BPD Awareness Month

Tomorrow starts both Borderline Personality Disorder Awareness Month and Mental Health Month.

Also, according to a BPD group on Facebook, there's a movement to make Saturday "BPD Awareness Day" by wearing black and white clothing. I'll be wearing black & white, and I hope you guys will do it also to help raise awareness.

If you want to read some more information on BPD, click here. I'll write more about both BPD month and Mental Health Month in the coming days.

Poem - "The Voices"

"The Voices"

Faceless figures haunt me in my sleep.
Their voices tell my head what to think.
I fight, I kick, and I scream,
But I can't deny their existence.
They cut into my flesh,
But I remain numb to their touch.
They want to escape;
I fight to keep them buried inside.
Am I me or really just them in reverse?

~ 4/30/2010

Personality test says I'm like Allison from "Breakfast Club"

I've said several times before here on the blog that I love taking personality quizzes and finding out what they say. Tonight I was using StumbleUpon, and a Celebrity Similarity Test came up. I took it, and the result says that I'm most like Allison from the movie "Breakfast Club."

It says: "Allison is the most socially isolated of the group. She is extremely timid and quiet, saying nothing to the group for several hours. She seems to have no friends, and is in detention because she had nothing better to do with her Saturday. Despite her seeming timidity, she does enjoy getting attention for being offbeat and weird—stealing Andrew’s wallet, and using dandruff as snow on a picture she’s drawn. She doesn’t want to fit in, and is probably the standout social misfit of the group."

Maybe that fits me. I don't know. I have watched that movie a few times, and I guess part of me thought I was similar to her, but I just don't know really.

It also says that I'm very similar to Darth Vadar from "Star Wars," which makes sense because I've heard people say the character may have had borderline personality disorder. Then it says I'm similar to Simon Cowell of "American Idol," which doesn't surprise me at all because I'm brutally honest, and Greg House from "House." I've never really watched "House," but the scenes I have watched always struck me as similar to how my brain works.

If you want to check it out and test yourself, click here.

An Underlying Cause for Psychopaths?

By HealthDay

Mental impairments in psychopaths are similar to those in people with damage to the frontal lobes of the brain, a new study finds.

Callousness and a lack of remorse and empathy are among the personality traits of psychopaths, but the exact cause of these characteristics has been the subject of debate.

In this study, Israeli researchers compared the emotional and cognitive traits and abilities of healthy people, psychopaths, patients with frontal lobe damage, and patients with damage to other areas of the brain.

The found that the pattern of impairments in the psychopaths was remarkable similar to those in patients with frontal lobe damage. This suggests that dysfunction in the frontal lobes may be the underlying cause of the behavioral problems in psychopaths, the researchers concluded.

The study appeared online April 27 in the May issue of the journal Cortex.

Sunshine of Your Life

The Dating Profiles Meme: Sunshine of Your Life

1. friends are the sunshine of your life.
I wish that was my experience. My friends have always been such drama queens that they made my life worse

2. i am an accountant and musician with a wicked sense of humor.
Hopefully he doesn't sing songs about doing taxes

3. all i can say is that i am tired of the games.
Well I'm out. If you won't play Scrabble or UpWords with me, you're out of the picture. haha

4. I spent the last year focusing on me, which is something I hadn't done in a really long time. It's been a lot of fun!
Yep, masturbating can be a lot of fun

5. Am looking for someone that can make me happy and be there for me through thick and thin and that can help me find the treasure that i have lost and will see me through all my ups and down, that is loving caring, understanding, that will respect my opinion and most of all that play the game of love....
... and that will put up with my massive run-on sentences

6. I want love.
Don't we all?

7. Looking for someone to spend quality time with, who respects me for who I am and who is satisfied with the direction that their life is going.
What if I'm going in more than one direction at the same time?


8. Something I haven't done yet that I would like to do is deep sea diving.
Bring me back a puffer fish


9. The thing I am most grateful for is being alive.
Well I'd hope so

10. need some one to make me hole.
Make you an asshole? Perhaps you should add a W to say "whole"

Poem - "Rough Waters"

"Rough Waters"

I'm lost in a sea of pain.
Can't get back to u.
Can't get back to me.
No paddle to steer my boat.
No compass directing me to happiness.
My north star burned out
When the walls caved in.
Going to drown and die alone.
Rough waters.
Waves crash down on me.
I'm going down with this ship,

~ 4/29/2010

I'm no longer "sober"

I had not drank alcohol for 18 months (since October 2008), but I made a decision to drink a little last week and this week. Before October 2008, I hadn't drank since February 2006. I seem to have this pattern of going quite a while without drinking, then deciding to drink a time or two before going on another long sober period.

I'm actually not upset with myself or anything this time. My boyfriend and I went out last Thursday and wound up doing a cheese tasting. I decided to try drinking two really nice raspberry flavored beers of Belgium origin. Then Tuesday, we hung out with my former best friend, and I had two mudslides at Applebees. After the day I had Tuesday, I felt like I deserved a little treat.

I don't think I'll start drinking regularly again, if for no other reason than the fact that I am on Effexor and I worry about the reactions between it and alcohol.

Since I'm in a really musical/therapeutic mood, I'm leaving you with two of my favorite songs, both oddly titled "Sober." The first is Pink's "Sober" and the second is Kelly Clarkson's "Sober."

Songs I'm feeling this week (in no particular order)

1) Slipknot - "Snuff"



2) Kris Allen - "Live Like We're Dying"



3) John Mayer - "Heartbreak Warfare"



4) Script - "Break Even"



5) Kelly Clarkson - "All I Ever Wanted"



6) Selena Gomez - "Naturally"



7) Kutless - "What Faith Can Do"



8) Fee - "Everything Falls"



9) NeedToBreathe - "Something Beautiful"



10) NeedToBreathe - "Washed by the Water"



11) Brandon Heath - "Love Never Fails"



12) Lady Antebellum - "Need You Now"



13) Adam Lambert - "Whataya Want From Me"

Walking in Memphis

Thursday Thunks: Walking in Memphis

1. Robins have red breasts. Why are their eggs blue?
According to all the science classes I used to take, it has something to do with how robins lay eggs in a tree rather than on the ground like chickens

2. The doorbell buzzes at the same moment the phone rings. Who was on the phone?
Probably my boyfriend

3. It seems that there are several very popular memes each day of the week. Which meme did you first become a regular of?
Sunday Stealing

4. It is about time that Berleen and Kimber meet in person. Should we start a collection to fly one of them to the other, or just hope Thom's bus and get from Hawaii to Kimber in Arizona and take her to Berleen in Minnesota?
I always want to be able to teleport myself to another place. I think they just need to become superheroes with the power of teleportation in order to meet each other

5. Tell us about your pets. Do you have one that you wish would run away?
I have two dogs, Oreo and Pearlz... I love them both

6. What was the last thing colored red that you wore?
I don't wear red

7. I have a train that runs by where I live several times a day. I actually find it peaceful. What's the longest journey that you have taken by train?
Never been on a train

8. If Kimber threw a five dollar bill off a building that was five stories high, and Berleen threw a twenty off a build that was six stories high, who do you think would find the money?
Hopefully me

9. If reincarnation really happens, whose life would you like to know that you have already led?
A rich famous model/actress

10. What are your three favorite possessions?
My computer, my car, my house

11. A lot of people still believe that Elvis is alive. Have you ever worn blue suede shoes?
No, I stick to white or black shoes

12. Do you have siblings? If yes, are you anything alike?
I have two brothers, one older and one younger. I'm a lot like my younger brother, and that's ok with me. We both occasionally show similarities to our older brother, and that's not ok with me

13. Has anyone ever asked you to strip naked and cluck like a chicken?
Not at the same time

A third say pets listen better than husbands

By The Associated Press

LOS ANGELES — Husbands, if you end up in the doghouse, consider it a promotion.

A third of pet-owning married women said their pets are better listeners than their husbands, according to an Associated Press-Petside.com poll released Wednesday. Eighteen percent of pet-owning married men said their pets are better listeners than their wives.

Christina Holmdahl, 40, talks all the time to her cat, two dogs or three horses — about her husband, naturally.

“Whoever happens to be with me when I'm rambling,” said Holmdahl, who's stationed with her husband at Fort Stewart in Georgia. “A lot of times, I'm just venting about work or complaining about the husband.”

She thinks everyone should have a pet to talk to like her horse, Whistle, who's been with her since she was 19.

“We all say things we don't mean when we are upset about stuff,” she said. “When we have time to talk it out and rationalize it, we can think about it better and we can calm down and see both sides better.”

It would be a toss-up whether Bill Rothschild would take a problem to his wife of 19 years or the animal he considers a pet — a palm-sized crayfish named Cray Aiken. His daughter brought it home four years ago at the end of a second grade science project.

Rothschild, 44, of Granite Springs, N.Y., considers Cray a better listener than his wife, “absolutely. She doesn't listen worth anything.” He doesn't get much feedback from the crustacean, but it's been a different story over the years with family dogs and cats.

“You definitely feel much more comfortable sharing your problems with them,” he said. “A little lick from a big dog can go a long way.”

Overall, about one in 10 pet owners said they would talk their troubles over with their pets.

The AP-Petside.com poll also found that most people believe their pets are stable and seldom struggle with depression. Just 5 percent of all pet owners said they had taken an animal to a veterinarian or pet psychologist because it seemed down in the dumps. Even fewer said they'd ever given antidepressants to a pet.

But they weren't opposed to the idea: 18 percent of those polled said they were at least somewhat likely to take a pet to a vet or pet psychologist if it was dejected.

When pets become the therapists, the dogs have it. Twenty-five percent of dog owners said their canines listened better than a spouse, while only 14 percent of cat owners chose the feline.

Ron Farber, 55, of Hoxie, Kan., said it's easier to talk to his dog Buddy than his wife because “the dog doesn't have an opinion.”

“I think better out loud. He doesn't care what you say or do. He looks at you, pays attention, you walk through the problem in your mind and eventually, the answer comes. It's not as easy when other people are offering opinions,” he said.

Farber would take Buddy to a vet if he needed help, but “I doubt there's a dog psychologist within 300 miles.”

A pet psychologist is also called a veterinary behaviorist. Veterinarian Karen Sueda, whose office is at the VCA West Los Angeles Animal Hospital is one of 50 certified by the American Veterinary Medical Association.

Most of her canine patients have problems with aggression and anxiety, while her cats' biggest problem is failure to use a litter box, she said.

Karen Manderbachs, 38, has tried drugs for her dog Kensey, a Shiba Inu who is afraid of thunder. “She sits and full body-shakes. She tries to climb the walls, will hide behind the couch. She gets frantic.”

But the first time, the pill didn't take effect in time. The next, “she was so out of it, I couldn't do it again.”

Without thunder, Kensey is fine and listens with the other pets — three dogs and a cat — as Manderbachs talks.

The dogs seldom react, “but if I'm upset, if I cry, they will hover around and try, in their own way, to make it better,” said the 38-year-old from Rocky Mount, N.C.

Sueda, the veterinary behaviorist, said she thinks everyone talks to their animals.

“Pets are great because they provide us with unconditional support. They never talk back, never give us the wrong opinion and they are always there for us,” she said. “As much as we love our spouses or significant others, sometimes they are not there, sometimes they have their own thoughts about how we should deal with situations. And sometimes, especially when it's a husband or male significant other, they want to solve the problem rather than just listening to the problem.”

The AP-Petside.com Poll was conducted April 7-12, 2010, and involved landline and cell phone interviews with 1,112 pet owners nationwide. It has a margin of sampling error of plus or minus 3.3 percentage points.

Brad Pitt

Hi and welcome to our brand new Wednesday Wickedness. We will pick a famous person and pick ten of their quotes. Today we picked Brad Pitt.

1. "I've got a hard time with morals. All I know is what feels right, what's more important to me is being honest about who you are. Morals I get a little hung up on.” Do you ever have a hard time with morals?
Occasionally, mostly when it comes to my boyfriend

2. “Being married means I can [break wind] and eat ice cream in bed.” Do you eat in bed? If yes, what?
No I don't

3. “I phoned my grandparents and my grandfather said 'we saw your movie'. 'Which one?' I said. He shouted 'Betty, what was the name of that movie I didn't like?” What was the last movie you hated and why?
"Marley & Me" because I didn't want the dog to die

4. “We made a plan at school to meet in her garage and kiss. It was like this little business deal. I kissed her and then I ran home.” Did you make 'a plan' the first time you made love or did it just happen?
I had a plan, but he didn't

5. “You must lose everything in order to gain anything.” Have you ever felt that you lost it all? If yes, explain.
Not that I can remember

6. “We did a little training in the beginning, ... But again, these guys aren't supposed to be skilled fighters.” When were you last time that you were in a fight (physical or not)?
My boyfriend and I got into a horrible argument over the weekend

7. “My week consists ... five days out of the seven I've got at least three cars of paparazzi on me that I've got to either lose or whatever.” Have you ever been stalked?
My ex-husband harassed me all the time

8. “I mean, that's the modified self-help version of the psychology, I guess.” Do you believe in 'self help' for problems, or do you prefer therapy?
It depends on what problem it is and what type of personality you have. Self-help works better for me than traditional therapy

9. “Fame is a bitch, man.” Do you agree that fame is lousy or would you love to give it a try? Why?
I'd probably give it a whirl for a while

10. “I have always been somebody that really wants to be married. And I don't know if that's just so I can do it differently than my parents did and prove marriage does work.” Do you believe in forever, as in 'love forever'?
I believe if it's "true love" than it can last forever, but I think most people confuse "true love" with infatuation

Random tidbits of information

New computer
I bought a new laptop yesterday. It was time for a new one. I had the last one for about four years. My new one has a bigger screen, which I like, and a number keypad on the right, which I love. My last one didn't have a keypad, which made data entry hard. I can't wait to enter numbers into mystery shopping reports faster with this computer. It's sure going to take a while to get used to how this keyboard feels though. It's a little different than my last one. I'm so very happy to not have to put up with Windows Vista anymore. Vista is the spawn of Satan. I had problems with it from Day One. This new one has Windows 7.

Is there an app for that?
I always bitch about how much smartphones cost and about how phone companies force you into an expensive data package just to have one. I've refused to buy an iPhone for those reasons. Well I've decided that I'd buy one and pay for a fancy data package if I find out there's an application that allows you to talk into the phone and it will type every word you say, so I could speak my blog entries and then just upload the file straight onto my blog. I want this because all my best blog entries pop up in my head while I'm in bed in the middle of the night or while I'm driving. Whenever I have to chance to type up those blog entries, I don't want to take the time to type them up or I've forgotten half the blog entry.

Updates on my health
For the most part, it seems like my gum disease is taken care of. My top front teeth aren't great because how much the gums receded, and two weeks ago I had to get two minor fillings in a couple teeth in the back of my mouth on the bottom. Also, the birth control seems to have my ovarian cysts mostly in control. My periods are basically normal now, and I'm not bleeding as much in between periods. My gyno wants to keep me on it to see how much more it may help before we look into a hysterectomy.

Two months in a relationship
My boyfriend and I have been together for over two months now. We had our first fight over the weekend. It wasn't a minor fight. This was a big fight. It was a mixture of my borderline tendencies acting up and having PMS. I got upset about somewhat stupid things and went off.

Year without sex
My "fast" from sex officially hit one year last week. When I started it, the fast was only going to be for 100 days but that turned into a full year without intercourse. Depending on your definition of what "sex" actually entails, you might say I broke the fast last month with my boyfriend. Actually my original fast included refraining from even kissing and that went out the window on our first date 2 months ago, but I will say that I have went over a year without sexual intercourse. Now I am going to call off the fast officially.

Dating toast?
A long time ago I set up an account with SpeedDate. Occasionally I get emails about potential matches, but I delete them without looking at them. For some reason, I randomly looked at an email they sent tonight. There wasn't a photo of a man on it. The photo was a piece of toast with a smiley face on it. Does SpeedDate think I'm so undateable that it would really set me up with a piece of toast? Apparently it may be my soulmate. :(


Excited for "Eclipse"
The trailer for "Eclipse" was unveiled last week. It looks awesome, better than the first two movies, so I'm getting all excited. Of course, they made "New Moon" look better in the trailer than "Twilight," but I ended up not liking "New Moon" (well except for all the hot young shirtless Indian boys). I hope I'm not disappointed this time around.

The Gratitude Meme

The Gratitude Meme

1. What are you most grateful for when you first wake up in the morning?
My doggies

2. What are you most grateful for when you go to bed at night?
Same as #1

3. Who is the person who has had the most influence on your life?
My mom

4. Is there someone you'd like to thank for something special they did for you but haven't yet? Take the time to do it in this meme.
I want to think the people who created "Big Bang Theory." It brings me joy


5. Who was your favorite or least favorite teacher? If you could talk to them now, what would you say?
My favorite teacher was my high school government/civics teacher. He was paranoid about everything. He thought Communists or Nazis were going to come capture him. If I talked to him now, I'd tell him to take a Xanax and calm down

6. Do you say grace at mealtime?
Only when I'm with my boyfriend's family

7. Name one thing you take for granted everyday.
Having a job

8. Have you ever looked back at your life and realized that something you thought was a bad thing was actually a blessing in disguise?
Who hasn't?

9. What are the top five things you are most grateful for in your life?
My family, my dogs, my job, my house, my boyfriend

Antidepressants May Improve Heart Health

By HealthDay

A widely used type of antidepressant may help protect cardiovascular health by slowing the clumping of blood platelets, thus reducing the risk of hardening of the arteries and blood clots that can cause heart attack and stroke, U.S. researchers say.

The new study compared 25 depressed patients taking a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) and 25 healthy people who weren't taking an antidepressant. Blood samples were taken at the start of the study and again four and eight weeks later.

At four weeks, the rate of platelet clumping was 95 percent in the healthy volunteers and 37 percent in the patients taking an SSRI. However, platelet clumping in the SSRI-treated patients was higher at eight weeks than at four weeks. This suggests that SSRIs have the greatest effect on platelet clumping in the early stage of treatment, the study authors explained.

The study findings are scheduled to be presented Monday at the American Physiological Society conference, held April 24 to 28 in Anaheim, Calif.

The researchers plan to analyze blood samples taken after 12 weeks and will also conduct a study using a different brand of SSRI.

"The reason we're doing this is to better the lives of depressed patients," study author Dr. Evangelos Litinas, a research associate at the Loyola University Medical Center in Maywood, Ill., said in a news release from the American Physiological Society.

"There is clear evidence that depressed patients have a higher risk of cardiovascular disease, and we want to eliminate that. Since depression can be treated with an SSRI, maybe the cardiovascular disease risk can also be decreased. We want our patients to live longer and happier lives, without depression or the risk of heart problems," Litinas said.

Study finds link between high chocolate consumption and depression

By Los Angeles Times

LOS ANGELES — One need only look at the recent introduction of chocolate Cheerios to fully grasp Americans' fondness for the pulp from cacao beans. Savoring chocolate is normal.

But, researchers said Monday, over-indulging in it could be a marker for depression.

Researchers at UC San Diego and UC Davis examined chocolate consumption and other dietary intake patterns among 931 men and women who were not using antidepressants. The participants were also given a depression screening test. Those who screened positive for possible depression consumed an average of 8.4 servings of chocolate — defined as 1 ounce of chocolate candy — per month. That compared with 5.4 servings per month among people who were not depressed.

Those who scored highest on the mood tests, indicating probably major depression, consumed an average of 11.8 servings per month. The findings were similar among women and men.

When the researchers controlled for other dietary factors that could be linked to mood — such as caffeine, fat and carbohydrate intake — they found only chocolate consumption correlated with mood symptoms.

It's not clear how the two are linked, the authors wrote. It could be that depression stimulates chocolate cravings as a form of self-treatment. Chocolate prompts the release of certain chemicals in the brain, such as dopamine, that produce feelings of pleasure and reward.

There is no evidence, however, that chocolate has a sustained benefit on improving mood. Like alcohol, chocolate may contribute a short-term boost in mood followed by a return to depression or a worsened mood. A study published in 2007 in the journal Appetite found that eating chocolate improved mood but only for about three minutes.

It's also possible that depressed people seek chocolate to improve mood but that the trans fats in some chocolate counteract the impact of Omega-3 fatty acid production in the body, the authors stated in the paper. Omega-3 fatty acids are thought to improve mental health.

Another theory is that chocolate consumption contributes to depression or that some physiological mechanism, such as stress, drives both depression and chocolate craving

“It's unlikely that chocolate makes people depressed,” said Marcia Levin Pelchat, a psychologist who studies food cravings at the Monell Chemical Senses Center in Philadelphia. She was not involved in the new study. “Most people believe the beneficial effects of chocolate are on mood and that they are learned. You eat chocolate, it makes you feel good; and sometime when you're feeling badly it occurs to you, ‘Gee, if I eat some chocolate I might feel better.’ “

Chocolate is popular in North America and the United Kingdom, she said. But in other cultures, different foods are considered pleasure-inducing pick-me-ups.

“In the United States, people consider chocolate really tasty,” she said. “It has a high cultural value. It's an appropriate gift for Valentine's Day. But in China, you might give stuffed snails to someone you really like.”

What are your fears?

What are your fears?

What are your fears about waking up in the morning?
That I'll fail at something during the course of the day

What are your fears about working?
That I'll screw up and get fired and then won't be able to pay bills

What are your fears about riding the bus?
That I'll have to pee in the bus restroom

What are your fears about driving a car?
That I'll get a flat tire and not know how to change it alone

What are your fears about riding a bike?
That I'll lose my balance and hit my head on the concrete

What are your fears about making your own meal?
That I'll get distracted by the TV and burn down the house

What are your fears about making a meal for others?
That I'll burn the food and make the person get sick

What are your fears about romance?
That I'll be a disappointment

What are your fears about friendship?
That I'll open myself up to getting hurt and then get hurt

What are your fears about entering a public restroom?
That someone peed on the floor and it will get on my shoes

What are your fears about using a public restroom?
That I'll get a disease by sitting on a toilet

What are your fears about being in crowds?
That I'll get ran into and fall and get stomped on

Poem - "Not Myself"

"Not Myself"

Cold blood
Broken wing
Blank stare
Shattered heart
Lost hope
Tarnished crown
Unrecognizable reflection
Constant confusion
Not myself

~ 4/26/2010

Project 365, photos 107-109

After church today my boyfriend and I went to one of the nice pizza restaurants in town that has recently went through a major renovation. It now has this huge glowing globe that spins around in the middle of the restaurant.

Here are two random cross photos...

Poem - "Faceless"

"Faceless"

I am just a faceless woman
Just a nobody in the crowd
A lost identity with broken dreams
No hope for happiness
No faith in the future
Just a hole where my heart was

~ 04/25/2010

Project 365 - photos 94-106

I'm sure some of you have noticed that I'm way behind on posting my daily photos. I've been so out of it lately that I haven't taken the time to post them here, but I have been taking the photos.

This one is inspired by the church I've started going to.

I'm really questioning if my Effexor is helping me at all.

Some flowers from my yard.

Saw this in a thrift store.

Random "Love" photo.

More flowers in my yard in the middle of a spring rain.

The map shows the general location of the church I now attend.

Bought this weird cat figurine at the neighborhood thrift store. It creeps my boyfriend out.

Quick pen sketch that my boyfriend did for me.

Make a wish ...

I took my boyfriend lunch one day at his office, and this beauty was growing outside the office door.

I call this photo "Childhood disappointment." They have torn down this McDonalds to rebuild it, and I can imagine there are families who start to go out to eat there only to be disappointed when the building is gone. All that is left right now is the empty frame of the golden arches.

There is an arts festival going on here in downtown Oklahoma City right now. My boyfriend took me to it. This is a closeup of a large sculpture with mice eating cheese. I fell totally in love with it.

2 good weeks for Post Secret

This week's Post Secret cards were just posted, and it's an amazing week. Last week was also amazing, but I was too lost in my own head the last week to ever post my favorites. So here is my favorite cards from this week and last week both in no particular order with a short comment on each one.

1) Sometimes I wish my father would try to make contact with me so we can start to patch up our broken relationship. I'd call him myself, but I can't bring myself to do it


2) I have felt like a failure a lot in the past when I got my period. It was like I was wasting time and eggs. Now I may never get to have a baby in the future. Maybe I wasted all my good years/eggs on periods


3) It really is true, but I'm always afraid I'll pee in bed


4 & 5) Most of my teachers never even handed out stickers. I think that partially led me to really seek out praise for things I did well, but I never felt good enough



6) My mom would probably never say that about a wedding dress I wanted. Of course, I haven't ever tested that theory


7) My loud orgasms make me feel embarrassed when I see my neighbors outside. I live next to a little old couple who are probably shocked and appalled by how loud I scream


8) My relationship with God is rocky, at best, but I do find hope in my experience at church


9) I get these really weird cramps/pain sometimes while I'm close to orgasming. I don't want to talk to a doctor about it, but I really should


10) How do bad people get to be in positions of power? That I will never understand


11) Forgiveness is hard, very hard


12) I wish therapists didn't charge so much. Poor people need help too


13) I know so many people who say they can only go poop if they go in Target or Walmart. I don't get it


14) I've always only been attracted to women who are straight. Sometimes I wish I could do something to convince them to be bisexual too, but it doesn't work that way


15) I'm a little ashamed to admit this, but I once did this with a cucumber my mom had (I was a teenager at the time). I washed it off really really well afterward, but I still felt really horrible when she cut it up and ate it in her salad. She will never know....


16) That's a very good visual depiction of how my emotional baggage feels


17) I've never been on an airplane, but I don't think it would make me any less depressed considering I'm terrified of heights


18) I really think a man who can cook well is sexier than a man who's good in bed


19) The head minister at the church I've been going to thinks that cats are flat-out evil. I don't get why people don't like cats


20) I've never watched "House." Perhaps I should?


21) I thought I was the only one who did that...


22) This is one thing that bothers me about my marriage. I knew he had the signs of an abuser from the beginning, but I stayed with him until the abuse started and even for years after it started


23) Why did I think of that?


24) I used to lie to my ex-husband all the time. He thought I was having problems in the bathroom when I really was just masturbating


25) I dream about a public confrontation with my ex-husband, in which I'd beat the living shit out of him


26) I like to tell my friends and my mom all the details of my sexual encounters, and we often make fun of how small the guy's penis was or how bad his rhythm was, etc.