He sounded really shocked. No one seems to see how depressed I am, not even him. I talk openly about being depressed but yet no one seems to believe me.
The facility is a daytime outpatient type place where I'll go for intense therapy and meetings with a psychiatrist 5 days a week. In theory I will go there during the day and then go to work in the evening just as I did during my last time there.
It will be a few weeks at least before I go into treatment because I will have to figure out the finances of it all. It will be over $2000 after the insurance has paid their share.
5 comments:
(hug)
If that's what is best, then pursue it. Good luck.
May I add that it is a FUCKING CRIME that in the United States of America, a sick person can't try to get better until they can come up with $2000.
Your boyfriend's not unusual - you know that, don't you? There's something you want to talk about but can't, because you're so used to being "blanked" by people that you approach the subject obliquely, now. It's something that you need to resolve - something fundamental to your everyday life, pretty much?
The subject is probably your father's abuse (I'm guessing, based on the frequency with which you mention it)? You know that this abuse has nothing to do with you, but was your father's pattern? And you want to understand how he could do this, when he's made you so miserable - why would somebody wish to make another person miserable? You want to understand this in such a way that you are not responsible for what he did? In other words, you want to satisfy yourself that it wasn't your "fault"?
It wasn't, of course. I'm not trying to read your mind, or anything, but the above are typical of the kind of questions that people in your position (and mine (although my abuser was my mother)), tend to ask.
I'll tell you for free why he did it: he was given no choice. He wasn't born like that, he was indoctrinated - that's how he was treated, such that in the end he could see the world no other way, and he was required to renounce any superior leanings that he might have had. I'm willing to say that I'm 99.9% sure of this (always allow a margin for error!). In other words, you're living pretty much the same adult life that your father does/did, with nobody to talk to about your stuff.
You're a good person, Jenn. Do you understand? And so's your boyfriend.
Matt
Good for you girl. I am so glad you are reaching out and getting the help you need and deserve. hug hug hug
I talk openly about being depressed but yet no one seems to believe me.
I run into the same problem. Makes me wonder if they're choosing to just ignore there's a problem of if they really are oblivious.
Most hospitals have a financial aid office where you can get assistance if you qualify. If you haven't checked into that, I recommend it. They can reduce the amount you owe and/or at least set up a payment plan so you can get treatment now instead of waiting weeks.
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