Pretentious Blogging

Sunday Stealing: The Pretentious Blogging Meme

1. How long have you been blogging?
I started this blog in 2007, but I had been blogging since 2002 on another blog

2. What made you start?
I wanted a way to get my thoughts out of my head and onto paper (figuratively)

3. Who inspired you?
I can't say anyone inspired me to do it

4. About how many hours a week would you estimate you spend on your blog?
I'd guess about 7

5. What kind of experience or background do you have with writing?
I used to write poetry and won quite a few awards for it, and I worked as a newspaper reporter for years

6. Talk about how you come up with blog topics. Where do you get your ideas?
My blog topics come straight out of my own life or the lives of my friends/family/coworkers

7. What or who inspires you and your blog?
Life inspires me

8. Where and/or how do your brainstorming for your blog?
My blog entries normally come to me in the middle of the night while I'm laying in bed

9. Do you have any blogging rules or guidelines you follow?
I try not to constrain my thoughts by rules or guidelines

10. Is there anything you will not blog about?
Nope

11. Do you have any sort of a publishing schedule in terms of day of week or topic?
The closest thing I have to a schedule is these memes I do

Project 365 - photo 16

I took a photo of a Valentine's Day teddy bear, but it was a rather boring photo, so I tried to make it more interesting through photo editing.

Project 365, photo 15

I decided to take a winter wonderland-type photo off the parking garage at work today. Why are they running the fountain?

Dancing in the Rain

The Dating Profiles Meme: Dancing in the Rain

1. Ever dance in the rain?
Yes, it's fun. Or wait, was that a euphemism for sex in the rain?

2. Just Do It!
Isn't that what Katherine Heigl's character in "Knocked Up" said that led to her getting pregnant?

3. I am honest and I hope that you are too.
Nope, I'm a chronic liar...

4. When it comes to the someone I'm attracted to, I haven't had much luck.
Maybe you should lower your expectations

5. I have an intellectual/cultural side and hope you do too.
Hmm, art galleries, museums, poetry readings ... too boring for me

6. I love being active yet I can be a couch potato.
The couch potato part sounds attractive

7. Is there really such a thing as 'single by choice'?
Yes, but if you're single by choice, why are you joining a dating service?

8. Well I am a open, honest, strong, eager, happy, fun, intelligent, hardworking, dedicated, kind hearted and GODfearing person.
Way to go picking out all the good descriptive words from the example profile and then add Godfearing to make yourself appear religious

9. Easy going is my life, Classy is my style.
If you were really that easy going, you'd just put on whatever is comfortable and not have a true style

10. Take naps and drink plenty of water.
Um, thanks for the advice, MOM

Project 365 - photo 14

Nothing is better on a very cold day than a food that reminds you of your childhood ... except maybe pancakes. (It says "Brr" not "Bar")

I took two photos today to make up for one of the days I missed in the beginning of the month.

Project 365 - photo 13

This is either titled "Die, ex-husband, die" or "Don't piss me off." I haven't decided yet.

Project 365 - photo 12

There's supposedly a big winter storm coming in tonight, but today the sky is a beautiful blue with scattered clouds. I miss the days when I could just lay on the grass, clear my mind, and stare at the clouds for hours. It was escapism at its best. I can't clear my head and relax for anything now.

Project 365 - photo 11

Ok, so there may be a tiny part of me somewhere deep down that does not totally hate Valentine's Day. Later I'll deny that I ever said that ...

I took the photo in the Valentine's aisle at Walmart.

An apology to my readers

I want to apologize. I just looked in the spam folder for my yahoo email, and there were several emails from readers in there. I guess emails have been going into my spam that shouldn't have been, so I haven't been seeing all the emails being sent to me.

If you've tried to email me and I did not respond, I'm very sorry. I'll do a better job monitoring what is going into the spam folder.

Light My Fire

The Queen's Meme #22 ~ Come On Baby, Light My Fire!

1. Which historical figure do you admire the most? Why?
Honestly, I'm not sure who I'd say. Actually, I have NO idea who to say

2. Name the band or artist you'd like to see live in concert before you leave the planet or tell us about a concert or album that has already rocked your world.
Britney Spears ... I'm sure I'd end up thinking it was a waste of my money and time, but I'd still love to go

3. What's your favorite television show or series of all time? Why should I care?
"My So-Called Life" ... It was the first series I ever watched that showed an angsty teenage girl. Plus, who could resist Jared Leto's beautiful blue eyes?

4. Movies! I am so behind on the movie scene. What should I watch this weekend? Should I watch it alone or with someone?
"500 Days of Summer" ... It's sort of an anti-love story. It's about falling out of love

5. You are hopping on a plane tomorrow morning. Where did you choose to go and why?
I think I'd fly to a private island somewhere, so I could enjoy silence and wouldn't have to deal with other people for a few days

6. Who is your favorite author? What about their writing inspires you or simply entertains you? Recommend at least one book that you feel I must read.
I think overall my favorite author is Nicholas Spark. He has a real talent for writing emotional stories that make me cry. If you like the movies based on his books, you'd really love the actual books. My favorite is "A Walk To Remember." I loved the movie, but the book was so awesome and was better than the movie

7. Hobbies and passions. What brings you joy in your spare time? How did you get into it?
I love watching tv and movies, listening to music, writing, taking photos, playing with pets, and so forth. I blame small-town boredom for getting me into all of them

Project 365 - photo 10

I decided to go to my favorite pet store today and play with the puppies to cheer myself up. Puppies are the best anti-depressant, at least for me. Because they made me happy today, I decided to take this photo for my daily Project 365 photo. These were 8-week-old female miniature schnauzers. I held the one on the left for probably 45 minutes, and it kept kissing my nose as I talked to it.

Project 365 - photo 9

This was Sunday's photo. It may not look like it, but it has a very deep meaning. The green background (yes, it's a real green disco ball) symbolizes my ex-husband's jealousy. He'd get jealous every time I talked to another man, and he'd flip out. I'd then go out and buy him a stuffed monkey and flowers as an "apology" for the fight (hence the monkey). Now, I always associate monkeys with my failed marriage. How sad is that?

Or you can just look at it as a stylish monkey figurine photo...

the 3 minute meme

1. What color socks do you have on? (no peaking)
Plain white

2. What color underwear do you have on?
I think it was dark pink

3. What did you eat for breakfast this morning?
I haven't eaten a true breakfast in months

4. Who is the most annoying person on TV?
Carson Daly... he annoys me to my core and I'm not sure why

5. When was the last time you kissed someone?
I kissed my dogs before I left for work earlier today

6. What 'starlet' has had too much plastic surgery?
All of them. I don't agree with plastic surgery

7. What ingredients would you use to make a home made pizza?
Dough, sauce, cheese, ham

8. Who won the World Series last year?
How would I know

9. What is your weather like?
Mostly cloudy

10. Visit Thom's Blog and steal an image to post here.



11. Visit GlitterBabe's Art Shop and 'borrow' a drawing to show off here.



12. Visit Bud's Blog and steal a meme question to ask right here.
When is the last time you rode the bus?

13. How long did it take you to complete this meme?
I think it was about 3 minutes total. I kept clicking the links and the timer would reset every time

When did comics get so depressing?

I picked up today's comics from the newspaper and saw this "Peanuts" comic. When did comics get so depressing? Aren't the comics normally supposed to make you laugh? Poor Charlie Brown. (You can click it for a bigger, more readable version)

Peeing in the shower ?

This week's Post Secret cards were just posted, and there are four of them about peeing in the shower. Is that really THAT common? Do people really do that?

Anyways, here are the ones I loved this week...

Project 365 - photo 8

I titled this one as "Faith through the darkness." In my current depression, I am trying to keep hope that things will get better and that I'll get through all the chaos. (That is the real moon behind the crosses, and I photoshopped in the blurring)

I Think We're Alone Now

Saturday 9: I Think We're Alone Now

1. What celebrity in a fantasy would you like to be alone with?
Ryan Reynolds ... or Chad Michael Murray ... or Taylor Lautner. I can't possibly pick one

2. Have ever dated a good friend?
Yes, and it never works out well. When you break up, you lose a lover and a friend. It sucks

3. What is the most embarrassing song that you like?
"Bed Rock" by Lil Wayne



4. What is your favorite tear jerker movie?
"Marley & Me." I love dogs, so it was an awesome movie for me, but I bawled like a baby at the end

5. What about yourself makes you least secure?
Can I say "everything?"

6. Do you believe in destiny?
Yes, but I believe you can change destiny based on the decisions you make

7. What 'issue' do you think your opinion is so right about that you end up trying to sway others to your point of view?
I don't really think I try to sway anyone to my point of view. I try to not force my beliefs on others

8. What are 5 things you don't care about?
Michael Jackson's life and death, politics, 99% of sports, American Idol and shows like it, and which way you put toilet paper on the dispenser (there's a whole TV ad campaign right now discussing if you put it where it rolls under or over)

9. Have you ever been in a situation where you weren't sure if you were seducing or being seduced?
Yeah, pretty much every time I've ever had sex

Project 365 - photo 7

Today's photo is pretty self-explanatory...

It Ain't Easy

The Dating Profiles Meme: It Ain't Easy

1. It is never easy to talk about about yourself...
... Unless you're a big stud like I am and then you don't want to shut up about yourself

2. I am not a mind reader, so say what you mean and mean what you say
It's good that you can't read my mind because if thoughts could kill, you'd be dead by now

3. You can't Acquire what you Require if you don't Enquire.
In the words of a coworker, this person is a "mega dweeb with capitalization problems"

4. I have a creative streak and it know how to use it!
Stay the hell out of my bed! I don't want to know what you mean

5. Someone who might teach me how to kayak, or take me for a long walk through the woods showing me the beauty of the outdoors....
... And who will bang me against a tree

6. I enjoy walking, reading, going different places, taking long rides and seeing where we end up.
Sadly, I have no sarcastic things to say to that one

7. I don't say a lot at times but at other times very talkative.
Aren't we all like that?

8. If I meet your expectations please contact me --- If not I totally respect your honesty.
Here's a bit of honesty for you... "I'm not desperate enough to sleep with someone with your ugly face"

9. I love my blackberry and my Wii.
That's good ... maybe they'll keep you company when you don't get any dates from this stupid profile

10. I am a hard worker, owning my own house which I take great pride in the improvements I have done to make it a home.
Want to come do some improvements to my home for me? I'll trade sex for housework...

I'm losing control of my BPD

I've been putting off writing this for about 48 hours, but I can't put it off anymore.

As my bipolar/depression gets worse and worse, it's getting much harder to fend off the borderline tendencies. There's a big war going on in my head right now.

I've been in recovery from borderline for more than a year, meaning that I didn't meet enough of the BPD criteria to carry the diagnosis. Well in the last several days, I've slipped, and boy have I slipped bad.

I don't really want to explain what happened because of certain people who read the blog, but I will say that it was VERY impulsive and manipulative. (No, I didn't have sex with a stranger, or drink, or cut ... at least not yet)

If I don't get these borderline feelings under control quick, I think my "recovery" will be no longer. At this point in time, I'm meeting the majority of the 9 BPD criteria, and I'm really beating myself up over it. I really hate myself for screwing up, and I hate myself even more for the fact that I could have easily fixed what I did right away, but I didn't.

Project 365, photo 6

This is just an odd little photo representing how strange I feel compared to the rest of the world.

Thunk your thinker

1. Pants on the Ground....
I'm so sick of hearing about that. One of my coworkers won't ever shut up about it

2. To compliment Kimber's question from last week.... have you ever fell down the stairs?
I've fallen down stairs, up stairs, off rocks, out of a car, out of bed... you name it, i've fallen on it

3. Have you ever written to a company about their product? Ever called them?
I remember back in school, my English teachers made us write products to practice letter writing. I got some free M&Ms out of it

4. Your dog/cat/snake/iguana/pet skunk (or just fill in your pet's species) goes to the vet. Ok, you take them to the vet... most pets wouldn't go on their own. The vet tells you that your species has cancer. Do you:

• a. tell them to pull out the needle and put them to sleep on the spot
• b. take them home and let them live out their life until the end
• c. same as b. except you don't let them get to the suffering stage
• d. go full steam ahead with cancer treatments

I'd go with C

5. What is your favorite comfort food?
Lasagna

6. If your child was put in jail for putting a gun in their spouses mouth and pulling the trigger (even though the gun wasn't loaded), strangling them and breaking their arm... would you post bail for them?
Hell no... he can sit in jail for a while and learn his lesson

7. If elephants had wings, how many feathers do you think they would have on each wing?
According to this website, bald eagles have 7,000 feathers, and elephants are much bigger than eagles, so I'm going to guess that an elephant would have at least 7,000 per wing

8. Is there anything growing in your refrigerator right now?
There is hardly anything in my fridge right now, so I doubt it

9. What did you do with your Thursdays while we were on a break?
Mostly just work and sleep

10. Would you donate to the Kimber Ark Building Fund and donate wood? She is about to float away after all...
Sorry, but I'm totally broke and don't have the money to donate

11. If I were to send you a letter and I wanted to put a little heart sticker on the back of the envelope, what color sticker would you like it to be?
Red

Project 365 - photo 5

Today I decided to take a pro-love photo, instead of a broken heart-related photo. This is 1 Corinthians 13 from the Bible.