Mature audiences only

OnePlusYou Quizzes and Widgets

You have no doubt seen or heard the commercials: "Where does depression hurt? EVERYWHERE. Who does depression hurt? EVERYONE." Mental illnesses can consume you, take over your entire life and hurt everyone around you if you let it. I am no exception.

My life feels like I am stuck riding on a rollercoaster in the middle of a hurricane. I have ups and downs, and I have left a path of destruction in my wake. My sanity dangles on a tiny fragile string, and through this blog I am giving the world a look into my broken mind and my unstable life.

In the end, I am just a girl trying to maintain my sanity in a candy-coated world of misery. Here you'll get a glimpse at just how true those commercials are. Keep your arms and legs inside the blog at all times, hold on tight, and prepare yourself for a very bumpy ride ...

Feel free to comment here on the blog or email me at bpdokc@yahoo.com.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Generic Effexor XR Approved

Note from Jennifer: Since I take Effexor, I'm very very happy about this development...


By HealthDay


The first generic version of Effexor extended release capsules (venlafaxine hydrochloride) to treat major depressive disorder has been approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration.

Prescribing information for the generic version of Effexor XR may differ from that of the brand name drug because of various patents held by the brand name drug's maker, Wyeth Pharmaceuticals, the FDA said in a news release. But the same safety warnings will apply.

The generic version will be manufactured by Teva Pharmaceuticals, based in Wales, Penn.

The drug's label includes a warning that antidepressants may raise the risk of suicidal thoughts or tendencies among some children, teens and young adults, the agency said.

Monday, June 28, 2010

The friggin F word

For each answer, see how many words that start with "F" that you can use (without having to use THE F-word).You can use other words but, make sure at least one word in each answer starts with the letter "F". Have fun!

1. What's your favorite kind of pizza?
The fun-to-eat, fabulous Mac & Cheese pizza at CiCi's Pizza


2. What is the best day of the week and why?
Any day but Friday. Friday's are horrible for journalists

3. If you were to go to McDonald's for lunch, what would you order?
A Big Mac, which is full of fabulous fat, for me and French Fries for the dogs

4. The phone rings and you're in a bad mood. You answer it and it's a telemarketer. What do you say?
"Take my friggin' phone number off your list"

5. You're driving down the street, attempting to keep a safe distance between you and the person in front of you, some loud little car cuts in front of you. What do you do?
Try to forget it happened before I go freaking crazy before I put my foot up their fat ass

6. It's 95 degrees (35c) and the humidity makes it intolerable. Your friend who is vacationing for the month at a beach side home calls and asks you what your weather is like. What do you say?
"So freakin' hot that I can fry an egg on the concrete"

7. What happened to you or what have you done in the past week, that you would never want anyone else to have to go through?
Friday night at the "Dark Tower" (my office)

8. What would have rather been doing this past weekend?
Floating in a pool for hours

9. What visions (as in people) would you rather not have to look at in the summer?
Freaks that frequent Walmart



10. This is the socialite better known as "The Cat Lady." She found her millionaire hubby cheating on her and divorced him in 1999. They say that since then she has reportedly spent $4 million on plastic surgery.


In 20 words or more, using as many "F" words as possible, write a short paragraph on the above.
The freaky female with the fake feline face has forked out too many Benjamin Franklins on plastic surgery because her marriage failed. Some time in the future, she'll probably file for bankruptcy because her finances have flatened out. Her face is nothing but a fraud, and she's a fool. That much stupidity should be fatal

Okay...so Einstein wants to know, as do we, how many "F" words did you use without have to use "The F-word"?
Forty-three

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Photo scavenger hunt

I found a photo scavenger hunt challenge on Cookingmom's blog, and I thought I'd try it in addition to the Project 365 photos I'm doing. It's actually a Facebook challenge, but I'll do it here. It may actually help me think of photos to take for Project 365 on the days when I am having a creative block, which is the main reason I want to do it...

On your Facebook profile, go to pictures and create a Scavenger Hunt photo. Whenever you take a picture of one of the items, upload it to that photo and label it. All items are up to interpretation; there are no right or wrong kind of pictures! Some items are easy, some a little harder, and some kind of difficult. Only real rule is that pictures must be new; you can't grab them from previous albums! There is no deadline; this is just for fun!

1. Dog
2. Cat
3. Sunflower
4. Concert t-shirt
5. Water
6. Sand
7. Crab
8. Uniform
9. Mannequin
10. Shell
11. Boat
12. Swings
13. Dancing
14. Music
15. Chocolate
16. Lipstick
17. Movie poster
18. Tree
19. Road sign
20. Spiderweb
21. Feather
22. Dandelion
23. Bug
24. Sunset
25. Bird
26. Feet
27. Graffiti
28. Old building
29. Beach ball
30. Kite
31. Balloon
32. Heart
33. Clown
34. Happy
35. Something gray
36. The Beatles
37. Relaxed
38. Angry
39. Car with stripes
40. Something that begins with Q
41. Ice cream
42. Jewelry
43. Book
44. Pick-up truck
45. Phone
46. Batman
47. Lemons
48. Technology
49. Pinecone
50. Something that begins with Z
51. Gas
52. Soda
53. Tear
54. Weather
55. Friend
56. Family
57. Blue tongue
58. Taco
59. Mailbox
60. Rock

Post secret did it again ....

There were four Post Secret cards from this week's post that really caught my eye yet again. Sometimes it feels like someone is reading my brain and putting my secrets on postcards and sending them in for me.





The Eighty Meme, Part One

Sunday Stealing: The Eighty Meme, Part One

1. What curse word do you use the most?
Fuck

2. Do you own an iPod?
Nope

3. What person do you talk to on the phone the most?
It's about an even mix between my mom and my boyfriend

4. Do you still remember the first person you kissed?
Yep, but we don't talk anymore

5. Do you remember where you were on 9/11/01?
I was at college asleep in bed when the attack happened, and I found out about it as soon as I got to my first class, which ended up being canceled

6. What was the last movie you watched?
"Remember Me," which ironically was about September 11th

7. Has anyone ever called you lazy?
Only everyone in my life

8. Do you ever take medication to help you fall asleep?
Yep. I take the generic of Sonata

9. Has anyone told you a secret this week?
My boyfriend keeps hanging around his house naked all the time this week. Apparently the heat has made clothing optional for him

10. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Typically either his eyes or lips

11. What are you looking forward to?
Going to sleep

12. Do you own any band t-shirts?
Nope

13. What will you be doing in one hour?
Shopping at CVS

14. Is anyone in love with you?
Isn't everyone in love with me? *wink*

15. Last time you cried?
A couple days ago. The damn womanly hormones in my body went crazy

16. Are you on a desktop computer or a laptop?
Desktop at the moment

17. Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos?
Nope

18. Would you ever date anyone covered in tattoos?
How "covered" are you talking? If it's like this guy, HELL NO...


19. What were you doing before this?
Doing journalist-related crap

20. When is the last time you slept on the floor?
I dozed off at my boyfriend's house on the floor a couple weeks ago

21. How many hours of sleep do you need to function?
At best, I get about 4 hours of sleep total a night, even with sleeping pills

22. Do you eat breakfast daily?
I almost never eat breakfast. If I had to guess I may eat breakfast 15 days in an entire year. The reason for this is I work nights and don't go to bed until 3 or 4 a.m., meaning I normally don't get out of bed earlier enough to eat a real breakfast

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Eating with an anorexic child: A controversial treatment

By Chicago Tribune

War broke out on the day Rina Ranalli and her husband told their 12-year-old anorexic daughter the strict new house rules: three meals and three snacks a day.

Initially, their bright and previously sweet-natured girl cried, screamed insults and raged. She threw things. Punched holes in the wall. And she pretended to eat while plotting ways to hide the food. But when the seventh-grader realized her parents had her trapped — they would sit with her 24/7 if they had to — she ventured down the only available path. She began eating.

Chicago's Ranalli family was using the little-known Maudsley Approach, a grueling but evidence-based treatment for adolescents suffering from the eating disorder anorexia nervosa. The approach, also called “family-based therapy,” flips conventional treatment on its head.

Often parents are advised to put their starving child in therapy or residential treatment, distance themselves to preserve the teen's independence, and wait for the day the child decides to resume eating.

But under Maudsley, parents immediately start the daunting task of “re-feeding” their malnourished child. Once weight is restored — and, theoretically, rational thinking returns because the brain has some nourishment — parents step back, and control over eating is gradually returned to the child. The final phase of treatment is the initial step in traditional therapy; it addresses the underlying psychological issues that may have caused the disorder.

Critics of the approach say forcing adolescents to relinquish their power over food can exacerbate underlying control issues. They question whether Maudsley teaches children how to eat intuitively. And they wonder whether parents are equipped for the harrowing and relentless task of getting a child to finally eat.

But Maudsley has something other remedies for anorexia do not: A small body of clinical evidence suggesting that most adolescent patients respond favorably after relatively few treatment sessions. For parents, it's a glimmer of hope for a serious illness still lacking a gold-standard treatment.

“If you just Google ‘eating disorder' and ‘anorexia' you feel like you've been handed a death sentence,” said Ranalli, whose already slender daughter (whom they didn't want named) lost 16 pounds in six weeks. “You cry a lot. Maudsley reassures you that it's not your fault and empowered us; we were part of the solution.”

Anorexia is unusual in that sufferers often see the illness as an ally. They have a morbid fear of fatness and think about food obsessively; they may cook extravagant meals for others or longingly gaze at food in the grocery store. But they don't eat.

Social isolation is common. When 26-year-old Emily Troscianko made the decision to eat more after living with her anorexia for 10 years, “it felt like I was bidding good-bye to my closet, most loyal friend,” wrote Troscianko, the author of the Psychology Today blog “The Hunger Artist.”

The disorder runs in families and is associated with perfectionism, said Dr. Walter Kaye, the director of the eating disorder treatment and research program at the University of California, San Diego.

“Those with anorexia tend to pay precise attention to detail. They want to do things right. They're achievement oriented and have advantages in engineering, medicine and academics,” said Kaye, whose research focuses on the brain and eating behavior. “Perhaps the illness is caused by an excessive load of traits, puberty and hormones, environment or stress. We're still trying to figure it all out.”

Eating disorders are difficult to treat in part because they're hard to study. They're still relatively rare — affecting an estimated 2 percent of U.S. women and 1 percent of men — and it's not easy recruiting research subjects, who rarely want to be treated in the first place.

Just five randomized, controlled studies have examined the treatment of anorexia in adolescents, according to Dr. Daniel Le Grange, director of the eating disorders center at the University of Chicago Medical Center. Four of the five published studies include family-based therapy, or the Maudsley Approach.

Though the studies are small, they indicate that early treatment with Maudsley boosts a child's chance of getting a handle on the illness. Maudsley has also been found to be effective for those who don't yet have full-blown anorexia but are teetering on the edge.

“A weight gain of 3 to 4 pounds in the first month of treatment gives an 80 percent certainty of good outcome,” said Le Grange, a professor of psychiatry and behavioral neuroscience who helped develop the approach at London's Maudsley Hospital and brought the treatment to the U.S.

The success rate drops considerably for children who don't quickly gain weight during treatment. But Le Grange argues that given Maudsley's promising results — and limited comparative data — the family-based treatment should be the first-line intervention instead of an alternative for adolescents who qualify for outpatient care.

“To be really honest with families we should say: ‘We only have one treatment. There is a fair amount of evidence and it's what you should start with,“’ Le Grange said. “If clinicians are not willing to do that, then we have to agree we're just improvising.”

After Ranalli's daughter was diagnosed in February of 2009, the family spent seven months using more traditional methods, including a therapist and nutritionist. “It was painfully slow,” said Ranalli. “So much is left back to the adolescent, waiting for them to come along.”

Maudsley generally involves 20 sessions over a six- to 12-month period. No one shoulders the blame, and families learn to separate the illness from the child. It's not that the child won't eat; it's that the illness has taken over and won't let them.

“The disease is calling the shots, starving her, making her depressed, obsessive, unable to sleep and compulsively exercise, so parents do need to take control,” said Jane Cawley co-founder of the support group Maudsley Parents. “It seems awful and strange — like you're making your kid suffer — but the whole goal was to get her back in charge of her life.”

Family meals are a crucial component of the process. The first takes place with a therapist present to help coach. After that, families are in charge of feeding their child an astonishingly high number of calories a day — often twice what a healthy person would need — to get the weight back on.

Rather than emotional pleas, parents are asked to use empathic but firm declarative statements, such as “I'm no longer going to let you starve,' ‘This is your medicine' and ‘I won't give up,' said Dr. Katharine Loeb, an associate professor in the school of psychology at Fairleigh Dickinson University. She is also director of the eating and weight disorders program at the Mount Sinai School of Medicine.

During this challenging first phase, normal life stops until the sufferer eats. Parents may quit jobs, take leaves, cancel all social engagements. It's lonely and exhausting for everyone.

“It's a matter of wills,” said Ranalli, who ate lunch with her daughter at school to make sure the girl wasn't throwing the food away. “As a parent you are stating, ‘I'm not leaving, I'm not caving, I'm not negotiating. We are not leaving this table until you eat.’

“God, we went through a lot,” she added. “But you'd do the same in a heartbeat if your child had cancer.”

For 18-year-old Nate Schnur of Wheaton, Ill., who was diagnosed with anorexia in August of 2009 — a week before he was to leave for college — the family meal was a watershed moment. During the lunch, a therapist told him he wouldn't be able to exercise until his weight was restored. Schnur, who worked out compulsively, began to cry.

“The exercise component was Nathan's form of bulimia,” said Schnur's mother, Jacqui. “Taking that away from him was our way of 're-feeding' him in a sense.”

The morning after his first family meal, Schnur said he woke up, “freaked out for half an hour” and then ate pancakes. He gained 30 pounds in three weeks — eating mostly fast food — and is in the final phase of Maudsley.

“I didn't want to worry anymore; I just wanted to enjoy my food,” said Schnur, who is headed to Loyola University in the fall. “I was always thinking about how much I could eat or not. But once I started eating, I really noticed how my mind didn't focus on food and working out.”

Some critics of Maudsley question the long-term effectiveness of such a controlling approach, especially with teens. “Taking food completely out of their control could give message they can't be trusted or can't trust themselves, which might be problematic long term,” said Jennifer Schurman, a counselor at the Awakening Center in Chicago who specializes in eating disorders.

And Maudsley isn't the answer for everyone. It's virtually impossible if parents don't agree on the approach. Families who use it often say they need more guidance, support and resources, especially in a single-parent household.

And even when there's success, as with the Ranalli family, making peace with food is an ongoing process.

“I still have body issues,” the Ranallis' daughter said while sipping a light coffee Frappuccino at a Chicago Starbucks. “But the thing that has really changed is that I like food again.”

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Project 365 - photos 152-156

This first photo is just an expression of how I won't let my weight or a diet determine how I feel about myself. I may be a plus size woman, but I love my body. Anyone who has a problem with larger people can kiss my jiggly ass...



My boyfriend and I found this wooden cross last week at the thrift store around the corner. I'm seeking out a bunch of crosses like this for a massive art project. The flowers are on a bush in my backyard.



I had to call in sick to work on Monday because I was sick as hell. Every time I moved, I felt like vomiting. I'm still not feeling totally back to normal. I laid in this spot on the couch all day trying to move as little as humanly possible. Oreo kept me company on the couch the entire time.



This is Pearlz with a visual representation of how I've felt this week... totally exhausted and looking beat up...



My roof is finally starting to get worked on following the damage that the hailstorm did last month. This morning Pearlz and Oreo overcame their differences to take on a common enemy... the loud roofing crew.



Sunday, June 20, 2010

Voices, voices, and more voices

Voices.

Yes, I hear voices.

I hear LOTS of voices.

For as long as I can remember, I've heard voices in my head. Thinking back, it probably started because I was the middle child and only girl in a family with an abusive father and a mother who I'm 100% positive had borderline personality disorder even though she was never diagnosed with it. I think I created voices in my head to keep me company while my parents were fighting in the other room and my brothers were ignoring me because I was a girl.

Over the years, the voices have only multiplied and got worse overall. Today it feels like there are 50 or so TVs in my head all on at once. Some of them have voices that carry on conversations amongst themselves. A few of them are just loud static all the time. Some of them have voices that talk to me. Sometimes I talk back to them. Sometimes they get mad at each other and yell at each other. Sometimes they get mad at me and yell at me.

Some of the voices are different aspects of me... like divisions of my personality. Most of them are the voices of people I know in real life... like family members, friends, coworkers, ex-boyfriends, my ex-husband, etc. Some of them are celebrities or fictional characters from TV shows or movies. Even this blog has its own voice in my head. And then there are some that are unknown voices that I can't recognize.

I'd say at any given moment, I hear approximately 40 voices in my head. Sometimes I can zero in on a specific voice, but most of the time I can't. It's why I can not sleep without sleeping medicine... I can't shut the voices off long enough for my brain to fall asleep.

It's also why I can not do yoga or meditation. Therapists and doctors have recommended yoga and meditation time and time again over the years, but I can not clear my head enough to relax for that.

Sometimes I have conversations with a voice in my head of someone I know in real life and think I had the conversation with the real person instead of just the voice. I talk to the voice in my head that is my mom's voice all the time, so much so that I have to constantly ask her "Did I tell you about ...?" when I'm talking to her on the phone. I can't separate reality from what happens in my mind. I never know who I've really told stuff to and who I've just talked to inside my mind.

I've learned some things that help drown out some of the voices... like listening to a song over and over again really loudly or watching a TV show or movie and making myself get really into the story ... basically anything that I can focus in on and push the voices back for a little while. I used to drink alcohol a lot to drown out the voices, but that just led to other problems. Sometimes cutting myself would relieve myself of the voices for a little while too, but that also came with other problems.

Most days I can easily deal with the voices. I'm just used to them being there. I've never found a medicine that helps take them away, so I just learned how to deal with them. But if I go several nights without getting much sleep or if there is some added stress in my life, it becomes very hard to deal with the voices. That's when they start yelling at me. When they're screaming at me, it's hard to do my work duties because I can't concentrate on anything other than the voices yelling at me in my head, and you can't really explain that to your boss... "Sorry, I can't come into work today because the voices are screaming at me..."

It's odd that I've been talking about the voices so much lately with people. I've talked to my mom and brother, my boyfriend, and even coworkers about the voices. I used to hide the fact that I heard voices. Most people automatically write you off as "crazy" if you say you hear voices in your head.

I've been missing out on a lot of sleep in the last several weeks because every house in my neighborhood has been getting work done to them... new roofs, new windows, etc. The hailstorm last month damaged every house in the area in one way or another. So now there are roofing crews and utility workers around every single morning. I don't get home from work until 1 a.m. or later most days, and I don't go to bed until 3 or 4 a.m., and the damn crews wake me up starting at 8 a.m. with their hammering or drilling. And of course, my dogs feel the need to bark at them all day long so that adds to the fact that I can't sleep. Sleeping pills may help me fall asleep, but nothing helps me sleep through constant hammering and barking.

Also, my job has gotten increasingly stressful since they did layoffs. Then there are many other anxieties in my life. So lately the voices are pretty bad, and they just keep getting worse. For some reason, they've gotten even more worse since my younger brother has admitted to me that he hears voices in his head too. Knowing that he is going through the same thing I go through is really killing me. I'd honestly take all of his voices away from him and put them in my own head if I could just so he wouldn't have to deal with this too.

It's getting bad enough to make me think my brain is cracking up again. I really don't want to have another big breakdown, but it may be coming.

Ironically though, even if I could find a "cure" to get rid of the voices, I'm not sure I'd want it. I don't know how to live without hearing voices.

Why my father wasn't at my wedding....

Today is Father's Day, which of course means that the Post Secret post for this week was all about fathers. The happy ones made me want to cry. Most days I'm happy that I no longer have contact with my abusive father, but sometimes I still wish I had a daddy. I sometimes hurt still because I wasn't one of the lucky people with a loving father.

To all the good fathers in the world who do not abuse their children... Happy Father's Day.

Two of the cards were really applicable for my own life. This first one is why my ex-husband and I got married by a judge at a courthouse instead of having a big wedding with our family and friends. I dreamed of having a big wedding all my life, but I could not stand the idea of an abusive father walking me down the aisle. I know that if I planned a big wedding and tried to say I didn't want him to walk me down the aisle, it would have caused a huge fight between everyone, so I just went to the courthouse.


The second one spoke to me because I think some women who grow up with good loving fathers take it all for granted. I think it takes a situation where you don't have that for you to fully realize how much you need a father. Even my mom took for granted how great her father was until the day he died and she suddenly realized how much he meant to her.


The Oh My! Meme, Part One

Sunday Stealing: The Oh My! Meme, Part One

1. The phone rings; who don't you want it to be?
My boss asking me to come in on my day off

2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?
If there's one of the cart corral things near my car, I'll put it in there. If there isn't one near, I just leave it in the middle of a parking space. Yes, I am one of THOSE people

3. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener?
Listener

4. What was the last compliment that someone gave you?
My boss complimented me on a page I designed at the newspaper. She said I was very "resourceful"

5. Do you play the lottery?
I love getting scratcher tickets sometimes, and I buy Powerball tickets when the jackpot gets really high

6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, who would you want with you?
Angus MacGyver. Yes I know he's a fictional character, but he can survive any situation

7. Do you like to ride horses?
It's been so long since I rode one that I can't even remember what it was like

8. Did you ever go to camp as a kid?
My parents didn't have enough money to send me to camps. The closest thing I ever went to was vacation Bible schools, which were free and only lasted four hours a day for five days

9. What is your favorite party game?
Scattergories


10. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was married, would you go for it?
I seriously doubt it

11. When was the last time that you lied?
When I answered #10

12. Could you date someone with different religious beliefs than you?
I am a protestant Christian, and I married an atheist. It is one of the main reasons we're divorced now. I will never again go for someone with that different of beliefs

13. If you have a S/O, who pursued who? If not, do you like to pursue or be pursued?
I liked my current boyfriend for a couple years. I used to try to subtly flirt with him, but it never worked. Finally I just had to ask him out.

14. Use six words to describe yourself.
Female, crazy, moody, tired, Oklahoman, hungry

15. Name a song that could make you cry?
Carrie Underwood's "Temporary Home" makes me cry every time I listen to it



16. Are you pleased with your education?
No, I want to go back to college and pursue a degree in psychology, and I want to become a therapist to help other people

17. How do you feel about gun control?
I think it should be much more difficult to get guns. I think we need much stricter laws

18. If your house was on fire, what thing would be the first thing you grabbed?
My dogs

19. How often do you have a romantic weekend?
My boyfriend and I go out on romantic dates a few times a month

20. Do you think more about the past, present or future?
Past

21. What was the last adult magazine that you have read?
Does "Maxim" count? If so, last night

22. What are you told about your eyes?
I'm constantly told that my eyes are like open books. If you want to know how I really feel about something, just look in my eyes. That's why I always avoid eye contact

23. How tall is just right?
Just right for what???

24. Where is your dream house located?
Somewhere there isn't tornadoes, hurricanes, severe snow/ice storms, or earthquakes. Basically I want to live in an ideal location that only has one season. I don't think that location exists

25. Do you have a secret fetish?
Yes and I'll leave it a secret

26. Have you tried bourbon? If yes, what type?
I probably have, but I have no idea what type it was

27. Have you ever seen a male or female stripper?
I've seen female strippers once. For my birthday in 2008, my boyfriend at the time took me to a strip club. It was actually my idea because I had never been to one. A few months later the strip club burned to the ground in a fire. Go figure...

28. When was the last time you were at TGI Fridays?
A couple weeks ago my boyfriend and I took our friend/ex-coworker to TGI Fridays because she sent me a text saying the Jack Daniels grilled meat on their commercial looked good, and it made me hungry for their food. So I offered to take her there

29. When was the last time you were at Church?
Three Sundays ago. My boyfriend and I have been going to church on Sundays, but the last two Sundays we haven't made it there

30. Where was the furthest place you traveled today?
So far, I haven't left the house

31. What was your favorite job?
Working for the last newspaper I worked for. It was a smaller community newspaper, and I had much more freedom on what I did. I now work for a corporate-type newspaper

32. What condiments do you like at your BBQ?
Ketchup and sweet barbecue sauce

33. Bud is hosting Thursday Thunks this week. Will you play?
I play most weeks. Sometimes I'm too lazy to do it

34. Do you look like your mom or dad?
I look like an even combination of both

35. Who was the last person that you showered with (it's okay to leave out the name)?
That ex-boyfriend who took me to the strip club. He came into the shower with me without asking me if it was ok

Is Exercise the Best Drug for Depression?

By TIME

At his research clinic in Dallas, psychologist Jasper Smits is working on a somewhat unorthodox treatment for depression. It is not yet widely accepted, but his treatment is free and has no side effects. Compare that with antidepressant drugs, which cost Americans $10 billion each year and have many common side effects: sleep disturbances, nausea, tremors, changes in body weight.

This intriguing new treatment? It's nothing more than exercise.

That physical activity is crucial to good health - both mental and physical - is nothing new. As early as the 1970s and '80s, observational studies showed that Americans who exercised were not only less likely to be depressed than those who did not, but were also less likely become depressed in the future.

In 1999, Duke University researchers demonstrated in a randomized controlled trial that depressed adults who participated in an aerobic exercise plan improved as much as those treated with sertraline, the drug that was marketed as Zoloft, and was earning Pfizer more than $3 billion annually before its patent expired in 2006.

Subsequent trials have repeated these results, showing again and again that patients who undergo aerobic exercise regimens see comparable improvement in their depression as those treated with medication, and that both groups do better than patients given only a placebo. But exercise trials on the whole have been small and most have run only for a few weeks; some are plagued by methodological problems. Still, despite limited data, the trials all seem to point in the same direction: Exercise boosts mood. It not only relieves depressive symptoms, but appears to prevent them from recurring.

"I was really surprised that more people weren't working in this area when I got into it," says Smits, an assistant professor of psychology at Southern Methodist University.

Molecular biologists and neurologists have also begun to show that exercise may alter brain chemistry in much the same way that antidepressant drugs do - regulating the key neurotransmitters serotonin and norepinephrine. At the University of Georgia, neuroscience professor Philip Holmes and colleagues have shown that over the course of several weeks, exercise can switch on certain genes that increase the brain's level of galanin, a peptide neurotransmitter that appears to tone down the body's stress response by regulating another brain chemical, norepinephrine.

The result is that exercise primes the brain to show less stress in response to new stimuli. In the case of lab rats and mice, that stimuli include being plunged into very cold water or being suspended by the tail. And while those are not exactly problems that most people face, the thinking is that the human neurochemical response may well react similarly, with exercise leaving our brain less susceptible to stress in the face of harmless but unexpected events, like a missed appointment or getting a parking ticket. A little bit of mental strain and excess stimulation from exercise, in other words, may help us to keep day-to-day problems in perspective.

Researchers also wonder whether this interaction between body and brain may, evolutionarily speaking, be hard-wired. "It occurs to us that exercise is the more normal or natural condition, and that being sedentary is really the abnormal situation," Holmes says.

Humans (and lab rats) never evolved to be cooped up, still, all day long. Our brains simply may not be built for an environment without physical activity. Research has also suggested that exercise may be an effective treatment not just for depression, but also against related anxiety disorders and even substance dependence.

Other scientists have found that, in mammals, exercise also boosts the production of brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF), a substance that supports the growth and maintenance of brain cells. In depressed patients, BDNF has been shown to help repair brain atrophy, which can lift symptoms of the disease.

Back in Dallas, Smits says his exercise treatment appeals to patients for two main reasons. First, exercise doesn't carry the same stigma among patients (and some providers) that depression medication and psychotherapy do. Second, the mood-enhancing benefits of exercise can kick in fast - a lot faster than, say, its impact on weight loss or cardiovascular health. "By and large, for most people, when they exercise 30 minutes - particularly when it's a little bit more demanding, and they get their heart rate up - they feel better," Smits says. "You get an immediate mood lift."

That effect doesn't reflect the longer-term changes in the brain that Holmes studies. But Smits uses the immediate mood boost as a way to motivate patients with depression (which, of course, manifests in a chronic lack of motivation) to get moving. Instead of a barrier to exercise, Smits suggests, depression becomes a reason to exercise. "You feel crappy, so you get on the treadmill, and you look back and you say, 'Wow I feel much better,'" he says.

Yet for all the potential clinical benefits, the big questions about exercise treamtent remain unanswered: How much? How long? In which patients? In their recent book for therapists, Exercise for Mood and Anxiety Disorders (Oxford University Press, 2009), Smits and co-author Michael Otto at Boston University suggest precise exercise doses that they hope will aid psychologists and primary-care doctors in prescribing exercise as treatment, which can be administered in combination with other treatments, of course.

Smits and Otto recommend the familiar 30 minutes of moderate-intensity aerobic exercise, like walking, five times per week, or 30 minutes of high-intensity aerobic exercise three times a week. These doses, which are regularly recommended for physical fitness, are the only ones that have been well tested for depression. "But we can't say at this point that more wouldn't be better," Smits says. "Or maybe less would be better. We really don't know." Too few tests have been run. It is also unclear whether anaerobic exercise, like weight lifting, would have the same mood-lifting effects - or whether exercise works as well in severely depressed patients as it does in sufferers of mild or moderate depression.

For now, then, data on exercise are only suggestive. The clinical literature on antidepressant drugs is massive, since large-scale, rigorous studies are required for market approval from the Food and Drug Administration (FDA). The trials on exercise have all been smaller, perhaps in part because it needs no government approval. "If you look at FDA standards [for evidence], it's not clear that exercise would meet that standard," says James Blumenthal, the Duke University professor of medical psychology who ran Duke's 1999 exercise study, as well as a 2007 follow-up with more than 200 patients, which Blumenthal believes is the largest-ever such trial to date.

But the evidence is mounting, and it's hard to argue with a free treatment that is exempt from side effects for a pervasive and debilitating mental health scourge - especially when so many other health benefits of exercise are incontrovertible. "I think that we have reason to be optimistic. For people who at least want to consider exercise as a possible treatment, and for whom exercise is safe, it's definitely worth a shot," Blumenthal says.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Project 365, photo 151 ... I'm cracking up

The voices in my head are getting worse lately. It's making me start to feel like my mind is cracking up again. I'll explain that more sometime soon. This photo represents that feeling and the fact that the hailstorm last month cracked the concrete in my backyard.



Jumping Someone Else's Train

Saturday 9: Jumping Someone Else's Train

1. When was your last train ride?
I've never been on a train

2. How many foreign countries have you visited? Tell us about one.
Never been outside of the United States

3. What do you always take with you on vacation?
My dogs and my cell phone

4. Tell us about something you've lost recently.
I'm constantly losing pens. I'll be writing with it one minute, then I'll set it down, then suddenly it will be gone. I don't know how I lose them

5. Do you prefer action packed vacations or relaxing ones?
Relaxing ones

6. How long will you wait in a check out line before abandoning your purchases?
I normally shop when there aren't lines, like at 1 a.m. If there are lines, I normally will only wait 15 minutes before I leave the store, unless there's something I really need like toilet paper

7. How old do you wish you were?
19, I wish I could go back and redo my college years without my borderline personality disorder being in control of my mind

8. Do you consider yourself kind?
I can be sometimes. Other times I am a major bitch

9. Tell us about your tattoos. Or if you had to get a tattoo, where and what would it be?
I don't have any tattoos. Why would I ever have to get a tattoo?

Friday, June 18, 2010

7-year-old schizophrenic

My boyfriend and I got the last third of "Oprah" last night. It was an episode about a 7-year-old girl suffering from schizophrenia. I'm sure it's an old episode, but I hadn't ever seen it before. I couldn't imagine what the girl goes through or what her family has to deal with. I wanted to share the story with you guys, in case any of you are interested. Click here if you want to see the story on Oprah's website ...


The 7-Year-Old Schizophrenic
Oprah.com

A child's imagination has no bounds. Some boys and girls pretend to be astronauts and mermaids. Others run alongside imaginary friends. But, for a few children around the world, the mind conjures hallucinations that never go away. At times, these make-believe visions even lead to violent behavior.

Michael and Susan Schofield know all too well how mental illness can affect a child's life. Their 7-year-old daughter, Jani, has been diagnosed with one of the most severe cases of childhood schizophrenia Jani's doctors say they've ever seen.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, schizophrenia is a chronic, disabling brain disorder that may cause a person to hear voices and misinterpret reality. In some cases, schizophrenic patients believe people are plotting to harm them, which causes extreme agitation or depression.

Jani may be younger than most people with schizophrenia, but she battles the same demons. In her case, hallucinations take the form of imaginary children and animals. There's a little girl named 24 Hours, a rat named Wednesday, and a cat named 400 who tells her to do bad things.

Over the years, Michael, a college English professor, says he's met more than 200 different cats, rats, dogs, birds and little girls that only his daughter can see.
Michael and Susan say they knew something was different about their baby girl from the day Jani was born. They sensed Jani was smarter than most children, but they couldn't explain her bizarre sleeping habits. "Most newborns sleep at least 16 hours a day, but Jani only slept 20 minutes at a time," Michael says. "And no more than four hours in a day."

Now, when Jani's parents look back at home videos, Michael says they notice signs that something darker was going on inside their daughter's mind, even when she was a toddler.

As Jani got older, she required constant stimulation, and at times, she stared off in the distance at things that weren't really there. Michael says Jani also wanted people to call her names like Blue-Eyed Tree Frog and Jani Firefly, which he chalked up to a remarkable imagination.

Then, when Jani was 2 years old, her imaginary friends began showing up. "While lots of kids have make-believe friends, Jani's became constant companions," Michael says. "It was when her hallucinations turned violent that we knew that something was terribly wrong."
Jani was 5 years old when her behavior went from temperamental to dangerous.

"She would scratch until she drew blood. She bit until she drew blood. She would try to run her nails down my face to try and scratch my eyes out," Michael says. "Then, seconds later, she was back to being sweet again."

Jani explained to her parents that imaginary animals named Wednesday and 400 were telling her to hit. If she didn't do it, she said they would scratch and bite her until she did.

When things got really bad, Susan, a stay-at-home mom, says Jani would try to hurt herself. "I remember she was so upset, she was choking herself," she says. "[She was] holding her hands around her neck, and she's like, 'How can I break my own neck?'"

Once, Jani's parents punished her by sending her to her room. When they went to check on her, Michael says they found her trying to jump out of her bedroom window.

This was the first year of life as Michael and Susan now know it. "The violence got so bad in year five that we had to hospitalize her," Michael says. "She's been in the hospital more than she's been home this year."

While in the hospital, doctors diagnosed Jani. Finally, Michael says he and Susan had a name for the enemy that threatened to destroy their family. "Its name was schizophrenia," he says.
From January to August 2009, Jani was admitted to the hospital three times, spending a total of 174 days in UCLA Medical Center's psychiatric ward.

Her psychiatrist, Dr. Mark DeAntonio, says it's very unusual for a child Jani's age to have this kind of mental illness. "I've seen only really a handful of children in my 20 years that fit this kind of diagnosis," he says. "This kind of alternate reality that she lives in—that's very scary. That's very disturbing."

Year after year, Jani's hallucinations change and evolve, but all the cats and rats have one thing in common...they live on an imaginary island Jani calls Calalini. This island, which she describes as a place between her world and our world, is very real to Jani.

"I like Calalini better than this world," she says.

There's no cure for schizophrenia, but doctors try to control Jani's violent impulses and normalize her brain activity with heavy medication. "She's on the top of the line—Clozaril, 200 milligrams a day, and lithium, 600 milligrams a day," Susan says. "Clozaril is the last resort for adult schizophrenics."

Even on medication, Jani still becomes violent at times. In June 2009, Michael and Susan decided to separate Jani from her baby brother, Bodhi, to keep him safe.

"In the two-bedroom, it was so stressful always having to make sure that Bodhi was safe, because she would attack him. She was violent all the time," Michael says. "We couldn't go to the bathroom. We couldn't take a shower. We couldn't do anything for fear that she would hurt Bodhi."

The children now live in two different one-bedroom apartments in the same complex. At night, Michael sleeps in one apartment, while Susan stays in the other. Then, the next day, they switch off.

In Jani's apartment, Michael and Susan try to replicate the hospital environment as much as possible. "We try to keep her to a similar schedule that she had in the hospital," Michael says. "There are no cleaning supplies in this apartment. There are no knives, sharp knives in this apartment."

Michael says it's as if Bodhi is growing up with a divorced household, but they'd rather split their time between apartments than risk his safety. "He never has both parents with him at all times, and as heartbreaking as that is for us, we thought that was a better alternative than having him grow up in fear of his sister," he says. "We did not want that."

At night, Michael and Susan find peace, knowing Jani survived one more day. Michael says this is his favorite time. "[I think]: 'We've kept her alive. We have now about 10 hours of rest until we've got to do it all again,'" he says. "And we will probably have to do it all again for the rest of our lives."
Oprah traveled to California to spend an afternoon with Jani and her parents, and after an hour, she said she was exhausted. "I just marveled at what it takes to keep her alive," she says. "And as you had said to me, Michael, your number one goal is to keep her alive and keep her happy."

While some people have good days and bad days, Michael says their lives have been compressed into moments.

"The moment is really all that we have," he says. "We're trying to give her as many happy moments as we can. ... She's already tried to kill herself a couple of times. We want her to feel that our world has enough to offer her so that she wants to stick it out."
To create some normalcy in her life, Susan and Michael try to send Jani to public school, where she has a one-on-one teacher in a special education classroom. Susan says she doesn't play with the other children at school. Instead, she chooses to play with her imaginary animals, as well as the class lizard, Spikes.

Jani does have one real-life friend who can understand her illness. Becca, a 9-year-old with paranoid schizophrenia, was once Jani's roommate in the psychiatric ward. Now, the girls are best friends.

Schizophrenia is an unpredictable illness that can take a toll on a family. Over the years, both Susan and Michael say their daughter's illness has tested their relationship and affected them emotionally. Both are currently battling depression.

"I was extremely depressed. I was thinking of ways out," Susan says. "I didn't want to live with this anymore."

Michael also struggled with suicidal thoughts. One afternoon, he says he tried to take his own life by swallowing half a bottle of antidepressants.

"I had reached the point of just feeling so powerless. We're taught as parents that we are supposed to be able to help our children—to save them," he says. "And we alone we couldn't do it. We couldn't save her."

After taking the pills, Michael says he was planning to drive away and let them take effect, but then he had a change of heart. "I realized that I couldn't leave Susan and Jani and Bodhi alone. I just couldn't do that. I couldn't be that selfish," he says. "So I turned around, and I went back."
While the government provides social services to adults with mental illnesses and children with behavioral problems, Michael and Susan want people to know that there are few options for children with mental illnesses.

"The Department of Mental Health wanted to send her to an out-of-state residential facility, and we wouldn't allow that because she was only 6 years old at the time," Michael says. "We want her in our lives. We love her."

Michael and Susan also want to encourage people to be empathetic toward children like Jani. "The goal is to keep kids like Jani and Becca alive, and the way that we have to do that is to try and make their lives as happy as possible," Michael says. "Now, this doesn't mean giving them everything that they want, but it means not judging them for what they can't control."


B vitamins linked to depression risk in older adults

By Reuters

Older adults with relatively low intakes of vitamins B6 and B12 may have a higher risk of developing depression than those who get more of the nutrients, a new study suggests.

Researchers found that among 3,500 older adults they followed for up to a dozen years, the risk of developing depression symptoms declined by 2 percent for every 10-milligram (mg) increase in daily vitamin B6 from food and supplements.

The same was true for every 10-microgram (mcg) increase in vitamin B12 intake.

The findings, published in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, do not prove that the B vitamins themselves protect against depression. But the results do echo those of some previous studies tying the vitamins -- as well as folate, another B vitamin -- to depression risk.

The prime shortcoming of most of those previous studies, however, was that they studied people at one point in time, rather than following them over years -- making it unclear whether the lower B-vitamin intake came before or after the depression.

The main strength of the current study is that it followed a large group of people over 12 years, measuring depression symptoms at several time points, lead researcher Dr. Kimberly Skarupski, an associate professor at Rush University Medical Center in Chicago, told Reuters Health in an email.

That bolsters the case that relatively low intakes of the B vitamins might contribute to depression in some people. Still, Skarupski and her colleagues say their results should be interpreted with "caution," because study participants' consumption of the vitamins might be a proxy for other factors, like a generally healthy diet.

The study included 3,500 Chicago-area adults who were at least 65 years old and depression-free at the outset. Participants' consumption of folate and vitamins B6 and B12 was estimated based on their responses to a detailed dietary questionnaire. They were then assessed for depression periodically over the next dozen years.

The researchers found that anywhere from 11 percent to 14 percent of participants had symptoms indicative of clinical depression at some point during the follow-up.

When they looked at the relationship between B vitamins and depression, they found that the risk generally dipped as consumption of B6 or B12 increased. The link held when Skarupski's team accounted for a number of other factors -- such as race, education and income, antidepressant use and lifestyle habits like smoking and drinking.

While the results do not prove cause-and-effect, Skarupski said they do emphasize the importance of older adults' being mindful of their diets.

"Older adults should eat well-balanced diets and talk with their healthcare providers about their nutritional intake and nutrient status," she advised.

Vitamin B6 is found in a range of foods, including beans, potatoes, bananas, meat, chicken, peanut butter and certain fish, like salmon and tuna. The recommended intake for men older than 50 is 1.7 mg per day, while women are advised to get 1.5 mg; the upper limit is set at 100 mg daily, as too much B6 can cause nerve damage.

Foods naturally rich in B12 include beef, certain fish, like salmon and trout, and milk products; B12 is also added to some foods, such as fortified breakfast cereals.

The recommended dietary allowance for the vitamin in adults is 2.4 micrograms per day; there is no established upper limit for B12 because of its low potential for harmful effects. Because older adults have difficulty absorbing the B12 naturally found in food, experts generally recommend that they try to get their daily allotment through fortified food or a multivitamin.

People in the current study consumed anywhere from 0.6 mg to 200 mg of B6 each day, while B12 intakes ranged from 0.3 to 266 mcg per day.

According to Skarupski's team, it is biologically plausible that the two vitamins would affect depression risk.

Both B6 and B12 are involved in healthy nervous system function, and overt B12 deficiency causes a neurological syndrome that includes problems with thinking and memory, as well as depression symptoms.

For its part, vitamin B6 is involved in synthesizing chemical "messengers" in the brain, including serotonin. Serotonin dysfunction is believed to play a key role in depression.

Much remains to be learned about B vitamins and depression, however. There is little evidence, for example, that taking the vitamins can help treat depression -- though preliminary findings from one recent study suggested that folate may enhance the effects of antidepressant medication.

In this study, folate intake was not linked to depression risk, as it has been in some studies from other countries. A potential explanation, Skarupski and her colleagues speculate, is that outright folate deficiency is rare in the U.S., where grain products are routinely fortified with the vitamin.

Marijuana Worsens Schizophrenia

By LiveScience

Marijuana gives people with schizophrenia a quick rush but worsens their psychotic symptoms within a few hours, a new study reveals.

Researchers in the Netherlands recruited 48 psychiatric patients and 47 healthy people to record what they were doing and how they felt 12 times a day for six days. All the study participants were regular pot smokers. The results showed that schizophrenia sufferers were more sensitive than healthy individuals to both the positive and negative effects of marijuana, or cannabis.

"People feel better when they use cannabis, and that's logical, because otherwise they wouldn't use cannabis," said study researcher Cecile Henquet of Maastricht University Medical Center in the Netherlands. "In spite of that, in the long run it's not so good for their psychotic symptoms."

Researchers have long wondered whether the mentally ill are using reefer to alleviate the classic symptoms of the disease: delusions, hallucinations and jumbled thoughts.

The new studies turn that reasoning on its head, said Deepak Cyril D'Souza, a psychiatrist at Yale University who was not involved in the study. "What the data clearly show are that, if anything, the core symptoms of schizophrenia actually get worse after using cannabis," he said.

The results, published in the June issue of the British Journal of Psychiatry, help explain previous findings that people with schizophrenia who smoke marijuana require more hospitalization, respond less well to medication and have more trouble with memory tests.

Henquet said therapists have these facts in mind when they advise their mentally ill patients not to get high. Instead, she said, therapists may need to explore the positive effects with their patients and then get them to acknowledge the downside.

D'Souza said schizophrenics don't anticipate that after the positive effects of getting high wear off, their hallucinations get worse. "Showing people with schizophrenia this pattern might help them think about [the risks of] using cannabis," he said.

The new study is further evidence of the tangled relationship between marijuana and schizophrenia. Researchers know that getting high can trigger schizophrenic symptoms in people who are at risk for mental illness.

The culprit is most likely the signature ingredient of pot, the chemical delta-9 tetrahydrocannabinol, or THC. In laboratory studies, people who ingest THC experience psychotic symptoms.

According to one estimate, if marijuana use were eliminated in the U.K., where the THC content of the drug is reportedly very high, the rate of schizophrenia would decrease by 8 percent to 14 percent.

Henquet said it's likely that marijuana triggers schizophrenic symptoms in people who have genetic mutations that sensitize them to the drug's psychotic effects.

Oddly enough, some evidence suggests that a second marijuana component called cannabidiol actually has antipsychotic effects. D'Souza said he and other researchers are testing whether administering cannabidiol by itself can alleviate psychotic symptoms.

"If there's enough evidence to support it's use as an antipsychotic," he said, "then that might be one way of getting people to stop using cannabis."

Best of Luck

The Dating Profiles Meme: Best of Luck

1. AM 29,POSTING MYSELF HERE FOR THE FIRST TIME AND THIS IS MY FIRST TIME OF DOING ONLINE DATING AND I WISH MYSELF BEST OF LUCK.
I FREAKING HATE PEOPLE WHO TYPE IN CAPS

2. Friends would tell you that I've had a tough life. I would tell you that my life has made me tough.
I'm going to steal that quote to use on my Facebook page. I've had a tough life, but I think that I've learned from my struggles and have become tough myself

3. i am an accountant and musician with a wicked sense of humor.
I hope you write stupid songs about doing people's taxes because that would make me laugh

4. I'm what you would call "REAL"!
Putting quote marks around something only makes me question if it's the truth. I really love looking at the Blog Of Unnecessary Quotes. I think that's because I'm a copy editor and correcting punctuation is sort of my thing

5. Welcome back everyone.I took a break from dating.for vie months.
What the hell is "vie months?"

6. My son tells me my problem is that I am too nice.
I seriously doubt any son would tell his mother that. What son wants their mother to be more of a bitch?

7. It would be nice to have someone to share the rest of my life with.
I would also be nice to have someone say something original on their dating profile

8. Do you feel small next to an ocean?
I don't know. Never been to an ocean

9. I do not want anyone to respond if they are not serious about getting to know me.
"Ooh hey sexy baby, I'm VERY serious about getting to know your lady parts"

10. Here are a few adjectives that describe me: warm-hearted, intelligent, spunky, passionate, inquisitive, great eyes, self-respecting, loyal, sincere, strong intellect, emotional maturity, a deep appreciation for life's gifts, silly, sensual, having a zest and curiosity for life, uninhibited, adventurous, well traveled, inquisitive, open mind, confident, well-rounded, reasonably outgoing, persistent, honest, and self-knowledgeable.
First of all, those aren't all adjectives. Go back to 7th grade English class and relearn the difference between adjectives and nouns. Second of all, judging by that long-winded disjointed description of yourself, you'd bore me to death

Pro-Eating Disorder Sites Abound on the Internet

By HealthDay

They're out there on the Web: Sites that offer tips to successful purging or water-only fasts; others that list methods of hiding rapid weight loss from parents and doctors.

If the proliferation of these pro-anorexia and pro-bulimia Web sites isn't bad enough, eating disorder experts say they now have to contend with "pro-ana" and "pro-mia" bloggers and "thinspiration" Twitter updates sent right to an interested party's mobile phone.

"They are reaching very vulnerable youth," said Dina Borzekowski, an associate professor in Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health. "When you have the Internet used all times of the night, kids have easy access to it. It's anonymous. They can gain support for what they're doing and information."

For their new study, Borzekowski and colleagues conducted a systematic review of 180 pro-eating disorder sites. What they found was both surprising and frightening.

About 91 percent of sites were open to the public -- though many warned that "wannabes" should stay away -- and about 79 percent had interactive features, such as calorie and body-mass index (BMI) calculators.

About 16 percent had a "creed" or "oath to Ana," such as the "Thin Commandments," or 10 rules for eating disorders, such as: "Thou shall not eat without feeling guilty," "Thou shall not eat fattening food without punishing oneself afterward," and "What the scale says is the most important thing."

About 42 percent provided a venue for posting artwork and poetry, some of it disturbing:

"some look at us and call us crazy
how little they really know
they pass us by and stare
like we're in some sickly show
don't they see?
It is not us who is at fault
They kill their bodies with fats and grease
but we give our bodies nothing at all."

"Thinspiration," such as photos or videos of very thin models and actresses, were on 85 percent of the sites. And about 43 percent provided specific instructions on concealing eating disorders, according to the study.

Patients with eating disorders have been known to go to great lengths to hide their weight loss, explained Dr. Ira Sacker, an eating disorder specialist, including drinking lots of water before being weighed and hiding weights in their clothes.

About one-third of sites did include information about recovery or treatment, though only 13 percent of sites contained an overt statement that eating disorders are a problem.

"Some people who create these messages stand behind what they are doing, while another fraction realize this is troubling and they are suffering," Borzekowski, said. "You get mixed messages."

The study is published in the June 17 issue of the American Journal of Public Health.

Previous research suggests that teens exposed to pro-eating disorder Web sites do have higher levels of body dissatisfaction compared to adolescents that have not been exposed. Other studies found that teens who spent time on these sites tend to have harder-to-treat eating disorders, according to background information in the study.

Sacker has been treating patients with eating disorders for some 40 years. He can remember his dismay when he first started seeing pro-eating disorder sites pop up in the early 1990s.

"These are really scary," Sacker said. "The people on these sites want to be using the eating disorder as their identity, and they want to communicate with others like them. That makes them believe there is a safety in it and a community behind it, which reinforces that what they are doing is OK. It's almost like a cheerleading group."

In 2001, the search engines Yahoo and MSN agreed to shut down overtly pro-eating disorder sites, according to background information in the article.

It didn't make much of a dent, Sacker said. Over time, online offerings for those with eating disorders have only gotten more sophisticated. The text and a photos of skeletal models has morphed into videos, voice-overs, blogs and Facebook groups.

"Parents need to be aware and have boundaries about what their kids are doing on Facebook or on these sites," Sacker said. "Even though some sites talk about recovery, the majority can worsen or prolong the illness."

Though there are many exceptions, the typical profile of someone with an eating disorder is a highly intelligent, motivated perfectionist who "feels they are not good enough, no matter what they do, and are looking for some form of control," Sacker said.

The content of pro-eating disorder sites reflected those themes, with 83 percent talking about "success," 81 percent "control," 80 percent "perfection" and 76 percent "solidarity," according to the paper.

People with eating disorders may also have depression, anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorder or other mental health conditions.

The obsession with weight loss obscures all else, Sacker said. "They become totally preoccupied by looking at mirrors. They know more about nutrition than most nutritionists. They lose friends and become socially isolated because of it," Sacker said.

Medications, including mood stabilizers, anti-anxiety drugs and antidepressants can help some with eating disorders, Sacker said.


Thursday, June 17, 2010

Snakes, Hiking, And Shirt Colors

1. Have you ever wondered why snakes can't slither backwards?
I just figured they felt safer going somewhere head first

2. Is divorce contagious?
I think marriage is contagious. People see marriage from the outside and think it's so great so they go out seeking marriage. The reality of marriage hardly ever lives up to the fantasy

3. Do you enjoy hiking?
I don't even enjoy walking on flat ground

4. Is there a color of a shirt a man should just never wear?
Pink

5. Have you read a news story this week that just made your blood boil?
During the flooding Oklahoma City had this week, a puppy drowned. Hearing that on the news made me really sad

6. Do you keep old business cards or name tags from companies you have worked for?
No

7. If you could save an endangered species, which one would it be?
I'd probably save all of them if I could

8. When is it warm enough outside for you to start wearing shorts?
Once it hits about 70 degrees

9. Have you ever broken a window?
Not that I remember

10. Do dogs in your neighborhood howl when they hear sirens from police cars or fire trucks?
Yes, and it drives me insane

11. Have you tried doing something as an adult that you used to be able to do as a kid?
I used to be able to eat anything I wanted to without gaining weight. I once had a pizza eating contest during which I ate 7 large pizzas. Now I gain weight even if I look at something

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

People suck --- update on my brother

I called my mom last night and she told me that my brother seemed to be doing better than he had been for months, like maybe the medicine was already helping him be less depressed. That should have been wonderful to hear, and it was, but it was followed with a "But..."

My brother's coworkers heard about him going to the doctor to start treatment for depression. In small towns, people know everything about everyone. They were teasing him for it. They actually made fun of him for seeking treatment. Part of it is because he's normally soft-spoken and he's the youngest one on the staff, so he seems to be the easy target for jokes.

They were also pressuring him to quit his job because he is "going crazy." He was really upset when he got home from work yesterday because he felt crazy. My mom really tried to comfort him.

If that kind of thing was said in my workplace, the human resources department would be having a meeting with whomever said it to point out that could not only get him or her fired but get them sued. If my coworkers were pressuring me to quit because I'm "crazy," then I'd have quite a lawsuit that I know I could win. But in small towns people do whatever the hell they feel like doing.

So yeah, we should have been really happy because he seemed to be less depressed, but now he has to deal with extra teasing at work.

Sometimes people really suck.

Project 365, photo 150 --- Static

There's a lot of utility line work going on this week in my neighborhood, and they keep knocking off the cable to my TV and internet. So I've been staring at static for hours at a time each day.... It's also a good visual representation of how my brain feels today



Bruce Springsteen

Today we picked Bruce Springsteen. Here's Wednesday Wickedness!

1. “When it comes to luck, you make your own.” Do you believe you have that type of control over your luck?
My mom always says "If it wasn't for bad luck, I wouldn't have any luck." I really feel that everything happens for a reason and almost everything that happens has been predetermined, so I really don't think you make your own luck

2. “You've got to learn to live with what you can't rise above.” What is something you have had difficulty rising above?
It took me a long time to rise above all the anger I felt toward my older brother for defending our father after our parents split up. I couldn't believe that he would defend my father abusing us and cheating on my mom. I finally was able to rise above it, at least to some extent

3. “Poor men wanna be rich, rich men wanna be kings, and a king ain’t satisfied till he rules everything.” Would you want to be rich?
I don't need to be rich. I just want to have enough money to survive, have some savings, and have no debts

4. “The best music is essentially there to provide you something to face the world with.” Tell us about a song that helps you "face the world."
"There will be a day" by Jeremy Camp



5. “In America everything's about who's number one today.” Have you ever been a fan of someone you thought would last but turned out to be a flash in the pan?
Actually I think for me it's the other way around. I become a fan of someone and figure they'll only last a short time, but sometimes I'm surprised to find that they stay popular for a while

6. “Is a dream a lie if it don't come true, or is it something worse?” Has any dream of yours come true?
Getting together with my boyfriend is a dream come true

7. “Our American government has strayed too far from American values. It is time to move forward. The country we carry in our hearts is waiting.” What would you change if you became the president?
I would never ever become the president

8. "Yeah, I had gay friends. The first thing I realized was that everybody's different, and it becomes obvious that all of the gay stereotypes are ridiculous." How do you feel about gay rights?
I think that love is love. I don't think it matters what gender you are, so I think gays should be able to marry if they want to. I also think that a gay couple can provide a loving home for a child, so I think they should be able to adopt children.

9. " It's a sad man my friend who's living in his own skin and can't stand the company." Have you ever been disappointed in yourself?
Yeah, like every day

10. "The best music is essentially there to provide you something to face the world with." What's your favorite type of music? What's your favorite band?
I like a wide variety of music, but what I listen to depends on my current mood. If I had to pick a favorite musician, I'd have to say Pink

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