Project 365 - photo 85 ... flowers

These blueish-purple flowers had bloomed in my front yard when I left for work today. They're my first flowers of the year.

Massage may help lift depression

By Reuters Health

Massage therapy may help relieve symptoms of depression, a new review of the medical literature hints.

The authors of the review, however, acknowledge difficulties with research on the effects of massage, including the fact that it's impossible to "blind" study participants or care providers to whether a person is receiving massage or a comparison treatment.

Nevertheless, they say there is "good evidence to suggest that massage therapy is an effective treatment of depression."

Depression is a huge public health problem, and treatment is often inadequate, Dr. Wen-Hsuan Hou of I-Shou University in Kaohsiung, Taiwan and colleagues note in their report.

While massage can ease stress and tension and may have emotional benefits, the use of massage therapy in depressed patients is "controversial," the investigators note, and "there is no qualitative review of the treatment effect of massage therapy in depressed patients."

To investigate further, they searched for randomized controlled trials of massage therapy in depressed patients. They identified 17 studies including 786 people in all. In 13 of the trials, massage therapy was compared to another active treatment such as Chinese herbs, relaxation exercises, or rest, while four compared massage to a "no treatment" control group. Investigators also used a range of methods for evaluating mood and depression in study participants.

Overall, the studies, which were of "moderate" quality, showed that massage therapy had "potentially significant effects" in alleviating symptoms of depression, the researchers report in the American Journal of Psychiatry.

It's not clear from the analysis, they emphasize, whether a person would need to undergo regular massage therapy for benefits to persist.

There are a number of ways through which massage could help people with depression, the researchers note, for example, by reducing stress and inducing relaxation; building an "alliance" between the therapist and patient; and by causing the body to release the "trust hormone" oxytocin.

"Further well-designed and longer follow-up studies, including accurate outcome measures, are needed," they conclude.

SOURCE: Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, online March 23, 2010.

Project 365 - photo 84 ... Stupid trees

There are many things that I love about spring... sunny skies, warm temperatures, pretty flowers, beautiful blooms on trees, refreshing rain, the excitement during tornado season.... but all the positive things are overshadowed by the massively horrible allergies I have during the spring. These trees are the worst. They're flat out evil. I get anywhere near them and I start sneezing, my eyes start watering, and my throat starts to close up.

Princess with baggage

When I was growing up, I always dreamed of Prince Charming riding up on a white horse and sweeping me off my feet. We'd ride off into the sunset together and live happily ever after.

Nowhere in that dream did I have a ton of baggage. I never dreamed that I'd have a bunch of emotional baggage to try to fit on the back of that horse.

Well, no dream is ever perfect. Fairytales don't just happen without having to work at it. Everyone enters into relationships with some sort of baggage. I definitely have my share of baggage. Actually I think I have several people's shares of baggage.... abusive childhood, abusive marriage, divorce, rape, physical health illnesses, and mental illnesses.

Luckily my boyfriend has been very understanding and is helping me through some of my crap. It's actually surprised me that he's handled things as well as he has.

I have no idea what the point to this blog entry is. Just thought I'd ramble about the thoughts in my head.

Project 365 - photo 83 ... dramatic woman

I got stuck driving behind a semi-truck for a while today, which of course was annoying, but it had this pretty woman painted on the back of it. I loved how dramatic she looked.

I hate the term "Manic Monday"

Just a short rant ....

There is a gas station chain here that is doing a "Manic Monday" sale each week on their coffee. Every time I go into one of these gas stations, I roll my eyes at the signs. "Manic Monday" sales really piss me off.

I understand the concept... you've spent the entire weekend relaxing and now you have to go back to work and your errands and sometimes Mondays can make you feel crazy.

I just feel like it cheapens real mania. It's disrespectful to bipolar people. Maybe I'm the only person who feels this way, but yeah, it pisses me off.

Project 365, photo 82

My boyfriend and I went to a medieval fair this weekend, and I bought two wooden magnets with the word love and its symbol in Chinese for $1 each. It was my first medieval fair, and it was definitely an interesting experience seeing tons of people dressed up as knights, bar wenches, pirates, etc.

My favorite post secret cards for the week

Project 365 - photo 81 - hand holding

My boyfriend brought me Mountain Dew last night because I was feeling horribly sick and couldn't get off the couch without getting dizzy and nauseous. This is a photo of us holding hands (with a lot of obvious color editing)

Project 365 - photo 80 - I'm sick

I called in sick to work today. I seem to have a combination of a stomach flu, allergies, tooth pain, and PMS. Not fun. I've been lying down on the couch all day, and luckily for me, Oreo's been all cuddly.

Project 365, photos 78-79 --- anxiety at work

I got pretty stressed out at work today to the point where I felt like I was about to have an anxiety attack. I had to get away from my desk for a while to calm down. The company has three statues outside the main building that represent aspects of journalism. I never realized before today how bad their ribs stick out.

There's also a lake and really pretty waterfalls. I was hoping there'd be some ducks or geese down there to look at, but they weren't out there today.

Project 365 - photos 72-77

I took a bunch of photos yesterday because I was feeling creative and because I'm trying to get caught up for the days I missed at the beginning of the year before I started the project. I saw the wall decoration in this first photo in a store as I was wasting some time before work. My mom has said "be careful what you wish for" several times to me in the last week. It's one of those momisms that annoy me, but at least it's better than "I told you so."

I found an awesome map at Target. It was huge and shaped like the United States. Each state is cut out of a license plate into the correct shape. I automatically looked at Oklahoma. I'm proud to be from the 866 state.

These two were just random "love" signs I found in Target.

This was a garden stone found at the same store as the "be careful..." photo above. I hope that it's right ... that nothing lovely ever truly dies.

This last one is a photo of a dollar bill one of my coworkers drew on the day after I asked out my boyfriend. It was exactly a month ago today since we started seeing each other. When she did it, I reacted by saying, "Um, are we in the 7th grade?" I thought it was stupid at first, but I've kept it in my purse ever since. I can't bear to spend it.

Another song I'm currently loving

The song "According to You" by Orianthi has been around for a few months, but I've just recently started to love it. It reminds me so much of how my boyfriend sees me compared to all my past romantic partners. I heard so many negative things in my past relationships (and even from my abusive father), but not with this boyfriend. My boyfriend is so supportive about everything. I guess I never fully realized how much those negative words in the past affected my self-esteem. I feel so much better about myself now.



"According to You" lyrics

According To You
I'm stupid,
I'm useless,
I can't do anything right.
According to you
I'm difficult,
hard to please,
forever changing my mind.
I'm a mess in a dress,
Can't show up on time,
Even if it would save my life.
According to you. According to you.

But according to him
I'm beautiful,
Incredible,
he can't get me out of his head.
According to him
I'm funny,
Irresistible,
Everything he ever wanted.
Everything is opposite,
I don't feel like stopping it,
So baby tell me what I got to lose.
He's into me for everything I'm not,
According to you.

According to you
I'm boring,
I'm moody,
You can't take me any place.
According to you
I suck at telling jokes cause I always give it away.
I'm the girl with the worst attention span;
You're the boy who puts up with it.
According to you. According to you.

But according to him
I'm beautiful,
Incredible,
He can't get me out of his head.
According to him
I'm funny,
Irresistible,
Everything he ever wanted.
Everything is opposite,
I don't feel like stopping it,
So baby tell me what I got to lose.
He's into me for everything I'm not,
According to you.

I need to feel appreciated,
Like I'm not hated. oh-- no--.
Why can't you see me through his eyes'
It's too bad you're making me decide.

My latest song obsession

For the last few weeks, I've been rocking out to Lady Antebellum's song "Need You Now" constantly, but I got sick of it. I've now moved onto a new song. When I heard it the first few times I didn't know who sang it. I instantly connected to the song because of the strong emotion in the singer's voice. Then I found out what song it is -- "Whataya Want From Me" by Adam Lambert. Had I known it was by him I probably would have had such an attitude against it that I would have hated the song. It's nothing really against Adam exactly, but against all "American Idol" winners since Kelly Clarkson.

Anyways, the words of the song really drew me in, partially just because I have yelled "What do you want from me" in so many arguments with past romantic partners.



"Whataya Want From Me" lyrics

Hey, slow it down whataya want from me
Whataya want from me
Yeah I'm afraid whataya want from me
Whataya want from me

There might have been a time
And I would give myself away
Oooh once upon a time I didn't give a damn
But now, here we are so whataya want from me
Whataya want from me

Just don't give up I'm workin it out
Please don't give in, I won't let you down
It messed me up, need a second to breathe
Just keep coming around
Hey, whataya want from me
Whataya want from me
Whataya want from me

Yeah, it's plain to see (plain to see)
That baby you're beautiful
And it's nothing wrong with you
(Nothing wrong with you)
It's me, I'm a freak (yeah)
But thanks for lovin' me
Cause you're doing it perfectly
(It perfectly)

There might have been a time
When I would let you step away
I wouldn't even try
But I think you could save my life

Just don't give up I'm workin' it out
Please don't give in, I won't let you down
It messed me up, need a second to breathe
Just keep comin around
Hey, whataya want from me (Whataya want from me)
Whataya want from me (Whataya want from me)

FaceTwit

The Facebook Meme (aka The FaceTwit Meme)

1. Facebook has now surpassed Google in number of users and traffic.How much time do you spend on Facebook? If not FB, do you use Twitter?
Well... that's not really a fair question to ask me. I keep Facebook running in the background of my computer all the time. I use Twitter a little also

2. What is Farmville? I do not understand why people are asking me for margarine.
To quote Ryan Seacreast: "Farmville is like the Sims of farming"

3. Do you war in the Mafia Wars? I do not understand why people are asking me for cows.
I don't do the whole Mafia Wars thing. It looks stupid

4. What is Cafe World? I do not understand why people are asking me for bullets!
I assume you have a cafe, but I don't use it either

5. Are you being bombarded with these "See Who Has Been Looking At your Profile - See Who Your Peeps Are?" application request lately? I don't understand why people are asking me for my photograph and that of my dogs.
Yep, been bombarded with it. It's all bogus if you ask me

6. Which FB or Twitter applications, tags or gifts irritate you the most and why?
See question #5

7. Every morning I am faced with the question at the top of my Facebook profile page, "What's On Your Mind?" Now Mr. Online Mailman wants to know the same thing. Does the whole world need to know what I'm thinking at every moment? I can't write that in a public place ya know. But if you had to answer that question honestly at 9:00 am each morning, what would you say?
You assume I'm awake at 9 a.m.... ?

8. Do you know how you became friends and followers with everyone in your list on Facebook and Twitter?
Pretty much I think

9. Have you ever been deceived online by someone you thought was someone else? How did you know?
My exhusband created a fake profile and tried to get me to believe he was someone from my hometown. I caught him in his lie because he didn't know key facts about where things were in the town

10. Do you enjoy chatting via Yahoo Messenger or AOL the old-fashioned way? If so, who do you chat with most online?
I use AIM, yahoo, and MSN through Trillian. I prefer that to Facebook/Myspace chats and Twitter

11. Have you ever been contacted on Facebook or via email under false pretenses, for dubious purposes, or by meddling nosy people in general?
I'm sure I have

12. Think about it. We are all flitting around making bird noises on the internet. What would the PETA people say?! Can you think of a more suitable animal mascot for Twitter? What kind of sound would we make?
Who cares what PETA says? I support their mission, but their methods are crap

13. What kind of new cool innovative application would you like to see on Facebook or Twitter? What would you call it?
I'd like an application to block all the other applications

14. Have you ever had to block someone from Facebook or Twitter?
I've blocked lots of people

15. Do you allow your real life friends to communicate with you there or do you prefer to be incognito to the universe at large?
I let anyone contact me online

16. Do you belong to any CAUSES on Facebook or Twitter? If so, what makes you passionate about them and why did you join?
I belong to some on Facebook. I honestly can't tell you which ones

17. Do you know what a Twibe is?
It's like a tribe on Twitter

18. Have you ever rage twitted? Tell me!
I've manic tweeted when I posted tweets every couple seconds for hours at a time

19. I find that more and more people are reading my blogs on Facebook and commenting there. Do you share your blog posts on Facebook? Do you find that it helps or hinders your blog traffic?
I normally don't do it

20. Wanna be my friend on FB? I have nearly 800 now. At least I'd recognize you!
Sure, why not...

Project 365 - photos 69-71

Between mystery shopping assignments, I stopped in a thrift store and found this Eeyore. How is it that he looks severely depressed even when he is holding bright flowers and has flowers on his head?

I saw these two paintings at a different thrift store almost a month ago, but didn't buy them until today when they went on sale. For some reason, the faceless women and bright colors really spoke to me.

What parents need to know about teen suicide

By The Associated Press

Suicide is the third leading cause of death among 15- to 24-year-olds, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, and the phenomenon has lately been in the news. Cornell University is coping with a suicide cluster among students, two teenage girls killed themselves last month in Norwood, Pa., and four teens died by suicide last year in Palo Alto, Calif.

Scott Fritz, whose 15-year-old daughter took her life in 2003, says there are many things parents can do to prevent suicide.

“Educate yourself on the warning signs, risk factors, and very importantly, on protective factors,” said Fritz, president and co-founder of the Society for the Prevention of Teen Suicide.

Like many parents, Fritz said “we had no idea teen suicide was even a problem” — until his daughter's death. Teen suicide rates in the U.S. have decreased since the 1970s, but a 2007 CDC survey still found 14 percent of high school students had “seriously considered suicide” in the previous 12 months.

Fritz's organization offers an intense but extremely informative 17-minute video on its Web site called “Not My Kid” — http://www.sptsnj.org/ — that can help parents identify warning signs of suicidal behavior.

These include feelings of hopelessness, anger, excessive worry or anxiety or other signs of depression; self-destructive or risky behavior, including excessive drug or alcohol abuse; extreme changes in moods, attitudes or behavior, or a withdrawal from activities or socializing; and verbal or written threats, innuendos or statements like “Life isn't worth living.” In some cases there may be a family history of suicide.

Fritz added that death by gunshot is the leading method of youth suicide. “So if you are worried about your kid, make extra sure there is no access to guns,” he said.

Another factor often present in suicides is a “triggering event,” such as a disappointment that leads to despondency. The event might not seem like a big deal to adults, but remember that teenagers don't always have the skills to cope with stress related to school pressures, social situations or family conflicts. Or they may be struggling with a serious problem such as the loss of a loved one.

These “triggering events can push someone off the edge,” said Maureen Underwood, a social worker who has written suicide prevention school curricula and who works with the Society for the Prevention of Teen Suicide.

The phenomenon of multiple suicides in one community or school raises a terrifying question for parents: Is adolescent suicide contagious?

“There is a contagion factor with kids,” Fritz said. “It isn't any different than how they wear their hair or their clothes. They tend to copy each other.”

“There is something about peer identification in that age group,” agreed Underwood.

That doesn't mean parents should avoid raising the subject. The “Not My Kid” video stresses that there's no evidence that discussing suicide with kids in a responsible way leads them to do it. In fact, says Fritz, talking to teenagers about suicide helps prevent it.

But what exactly do you say?

Fritz says if there's been a suicide in your community or it's in the news, you might start like this: “‘I just read in the paper that so-and-so died by suicide. What do you think about that?' … Have you ever thought about suicide or what it means?“’

Just be careful not to glamorize or romanticize suicide; don't dilute the message that suicide is wrong. If your child knows of someone who committed suicide, you might say, “Johnny made a terrible mistake, and he can't take it back,” Fritz said.

Many schools discourage tributes or other physical memorials in cases of suicide, and Fritz's organization asks that schools and parents refrain from dedicating events or places named for the deceased. The society also says there is evidence that publicizing the details of how suicides are carried out can encourage copycat behavior.

Fritz believes his daughter's suicide was triggered by antidepressant medication, and he testified at federal hearings that led to warning labels about suicidal behavior as a risk of certain drugs. So he also urges parents whose kids are taking medication to educate themselves about “what the side effects are and what to look for,” he said.

But he noted that every suicide is unique, and multiple factors are usually involved, even if they may not be obvious beforehand.

“There is no typical profile,” added Underwood. “There's never just one reason; there's always a more complicated story.”

For parents, though, the message is simple: Talking about suicide with a teenager is not all that different from talking about drugs or sexual activity. Listen to what your child has to say and communicate your values.

The takeaway, Fritz said, should always be: “We value life, and no matter what problems you may have, there's nothing so bad that we can't work it through together.”

Have you ... ?

HAVE YOU ...

1. Googled yourself? Yes
2. Googled your neighbor? Yes
3. Used Google maps to spy on someone? Sort of
4. Spied on someone via Facebook? Yes
5. Friended someone on Facebook that you don't know? Yes
6. Tweeted gossip? Yes
7. Followed a celeb on Twitter? Yes
8. Kissed any one of your Facebook friends? Yes
9. Regretted an online relationship? Yes
10. Dumped someone online? No
11. Played a prank on someone online? Yes
12. Spied on a High School bully online? No
13. Written a nasty email? Yes
14. Sent something X-rated via email? Yes
15. Searched your state's/locality's database for predators? Yes
16. Done an online search on someone's traffic offenses? Yes
17. Ordered dinner online? Yes
18. Purchased something over $250 online? Don't think so
19. Left an anonymous comment? Yes
20. Checked out someone else's email (as in spy on your s.o.)? Yes

Project 365, photos 66-68

In one day's mail, I got my copy of the funeral program from my grandmother's funeral, a sympathy card from my coworkers for my great aunt and grandmother's deaths, and a random free dream catcher from an Indian school I once donated to. It was a fairly sad day for mail, but for some reason getting that dream catcher made it not so bad. This photo is a closeup of the dream catcher...

Then a few days ago I was going through a stack of unopened mail that had been sitting on my couch, and there was a Christian-based magazine with the words "Love life" in several places. The colors in this photo are basically reversed via photoshopping. The overall background was originally white with white letters printed on black rectangles. I added the blue neon effect.

As I've said on here tons of times, I think Eeyore is a very good representation of being depressed, so I love anything with Eeyore on it. I found this magnetic "W" at a thrift store last week and bought it since my last name starts with a W.