BPD in OKC: I'm no longer "sober"

Mature audiences only

You have no doubt seen or heard the commercials: "Where does depression hurt? EVERYWHERE. Who does depression hurt? EVERYONE." Mental illnesses can consume you, take over your entire life and hurt everyone around you if you let it. I am no exception.

My life feels like I am stuck riding on a rollercoaster in the middle of a hurricane. I have ups and downs, and I have left a path of destruction in my wake. My sanity dangles on a tiny fragile string, and through this blog I am giving the world a look into my broken mind and my unstable life.

In the end, I am just a girl trying to maintain my sanity in a candy-coated world of misery. Here you'll get a glimpse at just how true those commercials are. Keep your arms and legs inside the blog at all times, hold on tight, and prepare yourself for a very bumpy ride ...

Feel free to comment here on the blog or email me at bpdokc@yahoo.com.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

I'm no longer "sober"

I had not drank alcohol for 18 months (since October 2008), but I made a decision to drink a little last week and this week. Before October 2008, I hadn't drank since February 2006. I seem to have this pattern of going quite a while without drinking, then deciding to drink a time or two before going on another long sober period.

I'm actually not upset with myself or anything this time. My boyfriend and I went out last Thursday and wound up doing a cheese tasting. I decided to try drinking two really nice raspberry flavored beers of Belgium origin. Then Tuesday, we hung out with my former best friend, and I had two mudslides at Applebees. After the day I had Tuesday, I felt like I deserved a little treat.

I don't think I'll start drinking regularly again, if for no other reason than the fact that I am on Effexor and I worry about the reactions between it and alcohol.

Since I'm in a really musical/therapeutic mood, I'm leaving you with two of my favorite songs, both oddly titled "Sober." The first is Pink's "Sober" and the second is Kelly Clarkson's "Sober."