A couple weeks ago I changed my ex-fiance's entry in my phone's address book from his name to "BITCH DON'T TEXT HIM," and changed my ex-boyfriend Aaron's entry to "Good-for-nothing Ass wipe." It's not really a nice thing for me to do, but I had to do something to prevent myself from contacting them in the middle of the night.
I've called the ex-fiance a few times in the middle of the night when I've felt suicidal in the past, and he's just made me feel worse by giving me guilt trips about how I hurt him. Talking to him just makes me ten times more suicidal.
After I convinced myself to not call either of them, I started thinking about the song "Need You Now" by Lady Antebellum. Two months ago, I had never even heard of Lady Antebellum, but then they won a Grammy, and now they're on the radio all the time. That song fits how I was feeling last night almost perfect (well except for the drunk part because I don't drink anymore).
"Need You Now" by Lady Antebellum
Picture perfect memories, scattered all around the floor..
Reaching for the phone, cause i cant fight it anymore..
And i wonder if I ever cross your mind, for me it happens all the time
It's a quarter after one and I'm all alone and i need you now,
Said i wouldn't call but i lost all control and i need you now,
And i don't know how, i can do without, i just need you now
Another shot of whiskey,
can't stop looking at the door,
wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before,
and i wonder if I ever crossed your mind,
For me it happens all the time
It's a quarter after one and i'm a little drunk and i need you now,
Said i wouldn't call but I lost all control and i need you now,
And i don't know how i can do without, i just need you now,
Yes i would rather hurt then feel nothing at all,
it's a quarter after one, im alone and i need you now,
and i said i wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk and i need you now
And i don't know how i can do without, i just need you now,
1 comments:
I saw your post about being lonely run though my RSS feed the other day. I cannot remember if I responded to it or not. If I did not, I apologize, I really have not felt well until today.
I am glad you resisted the urge to call them. Back before I was married, I used to do the same thing when I got lonely. Then I broke the habit, by calling my Grandfather when I got lonely. He and I never talked about anything serious in these conversations, but it always lifted my spirits to make him feel good. Is there someone like that you could call when you get that way that will just talk with no other purpose but because they enjoy talking to you?
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