.

The bulletin recommends that treatment with antidepressants be individualized.

Antidepressants, though, aren't the only option to treat depression during pregnancy, Dell said. Other options include talk or cognitive therapy. Some women might find help through a support group, according to the March of Dimes. And, if a woman has the type of depression known as seasonal affective disorder, which returns in the fall and winter when less light is available, light therapy might help, according to the March of Dimes.

What is crucially important, Li and Dell agree, is for a woman who is pregnant and thinks she is depressed to alert her physician. Together, they can weigh the pros and cons of treatment and decide what would be best for her and the baby.


Fox enlists mental-health experts

By AScribe

LOS ANGELES -- To educate viewers on the realities behind illnesses such as bipolar disease, schizophrenia, anxiety and others, Fox Broadcasting enlisted the expertise of the Entertainment and Media Communication (EIC) Institute's Center on Mental Health, the research and strategy division of the Entertainment Industries Council, Inc. EIC and the Institute are providing mental health content online tied to each episode of the network's new series “Mental.”

Viewers who would like to learn more about the illnesses discussed in each episode, can visit the show's web site, (http://www.fox.com/mental/), which links to content on EIC's website (http://www.eiconline.org/). Here visitors are provided in-depth information and resources on related illnesses from each episode of the show. Viewers can identify with and become proactive in educating themselves about mental health by the entertainment portrayals on “Mental” and other shows. The site also provides links to enable viewers to take steps toward getting help and how to reach out to others in need of assistance or support.

“Mental” currently airs Fridays (9 to 10 p.m. ET/PT) on FOX.

About Entertainment Industries Council

EIC, a non-profit organization, was founded in 1983 by leaders of the entertainment industry to bring the power of the industry to bear on health and social issues. The organization is considered to be the grand daddy and chief pioneer of entertainment advocacy outreach and one of the premiere success stories in the field of entertainment education and information resources for entertainment creators, through innovative and time-proven services and methods of “encouraging the art of making a difference” from within the entertainment industry.

EIC addresses health issues such as drug, alcohol, and tobacco use and addiction; firearm safety and injury prevention; sun safety and skin cancer prevention; human trafficking; terrorism and homeland security; mental health and mental illness, including bipolar disorder, depression and suicide; diabetes; seat belt use and traffic safety; and HIV/AIDS prevention. For more information, please visit http://www.eiconline.org/ .

Entertainment and Media Communication Institute's Center on Mental Health

The Entertainment & Media Communication Institute was formed by EIC to educate and provide information resources for the entertainment industry's creative community and television, online and print media journalists relative to health and social issues, to enhance their capability of addressing such issues with accuracy and authenticity. The Institute coordinates a multi-disciplinary faculty of experts knowledgeable about various health and social issues and about health communications theory and practices.

“Mental” is executive-produced by Deborah Joy LeVine (“Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman,” “The Division”) and her brother and writing/producing partner, Dan Levine and stars Chris Vance and Annabella Sciorra.


LSD and fruit flies to be used to identify novel genes for psychosis and schizophrenia

By AScribe

NEW ORLEANS -- Charles Nichols, Ph.D., Assistant Professor of Pharmacology at LSU Health Sciences Center New Orleans, has been awarded a grant in the amount of $1.4 million over four years by the National Institutes of Health's National Institute of Mental Health to find and characterize novel genes involved in psychosis and schizophrenia, using novel research methods.

Dr. Nichols' approach is innovative, combining discovery studies with functional and behavioral studies in two different models to determine how mental disorders like psychosis and schizophrenia develop. By studying both a new rodent model of psychosis that he is co-developing, which involves treating rats with the powerful hallucinogenic drug lysergic acid diethylamid (LSD), and the fruit fly, Drosophila melanogaster, analysis of gene function relative to whole animal behavior can be accomplished more rapidly than with traditional rodent models alone.

“We believe that changes in gene function, influenced by abnormal activity in specific regions of the brain regulated by the neurotransmitter serotonin, contribute to neuropsychiatric disorders. The effects of LSD can be very similar to aspects of psychosis in people, but no one really understands how LSD works other than it changes how serotonin functions in the brain,” notes Dr. Nichols.

In preliminary studies, Dr. Nichols has shown that, remarkably, both serotonin and hallucinogenic drugs like LSD influence many complex behaviors in the fly directly relevant to those that are abnormal in humans with psychosis and schizophrenia, including aggression, learning and memory, social interaction, and sensory perception.

The LSUHSC research team will probe specific regions of rat brains that correspond to key cognitive centers of the human brain using advanced genomic and proteomic methods to identify abnormally functioning genes and proteins. Additional studies will translate these results to the fruit fly, where the functional role of both the native and mutant forms of the fly version of these genes and proteins will be examined in behaviors relevant to psychosis. Genes and proteins that are abnormally turned on or off by LSD in the rat brain, and found to participate in causing relevant behaviors in the fruit fly, may represent novel therapeutic targets for neuropsychiatric disorders.

Schizophrenia is a debilitating neuropsychiatric disorder that affects about one out of every 100 Americans, and mental disorders are the leading cause of disability in the U.S. and Canada for ages 15-44. Major mental disorders cost the nation at least $193 billion annually in lost earnings alone, according to a 2008 study funded by the National Institute of Mental Health. The World Health Organization has identified schizophrenia as one of the ten most debilitating diseases affecting human beings. While treatments are improving, there are still people who do not respond or only partially respond.

“Our results may lead to new avenues for therapeutics to treat such devastating diseases as schizophrenia and psychosis,” says Dr. Nichols.


Sunday, July 19, 2009

HELTER SKELTER



This weeks meme: HELTER SKELTER


1.what is one thing that will put a great big ole smile on your face?
Puppies !!!


2.Your walking down the street toward a very familiar face. As you get closer you realize you do not remember this persons name at all. Do you speak with the chance that they'll want to stop and chat or do you pretend that you don't see the person?
I pretend I don't see them

3. Are you the Rock or the sponge of your household?
I'm always the rock

4. you have gone over to a friends for dinner. You look down at your plate and notice a great big ole hair hanging out from inside your sandwich. What do you do. ?
Take it out and eat the sandwich. A little hair ain't gonna kill you

5. If you HAD to name one....who would you say is your role model?
My mom

6. Have you raised children? if so do you think your parenting skills were top notch or could have used a little help from Dr Phil?
Dr Phil is a moron. That's all I have to say on that issue

7. would your -(Past or present)- mate/spouse, significant other/whatever -say that living with you has been like a gentle breeze or more like a hurricane?
I like to think everyone would characterize me as a tornado. The borderline/bipolar makes me be like that... I'm all calm one minute and the storm comes out of nowhere and destroys everything in my path... yep that's me


8. When you shop at the grocery store, do you always shop exactly by a list or just go helter skelter and hope that you get home with most of what you need?
I don't like to make lists, so I just go and buy whatever I feel like at the time. Not a good way to shop


Saturday, July 18, 2009

Sunday Stealing: The Heretic Meme

Sunday Stealing: The Heretic Meme

1. Who was the last person of the opposite sex you lay in a bed with?
It was back in April before the sex "fast." It was an architect I met through Tumblr. That's as far as I'm going with that explanation

2. Where was the last place you went out to eat?
I got some food through the drive-thru of a new Freddy's Frozen Custard location for lunch today

3. What was the last alcoholic beverage you consumed?
It's been so long that I don't know

4. Which do you prefer - eyes or lips?
Really nice supple lips

5. Medicine, fine arts, or law?
Law

6. Best kind of pizza?
Stuffed crust extra cheese from Pizza Hut

7. What is in store for your future?
Hell if I know

8. Who was the last band you saw live?
Korn

9. Do you take care of your friends while they are sick?
Yeah I'm known for that

10. How many songs are on your iPod?
What iPod?

11. Where is the last place you drove to?
Work. Last long trip was to my mom's house

12. Where did your last kiss take place?
At the ex-fiance's house

13. What were you doing at 11:59 PM on Monday night?
I was still at work waiting on someone to say I could go home

14. Are you a quitter?
In some cases, yes

15. Who was the last person you had in your house?
The air conditioning repairman

15. What do you think about people who party a lot?
Two #15's ? It's their life; they can do what they please

16. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?
Nope, in fact I'm quite comfortable with it

17. What was the last CD you purchased?
Um, as in paid for? I think it was one of Todd Agnew's CDs

18. What are two bands or singers that you will always love?
At one point, I would have said Mandy Moore, but I stopped loving her after hearing the music on her latest CD. So I guess I'll say Pink and Britney Spears... gotta love the crazy chicks

19. Which of the seven deadly sins are you guilty of?
All of them I'm sure

20. How is your last ex doing?
That depends on which one you'd consider to be my "last" ex. Regardless of that though, I don't really care how any of them are doing


Do you understand what I'm going through?

Do you ever wish you'd never been born?


Does your medicine cabinet make you feel like a drug addict?


Can you not sleep no matter how much you want to?


Does your insomnia leave you questioning your life?


Do you feel your sanity slipping away more and more each day?

Have you decided that you actually enjoy your insanity?


Have you ever had a million thoughts run through your mind at once, making you want to scream at the top of your lungs?


Do you ever feel like the time is spinning out of control, but you're standing still?

Have you ever gotten an image stuck in your head that you can't get rid of no matter what you try?


Do you smile and laugh to hide how depressed you are?


Have you ever wanted to stay in bed until someone actually cared that you haven't gotten up?


Have you made so many people mad that no one seems to care about your well-being anymore?


Do you ever wish you could stay in bed all day instead of doing your daily tasks?


Do you feel like you put on a different mask every day?


Have you ever thought you should walk around with a warning sign on your body so people know what to expect?


Do you hear voices in your head, but even the voices have stopped having interesting things to talk about?


Do you feel like part of your brain is flat out missing?


Have you ever been stopped behind a car at a stoplight that has a license plate which asks if you're ok and you start crying because you aren't ok?


Are you so lazy that your dirty dishes have began to look like the Leaning Tower of Pisa?


Have you ever pretended to be sick so a family member who was supposed to come visit wouldn't come over just because you were too lazy to go hide your adult novelty items?


Do you want to kill cupid so you'll never fall in love again?


Do you have a mannequin named Anna who you like to talk to and pretend she's your best friend because all your real-life friends are jerks?


Have you written about your many mental illnesses in a blog for over two years but one day talk about dreaming of purple poop and worry that is the one blog entry which is going to make everyone think you're crazy?



Do you ever wish life would give you a sign that tells you what you should do or where you should go?


Are you ever too depressed to even cry?


Would you rather eat chocolate than have sex?


Do you feel like you've lost your soul?


Have you lost your creativity?


Do you worry about things that most likely will never actually happen?


If you answered yes to even one of the questions, you understand a little bit of what I've been going through... If you answered yes to a bunch of them, you too may be a little bipolar and/or borderline, and you may want to get that checked out by professionals.

DISCLAIMER: While each of these were totally true and serious, I don't mind if you got a little laugh at my expense while reading some of the questions....


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