Sunday, October 31, 2010
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Waiting outside the lines
Some of you may have heard of Greyson Chance, and some of you probably haven't. He's a 13-year-old boy from Oklahoma who became a YouTube sensation, then got a record contract. I just heard his song "Waiting Outside the Lines," which I assume is the first single off his upcoming album. It has a great message about living life to its fullest, so I thought I'd share it here ...
"Waiting Outside the Lines" by Greyson Chance lyrics
You’ll never enjoy your life,
living inside the box
You’re so afraid of taking chances,
how you gonna reach the top?
Rules and regulations,
force you to play it safe
Get rid of all the hesitation,
it’s time for you to seize the day
Instead of just sitting around
and looking down on tomorrow
You gotta let your feet off the ground,
the time is now
I’m waiting, waiting, just waiting,
I’m waiting, waiting outside the lines
Waiting outside the lines
Waiting outside the lines
Try to have no regrets
even if it’s just tonight
How you gonna walk ahead
if you keep living behind
Stuck in my same position,
you deserve so much more
There’s a whole world around us,
just waiting to be explored
Instead of just sitting around
and looking down on tomorrow
You gotta let your feet off the ground,
the time is now, just let it go
The world will force you to smile
I’m here to help you notice the rainbow
Cause I know,
What’s in you is out there
I’m waiting, waiting, just waiting,
I’m waiting, waiting outside the lines
Waiting outside the lines
Waiting outside the lines
I’m trying to be patient (I’m trying to be patient)
the first step is the hardest (the hardest)
I know you can make it,
go ahead and take it
I’m Waiting, waiting, just waiting I’m waiting
I’m waiting, waiting, just waiting
I’m waiting, waiting outside the lines
Waiting outside the lines
Waiting outside the lines
You’ll never enjoy your life
Living inside the box
You’re so afraid of taking chances,
How you gonna reach the top?
"Waiting Outside the Lines" by Greyson Chance lyrics
You’ll never enjoy your life,
living inside the box
You’re so afraid of taking chances,
how you gonna reach the top?
Rules and regulations,
force you to play it safe
Get rid of all the hesitation,
it’s time for you to seize the day
Instead of just sitting around
and looking down on tomorrow
You gotta let your feet off the ground,
the time is now
I’m waiting, waiting, just waiting,
I’m waiting, waiting outside the lines
Waiting outside the lines
Waiting outside the lines
Try to have no regrets
even if it’s just tonight
How you gonna walk ahead
if you keep living behind
Stuck in my same position,
you deserve so much more
There’s a whole world around us,
just waiting to be explored
Instead of just sitting around
and looking down on tomorrow
You gotta let your feet off the ground,
the time is now, just let it go
The world will force you to smile
I’m here to help you notice the rainbow
Cause I know,
What’s in you is out there
I’m waiting, waiting, just waiting,
I’m waiting, waiting outside the lines
Waiting outside the lines
Waiting outside the lines
I’m trying to be patient (I’m trying to be patient)
the first step is the hardest (the hardest)
I know you can make it,
go ahead and take it
I’m Waiting, waiting, just waiting I’m waiting
I’m waiting, waiting, just waiting
I’m waiting, waiting outside the lines
Waiting outside the lines
Waiting outside the lines
You’ll never enjoy your life
Living inside the box
You’re so afraid of taking chances,
How you gonna reach the top?
My favorite teacher, a good friend, committed suicide
My mind has been blown away.
Right now I feel like crying, but I can't.
I got home from work Monday night and got onto Facebook. I noticed that someone had added me to a friends "group." I went to check it out and it was a group to remember the man who was my favorite teacher of all time and a great family friend. He was found dead in his home Monday morning after he didn't show up to work at the school he was teaching at now. He apparently committed suicide with a gun.
Out of all the teachers I ever had, he had the most profound effect on my life. I think I took five classes under him, and he was a coach at the school. Over the years, we had become close. He was fun to be around and made learning history/government fun. He also was the only teacher I ever had a crush on.
One of the funnest things about him was he was totally paranoid about several things. Really I shouldn't see that as a positive because in the end, it could have actually been the paranoia that lead to the suicide. Anyways, he was determined that communists or Nazis were out to kill him. To him, everything was a conspiracy. If we ever wanted to get out of doing a daily lesson, we could bring up President Kennedy's assassination, and he'd spend the entire hour going off about how it was a huge major conspiracy.
Sometimes for fun, he'd show us old episodes of "Seinfield" and "Saturday Night Live," which were his favorite TV shows, and each winter, we'd watch the movie "It's a Wonderful Life," which he felt taught a great lesson for life.
He'd always talk about how the men in his family never lived to be 50 years old. They all died young. He would always say his life was already more than half over. He was in his early 40s, so I wonder if he started getting paranoid that his life was about to end.
I haven't heard if there was a suicide note or not. I'm not sure I want to know what's in the note if there was one, but I wonder what led him to the decision to kill himself.
I loved that man for so many reasons. I think of him often. I had told all my friends and coworkers about him. I'm going to miss him so much.
I am begging all of you...
If you are considering suicide, please get help. Even if you think no one loves you, you're wrong. If you feel like you're all alone, you're wrong. Someone somewhere cares about you, someone loves you. You've touched the life of someone who will miss you if you're gone. Suicide is never the answer. It's a permanent solution to temporary problems, and the rippling effects of a suicide are far-reaching and can hurt many many people.
Or, if you are a family member, friend, or coworker to someone who you think may be suicidal, please don't wait until it's too late. Help them now.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
The Presuppose You're Living in New England Meme
1. Have you turned the heat on in your house yet this fall?
Not yet, I like being a little cold
2. Do you allow your pets on the furniture?
I'm not sure I "allow" them. I don't think they gave me any choice. They were going to get on the furniture whether I wanted them to or not
3. What were your final words for September?
On the last day of September, I was doing a countdown to my birthday since Oct 1st was my birthday
4. What are your first words for October?
"Whoo hoo. I'm 29" or something like that
5. Do you think you’ve ever seen a ghost?
I see hallucinations a lot, so if I ever saw a ghost I would just have thought it was a hallucination
6. What is the one color that represents this time of year?
Orange ... that's the color the leaves turn
7. Which of your senses do you think is most sensitive this time of year?
My sense of smell because my nose is so sensitive. For some reason during the fall and winter I have massive nosebleeds all the time and that seems to weaken my nasal passages somewhat. Strong smells, no matter if they're good or bad smells, hurt my nose
8. What is your favorite thing to do at the county fair?
I've actually never been to the Oklahoma County Fair.... At the state fair, I love to eat the $6 cinnamon rolls and $8 Indian tacos
9. What do you like when you have a cold?
I like to have my mommy take care of me
10. Are you willing to spend over $100 for a piece of winter clothing, like boots or a coat?
Nope
12. What do you have too much of in your kitchen?
Small "as seen on TV" items that I've never used or used once and never used again
13. What gripes do you have about this time of year?
The sun sets too early
14. Other than yourself, are you responsible for getting anyone ready in the morning?
No, unless making my dogs get out of bed counts as getting them "ready"
15. When was the last time you cleaned your gutters?
I've never done it
16. So, it’s after Labor Day. Will you still be wearing white?
With the exception of socks, I never wear white
17. What shows are you most looking forward to this Fall?
I'm totally hooked on "The Event" and "Vampire Diaries" right now
18. What three things have you just not gotten around to from the summer, but probably should do before snow flies?
Hmm, I'm lazy so there are tons of things I haven't gotten around to doing, but I can't think of anything that has to be done before the snow comes
Saturday, October 23, 2010
I'm So Proud
1. What are you proud of?
I'm proud of myself for getting out of my abusive marriage and staying away from him for over 2 years now, even though I was scared to divorce him. He always threatened to kill me if I left
2. What is the best thing you’ve ever won as a prize? How did you win it?
I won $29 with a $2 lottery ticket. I suck at winning things, so that's the best thing I can think of that I've won
3. Tell us about something you've done that in retrospect was a waste of time.
Being married to the man mentioned in #1
4. How old were you when life changed the most for you? How did it change?
22... My mom left my dad, I got married, I graduated from college and got a full-time job at a newspaper
5. Tell us about a place you that you've been that you considered to be very tranquil.
My grandparents' farm (or ranch, whatever you want to call it)... It's out in the middle of nowhere and our family owns thousands of acres of land. You can stand out in the fields and there's nothing for miles. It's so quiet and stress free
6. Who is your favorite news anchor/reporter? Why?
I suppose I should say a reporter from the newspaper I work at, but I won't ... my favorite news person is Nancy Grace. She's a bitch when she needs to be but she's got a soft side.
7. If you were to have the opportunity to name a new town or city, what would you call it? Why?
For the life of me, I can't think of a name
8. What is something about which you've always wondered but have not yet found a good answer?
What dogs are thinking when they tilt their heads back and forth
9. When you can't go to sleep, what is your personal remedy to help yourself drift into Lullabyland?
I'm on sleeping pills... they're nice
Friday, October 22, 2010
Crazy anxiety
It's 3:30 a.m. and I'm having a crazy amount of anxiety. I can't really explain why here on the blog, but dear God I'm going insane with anxiety. I need some new ways to deal with anxiety. Nothing is working lately
Thursday, October 21, 2010
I See Dead People
1. Berleen is sending you away again. You can travel anywhere in the world; one destination per day from Friday through Monday. Where do you go and why?
Friday - I'd go to my mom's house to pick her and my brother up for the trip
Saturday - We'd fly to California to see my older brother and his wife
Sunday - We'd then go to Hawaii
Monday - We'd fly to Dallas just for the hell of it before heading back to Oklahoma
2. Would you keep a secret from the closest person to you if you thought it was in their best interest?
Of course
3. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you that you have not revealed in some other crazy meme.
I have a collection of crazy head wear in my desk at work. I put one on when I'm feeling festive
4. You can have three wishes (for yourself, so forget all the 'world peace etc' BS) - what are they?
1) To have enough money to pay off all my debts, 2) To live in a new home that my abusive ex-husband doesn't know about, 3) To have my mommy come live with me. (Yes I'm 29 and still need my mommy)
5. If you could change anything about your living situation, would you?
I'd live where my ex-husband couldn't find me
6. Who is your favorite character from a comic strip? Please post one strip for us to laugh at.
Buckles
7. Now we have found you dead. What five people do you want to MEET in Heaven?
Brittany Murphy, Heath Ledger, Billy Mays, Marilyn Monroe, Princess Di
8. So since you are dead, what will the title of your life story be?
"Fuck if I know"
9. Word association time! What's the first thing that comes to mind when you see the word pleasure?
Sex
10. Kimber is by the Arizona ocean. She finds a message in a bottle. What does it say?
"Don't fart in the water"
11. Would you like to guest host Thunks one week? Answer “yes” here and email us here! If the answer is “no” who do you think would be a great guest host?
I'd say yes, but I'm too lazy and it would never get done if you put it in my hands
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Stitched: A Memoir
My birthday was 19 days ago. I didn't make any big deal of it on the blog this year. I'm not sure why. I just didn't. I let the day pass without any comment on here.Anyways, my boyfriend bought me a DVD copy of the "Painful Secrets" movie (a.k.a. "Secret Cutting) and Marissa Carney's book "Stitched: A Memoir." It's somewhat weird that my boyfriend would buy me two things that were related to cutting. Of course, he doesn't want me to cut, but I think he thought they'd help me with my goal of facing all my issues and eventually overcoming them.
I haven't even opened the DVD yet. As I posted a while back, I watched the movie a while back online and it triggered my desire to cut pretty bad. So I'm going to wait to open it until I'm in a more stable place.
I started reading the book right away, though. I stopped reading the book I was reading and picked the new one up. It's a very unique book. It's a collection of Marissa's personal journal entries and her poetry mixed with present-day commentary looking back at the journal entries. I just finished it about 30 minutes ago. In the end, I think it was a very helpful book for me to read. It gave some really good insight into another cutter's mind.
There are a lot of similarities between Marissa and I... she's only 4 years older than me, she's also a journalist, she has had lifelong struggles with her father, she has a good but strained relationship with her mother and a brother, she has a strong belief in God. She mentions reading the books "Girl Interrupted" and "Prozac Nation" and watching the movie "Thirteen." Those are three things that have been really helpful for me in the past.
I definitely would recommend the book to anyone who is a cutter or a former cutter or anyone who wants to understand why someone else cuts.
I normally would include passages that stood out to me from the book, but I'd be quoting about a third of the book. That's way more typing that I care to do right now
I do have some critics though... 1) While I love the book's cover, I could see it be very triggering to someone who gets triggered by images of self-harm. The painting has a bunch of cuts on the woman's arms. That is a little hard to stomach when you're struggling with the desire to cut yourself. ... 2) Because the majority of the book is taken straight out of Marissa's journals, sometimes it's hard to follow. She sort of jumps around a lot, and many of the entries don't give details of what she's reflecting on. Occasionally I felt lost while reading it, but of course, that sort of drives home the point of her instability while writing ... 3) There were some typos throughout the book, so it wasn't edited as well as it should have been, and the book uses several different fonts. The book's dedication has a font that is hard to read, and each poem has its own font that is different than the journal entries. For some reason that bothers me a lot.
Anyways... I am really happy my boyfriend discovered the book on Amazon and bought it for me. If you've read it, please share your thoughts with me through a comment. I'd love to hear what everyone else thought of the book.
Christine O'Donnell
1. On why she's anti masturbation: "If he already knows what pleases him and he can please himself, then why am I in the picture?" Have you ever heard a stupider statement? If yes, when?
I made a comment about nun-themed porn last week, and my boyfriend said "Well I'm sure nuns have to get naked at some point." ... Well no crap, I hope they at least shower
2. “Physics put people in spiritual harm the way pimps put people in physical harm.” Do you believe that prostitution should be legalized?
I am actually a firm believer that prostitution should be legalized. Same with marijuana. That way the government can regulate the industries and collect taxes on them. Prostitutes and drug dealers make tax-free income. It's not fair to those of us who work our asses off at normal jobs and then have to pay taxes on it
3. “We took the Bible out of public schools. Now we're having weekly shootings. We had the 60s sexual revolution and now people are dying from aids.” What benefits do you think the 60s' sexual revolution has given us?
I'm not sure I know an answer to that exactly. None of my history classes covered the sexual revolution
4. “The Bible says that lust in your heart in committing adultery.” Do you think having a sexual fantasy when you're married or part of a couple is wrong?
It's absolutely fine. It's human to fantasize
5. On co-ed dorms: “What's next? Orgy rooms? Menage-trois rooms? Coedness is like a radical agenda forced on college students.” Have you ever been asked to participate in other than a one on one sexual experience?
Haha.... um .... I did two threesomes (a guy and another girl) in college, and got asked to do another one with two men, but I declined that. I've also been invited to swingers' groups which I'm sure would have turned into orgies, and I declined them too
Definitely not Barney. That purple bastard creeps me out....
7. “I dabbled in witchcraft. I hung around people who were doing these things. I'm not making this stuff up." What's the strangest thing that you “dabbled” in?
I dabbled in some witchcraft myself when I was a teenager. I promptly stopped when one of my "spells" seemed to work and I got creeped out
8. "I am not a clone of Sarah Palin. I have my own thoughts." How different is Sarah Palin's political agenda from your own?
I have no political agenda
9. "American scientific companies are cross-breeding humans and animals and coming up with mice with fully functioning human brains." What animal would you like your brain cross breed with?
Dogs... I'd like to gain the ability to love someone unconditionally like dogs
10. "[H]omosexuals [are] getting away with nudity! They're getting away with lasciviousness! They're getting away with perversion!" Have nude homosexuals ever interfered with your day?
Going back to my answer to #5 ... The two guys who tried to get me to do a threesome may have not been homosexuals, but they sure were comfortable being nude together. I was sufficiently creeped out ... I should say that gays don't creep me out... Seeing my boyfriend naked with his "best friend" did creep me out
People With Anorexia May Risk Serious Eye Damage
By HealthDay
People with the eating disorder anorexia nervosa may be at risk for potentially serious eye damage, says a small new study from Greece.
This damage can occur in the macula, which is located near the center of the retina at the back of the eye and is responsible for fine detailed central vision and the processing of light.
In this study, researchers at the University of Athens compared the thickness of the macula and its electrical activity in the eyes of 13 women who'd had anorexia nervosa for an average of 10 years and 20 healthy women without anorexia who served as controls. The average age of the women was 28.
When compared to the healthy women, those with anorexia nervosa had no obvious visual problems and their eyes were working normally. However, the macula and the nerve layers feeding it (retinal nerve fibers) were much thinner in the eyes of the women with anorexia nervosa. Their eyes also showed significantly less firing of the neurotransmitter dopamine, which plays an important role in the brain's ability to process visual images.
The researchers also found differences between women with certain patterns of anorexia nervosa. The fovea -- a part of the macula that is rich in light-sensitive cones (photoreceptors) -- was thinner in women who binged and purged than in those who only severely restricted their calorie consumption.
Further research is needed to determine if these changes in the eyes are the initial stages of progressive blindness or whether the eyes would return to normal if a patient with anorexia nervosa resumed regular eating habits, said the University of Athens team.
The study appears online in the British Journal of Ophthalmology.
People with the eating disorder anorexia nervosa may be at risk for potentially serious eye damage, says a small new study from Greece.
This damage can occur in the macula, which is located near the center of the retina at the back of the eye and is responsible for fine detailed central vision and the processing of light.
In this study, researchers at the University of Athens compared the thickness of the macula and its electrical activity in the eyes of 13 women who'd had anorexia nervosa for an average of 10 years and 20 healthy women without anorexia who served as controls. The average age of the women was 28.
When compared to the healthy women, those with anorexia nervosa had no obvious visual problems and their eyes were working normally. However, the macula and the nerve layers feeding it (retinal nerve fibers) were much thinner in the eyes of the women with anorexia nervosa. Their eyes also showed significantly less firing of the neurotransmitter dopamine, which plays an important role in the brain's ability to process visual images.
The researchers also found differences between women with certain patterns of anorexia nervosa. The fovea -- a part of the macula that is rich in light-sensitive cones (photoreceptors) -- was thinner in women who binged and purged than in those who only severely restricted their calorie consumption.
Further research is needed to determine if these changes in the eyes are the initial stages of progressive blindness or whether the eyes would return to normal if a patient with anorexia nervosa resumed regular eating habits, said the University of Athens team.
The study appears online in the British Journal of Ophthalmology.
Animal Study Explores Potential Gene Therapy for Depression
By HealthDay
A combination of animal and human research is pointing the way towards a novel gene therapy that could ultimately help in the treatment of major depression, researchers say.
The approach is designed to boost levels of a brain protein known as p11. The study authors cite p11 as a key player in the promotion of feelings of reward, pleasure and satisfaction with positive life experiences.
"Current therapies for depression treat symptoms but not underlying causes, and while that works for many patients, those with advanced depression or depression that does not respond to medication could hopefully benefit from our new approach," study senior investigator Dr. Michael Kaplitt, an associate professor and vice chairman for research of neurological surgery at Weill Cornell Medical College, said in a news release from New York-Presbyterian Hospital/Weill Cornell Medical Center.
Kaplitt, who is also a neurosurgeon at New York-Presbyterian Hospital/Weill Cornell, and his colleagues published their findings in the Oct. 20 issue of Science Translational Medicine.
P11's central role in depression was uncovered in 2006 by Nobel Prize winner Dr. Paul Greengard of Rockefeller University. At that time, p11 was identified as a key player in facilitating the binding of the neurotransmitter serotonin -- long cited as a mood, appetite and sleep regulator -- to nerve cells.
"In the absence of p11, a neuron can produce all the serotonin receptors it needs, but they will not be transported to the cell surface and therefore won't stick out and latch on to the neurotransmitter," explained Kaplitt in the news release.
Following discussions with Greengard, Kaplitt further studied p11's role in mice by disabling the protein's ability to function properly in a specific part of the brain called the nucleus accumbens, which is known to be involved in both addiction and depression.
Without p11, the mice displayed depressive behaviors. The investigators then used a technique they had tested in Parkinson's disease patients, in which they engineer a non-functioning virus, pack it with a desired genetic "payload" (in this case, the p11 gene), and then direct the virus to deposit its contents into specifically targeted brain cells.
After the gene was delivered to the animals' p11-inhibited nucleus accumbens regions, the mice stopped displaying depressive behaviors, the researchers reported.
What's more, autopsies conducted on human patients who had been diagnosed with severe depression further revealed that the same region in their brains had significantly lower amounts of the p11 gene than typically found in patients with no signs of depression, the study noted.
"Together, these studies provide strong evidence that maintaining adequate levels of this particular protein, p11, in this pleasure-reward area of the brain may be central to preventing or treating depression," Kaplitt concluded.
However, "patients should not get their hopes up that this is going to turn around the treatment of depression anytime soon," according to Dr. Bernard Carroll, scientific director of the Pacific Behavioral Research Foundation in Carmel, Calif., and a former chairman of the U.S. Food and Drug Administration's advisory committee for psychotropic drugs.
"The laboratory findings are interesting, but the translational step to anything that would benefit a patient is very removed at this point," he noted. "Although the basic neurobiology that is being studied here is well known, depression is a human disorder and animal models do not faithfully reproduce the full syndrome. So while I'm not knocking the science, what I'm knocking is the rush to speculate about how far this will take us."
A combination of animal and human research is pointing the way towards a novel gene therapy that could ultimately help in the treatment of major depression, researchers say.
The approach is designed to boost levels of a brain protein known as p11. The study authors cite p11 as a key player in the promotion of feelings of reward, pleasure and satisfaction with positive life experiences.
"Current therapies for depression treat symptoms but not underlying causes, and while that works for many patients, those with advanced depression or depression that does not respond to medication could hopefully benefit from our new approach," study senior investigator Dr. Michael Kaplitt, an associate professor and vice chairman for research of neurological surgery at Weill Cornell Medical College, said in a news release from New York-Presbyterian Hospital/Weill Cornell Medical Center.
Kaplitt, who is also a neurosurgeon at New York-Presbyterian Hospital/Weill Cornell, and his colleagues published their findings in the Oct. 20 issue of Science Translational Medicine.
P11's central role in depression was uncovered in 2006 by Nobel Prize winner Dr. Paul Greengard of Rockefeller University. At that time, p11 was identified as a key player in facilitating the binding of the neurotransmitter serotonin -- long cited as a mood, appetite and sleep regulator -- to nerve cells.
"In the absence of p11, a neuron can produce all the serotonin receptors it needs, but they will not be transported to the cell surface and therefore won't stick out and latch on to the neurotransmitter," explained Kaplitt in the news release.
Following discussions with Greengard, Kaplitt further studied p11's role in mice by disabling the protein's ability to function properly in a specific part of the brain called the nucleus accumbens, which is known to be involved in both addiction and depression.
Without p11, the mice displayed depressive behaviors. The investigators then used a technique they had tested in Parkinson's disease patients, in which they engineer a non-functioning virus, pack it with a desired genetic "payload" (in this case, the p11 gene), and then direct the virus to deposit its contents into specifically targeted brain cells.
After the gene was delivered to the animals' p11-inhibited nucleus accumbens regions, the mice stopped displaying depressive behaviors, the researchers reported.
What's more, autopsies conducted on human patients who had been diagnosed with severe depression further revealed that the same region in their brains had significantly lower amounts of the p11 gene than typically found in patients with no signs of depression, the study noted.
"Together, these studies provide strong evidence that maintaining adequate levels of this particular protein, p11, in this pleasure-reward area of the brain may be central to preventing or treating depression," Kaplitt concluded.
However, "patients should not get their hopes up that this is going to turn around the treatment of depression anytime soon," according to Dr. Bernard Carroll, scientific director of the Pacific Behavioral Research Foundation in Carmel, Calif., and a former chairman of the U.S. Food and Drug Administration's advisory committee for psychotropic drugs.
"The laboratory findings are interesting, but the translational step to anything that would benefit a patient is very removed at this point," he noted. "Although the basic neurobiology that is being studied here is well known, depression is a human disorder and animal models do not faithfully reproduce the full syndrome. So while I'm not knocking the science, what I'm knocking is the rush to speculate about how far this will take us."
Depression, Anxiety May Raise Surgery Risks
By HealthDay
People with depression and anxiety have a slightly increased risk of death after undergoing surgery, a new study suggests.
U.S. researchers analyzed data from 35,539 surgical patients admitted to intensive care units between Oct. 1, 2003 and Sept. 30, 2006. Of those patients, 8,922 (25.1 percent) had an existing psychiatric condition, including 5,500 (15.5 percent) with depression, 2,913 (8.2 percent) with post-traumatic stress disorder, 2,473 (7 percent) with anxiety, 793 (2.2 percent) with bipolar disorder, and 621 (1.8 percent) with psychosis.
Initial analysis showed that the death rates within 30 days after surgery were similar for patients with and without psychiatric illness -- 3.8 percent and 4 percent, respectively. But when the researchers adjusted for other factors, the death rate was higher for patients with a psychiatric condition, according to the report in the October issue of the journal Archives of Surgery.
Further analysis showed that the increased risk of death was associated with depression and anxiety, but not any other psychiatric condition. Also, death rates were higher among patients with psychiatric conditions who had respiratory or digestive system surgery, but not for those who had surgery involving the circulatory, nervous or musculoskeletal systems.
"Several potential mechanisms exist to explain these findings," Dr. Thad E. Abrams, of the Iowa City Veterans Affairs Medical Center and University of Iowa Carver College of Medicine in Iowa City, and colleagues wrote in a news release from the journal's publisher.
"First, studies indicate that patients with depression frequently do not adhere to medical recommendations for underlying medical conditions," the study authors noted. "It is therefore plausible that such undertreated conditions may affect postoperative care and outcomes. Second, patients with existing psychiatric comorbidity may be more likely to undergo surgery by a lower-quality surgeon or hospital. Third, pre-existing psychiatric comorbidity may serve as an indicator for greater severity of surgical risk."
The findings suggest that surgical patients with depression or anxiety require special care.
"Until further research is completed, we recommend that surgeons caring for patients with a history of anxiety or depression seek early involvement of multidisciplinary teams to help identify problematic areas in perioperative care processes, particularly regarding issues of surgeon-patient communication and adherence to post-surgical recommendations," Abrams and colleagues concluded.
People with depression and anxiety have a slightly increased risk of death after undergoing surgery, a new study suggests.
U.S. researchers analyzed data from 35,539 surgical patients admitted to intensive care units between Oct. 1, 2003 and Sept. 30, 2006. Of those patients, 8,922 (25.1 percent) had an existing psychiatric condition, including 5,500 (15.5 percent) with depression, 2,913 (8.2 percent) with post-traumatic stress disorder, 2,473 (7 percent) with anxiety, 793 (2.2 percent) with bipolar disorder, and 621 (1.8 percent) with psychosis.
Initial analysis showed that the death rates within 30 days after surgery were similar for patients with and without psychiatric illness -- 3.8 percent and 4 percent, respectively. But when the researchers adjusted for other factors, the death rate was higher for patients with a psychiatric condition, according to the report in the October issue of the journal Archives of Surgery.
Further analysis showed that the increased risk of death was associated with depression and anxiety, but not any other psychiatric condition. Also, death rates were higher among patients with psychiatric conditions who had respiratory or digestive system surgery, but not for those who had surgery involving the circulatory, nervous or musculoskeletal systems.
"Several potential mechanisms exist to explain these findings," Dr. Thad E. Abrams, of the Iowa City Veterans Affairs Medical Center and University of Iowa Carver College of Medicine in Iowa City, and colleagues wrote in a news release from the journal's publisher.
"First, studies indicate that patients with depression frequently do not adhere to medical recommendations for underlying medical conditions," the study authors noted. "It is therefore plausible that such undertreated conditions may affect postoperative care and outcomes. Second, patients with existing psychiatric comorbidity may be more likely to undergo surgery by a lower-quality surgeon or hospital. Third, pre-existing psychiatric comorbidity may serve as an indicator for greater severity of surgical risk."
The findings suggest that surgical patients with depression or anxiety require special care.
"Until further research is completed, we recommend that surgeons caring for patients with a history of anxiety or depression seek early involvement of multidisciplinary teams to help identify problematic areas in perioperative care processes, particularly regarding issues of surgeon-patient communication and adherence to post-surgical recommendations," Abrams and colleagues concluded.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
The Threes Meme
3. Where were you 3 hours ago?
Working
3. Is there anything pink within 3 feet of you?
There is a 7-hour energy shot that has a pink bottle, there are pink post-it notes, a pink pack of gum, and two My Lil Ponies that have pink on them
3. Name the 3 scariest places in the world.
Inside my brain, anywhere my ex-husband is, and this one Oklahoma City park where old gay men go at night to hook up
3. Name the 3 loveliest sights you've seen lately.
There were some awesomely weird clouds I saw over the weekend. Sadly, that's the only thing I can think of
3. Name the top 3 Bands in the year you were born.
Well according to a Google search, the top 3 albums in 1981 were by Squeeze (whoever the hell they are), The Go-Gos, and Hall & Oates
3. Walk to your front door. Go outside and get in your car. Drive 3 miles East. Describe 3 things you saw on your way.
Well first of all, I can only drive 1/2 a mile east before having to turn because the road ends... anyways, I normally would have seen several little kids running into the street without their parents watching them, probably a drug deal or two, and at least one empty beer bottle that was left on the street the night before ... My neighborhood isn't very wonderful
3. I, Queen Mimi, have sentenced you to a 3-day diet of your most sinful cravings. What will you be partaking?
Mac & cheese pizza from CiCi's Pizza, cinnamon rolls, and cheesecake
3. Go back to question #3. Change the first word to "travel" and let me know if you survived. I'll hold a room for you in the dungeon in the meantime.
Well I've been surviving my own brain for 29 years now, despite its craziness. My ex-husband probably would have murdered me before I got to the park with the gay guys, which may actually almost be a good thing
Monday, October 18, 2010
Gene found to play key role in depression
By AFP
Scientists in the United States said they had found a gene that appears to play a key role in the onset of depression, a finding that could unlock new avenues for drug engineers.
A gene called MKP-1 was identified by Yale University investigators after comparing the genetic codes of 21 deceased people who had been diagnosed with depression with those of 18 otherwise healthy individuals.
MKP-1 plays the role of an off switch over a cascade of brain chemicals called MAPK that are crucial to the survival and function of neurons, according to the paper, which appears in the journal Nature Medicine.
"This could be a primary cause [of], or at least a major contributing factor to, the signalling abnormalities that lead to depression," said the study's lead author, Ronald Duman, a professor of psychiatry and pharmacology.
The scientists created "knockout" mice whose MKP-1 had been deactivated to explore the hunch that altering MAPK levels played a role in depression.
Mice without MKP-1 were happily resilient to stress. But stressed mice with the gene developed depression-like symptoms which were then eased by using anti-depression drugs, they found.
Depression, like many other mood disorders, is believe to have multiple causes, including genetic, for its symptoms vary widely among individuals.
As many as 40 percent of depressed patients do not respond to drugs, which are mainly based on boosting uptake of a brain chemical called serotinin.
Almost one in six Americans are afflicted by depression in any given year, and the disorder costs the US economy 100 billion dollars annually, according to figures quoted in the study.
The finding "identifies MKP-1 as a potential target for a novel class of therapeutic agents, particularly for treatment-resistant depression," Yale said in a press release.
Scientists in the United States said they had found a gene that appears to play a key role in the onset of depression, a finding that could unlock new avenues for drug engineers.
A gene called MKP-1 was identified by Yale University investigators after comparing the genetic codes of 21 deceased people who had been diagnosed with depression with those of 18 otherwise healthy individuals.
MKP-1 plays the role of an off switch over a cascade of brain chemicals called MAPK that are crucial to the survival and function of neurons, according to the paper, which appears in the journal Nature Medicine.
"This could be a primary cause [of], or at least a major contributing factor to, the signalling abnormalities that lead to depression," said the study's lead author, Ronald Duman, a professor of psychiatry and pharmacology.
The scientists created "knockout" mice whose MKP-1 had been deactivated to explore the hunch that altering MAPK levels played a role in depression.
Mice without MKP-1 were happily resilient to stress. But stressed mice with the gene developed depression-like symptoms which were then eased by using anti-depression drugs, they found.
Depression, like many other mood disorders, is believe to have multiple causes, including genetic, for its symptoms vary widely among individuals.
As many as 40 percent of depressed patients do not respond to drugs, which are mainly based on boosting uptake of a brain chemical called serotinin.
Almost one in six Americans are afflicted by depression in any given year, and the disorder costs the US economy 100 billion dollars annually, according to figures quoted in the study.
The finding "identifies MKP-1 as a potential target for a novel class of therapeutic agents, particularly for treatment-resistant depression," Yale said in a press release.
Journal entries ... earthquake, shooting, nosebleed, anxiety ....
I have been having a really difficult time getting myself to writing in this blog. I've been really struggling lately, and there's something so impersonal about typing my inner most feelings onto a computer screen. I've tried to keep a written journal many times in the past and would never really keep up with it, but I have decided that at this point in time a written private journal is probably what I need to be doing. In addition to it being hard to type my feelings, there are a few topics I can't discuss on the blog right now because of a certain jerk of an ex-husband who still reads this. I think I'll write in my journal, then type up some of the entries later to share with you guys. That why I can have a tangible thing to write in instead of staring at a computer screen and I can still write down things I need to write about in the journal that I can't share on here. (Did that sentence make sense? Oh well)
Here are a few entries from my journal. When you get to the part about the phone call that triggered an anxiety attack, I'm going to have to be very very vague and leave out details due to the aforementioned jerk...
10/10/10
I feel so lost and broken. I've never felt this lost and broken before in my entire life. I've been through so many bad things in my life, but I've always been able to have something to use to escape the pain ... Sometimes it was alcohol. Sometimes it was meaningless sex. Sometimes it was self-harm. Sometimes it was an eating disorder. Sometimes it was just pretending to be someone else. ... I don't really have any of those things now. None of that is "healthy." I turned 29 years old nine days ago, which means I'm now less than a year away from my 30's. I really don't want to enter into my 30's still carrying all the problems from my teens and 20's. I just don't know how to achieve that. I've been trying to face all my issues head-on and stop avoiding them in an attempt to overcome them, but in the end I think it's just made me worse ... or maybe it will just get worse at first then get better. I was always the queen of denial. I could bottle up my emotions and live in a blissful state of avoidance, but opening up all those old wounds and trying to actually fix them hurts so much. For the first time, I am allowing myself to feel the hurt from everything that's happened. I'm not pretending anymore. I'm afraid I tried to face too many issues all at once way too soon ... before I was ready. Trying to heal myself is killing me, or so it seems so far. I'm hoping it will be like ripping off a band-aid. Maybe the pain is unbearable initially right now, but maybe it will fade soon.
10/11/10
Sometimes I wonder if I attract nothing but needy men or if I just bring severe neediness out of the people I date. (My boyfriend) and I have been dating for 7 1/2 month now, and I'm starting to question where it's going or if it's going anywhere at all. He is by far the sanest person I've ever been with, but he's starting to become as needy as all the guys I've been with in the past. When I need space to deal with myself, which happens a lot, he needs me to be there reassuring him that everything is going to turn out okay ... He needs emotional support when I can't possibly give it. I always feel that no matter how much of myself I give to a relationship, I am never giving enough for the guy I'm seeing. I really am putting everythign into this relationship that I possibly can, but it's not enough. I'm not enough. (My boyfriend) is trying to be understanding and supportive, but I honestly feel that unless you're borderline and/or bipolar, you just can't truly understand me. ... Not that I ever want to be involved with another borderline again. I learned my lesson with (my ex-husband). Two borderlines don't make a good couple, no matter. I now believe that. The personality issues will just clash and the relationship will combust. Anyway, I love (my boyfriend). I really do, but I'm not sure I'll ever be able to give him what he needs. I'm not sure I can ever be enough.
10/15/10 (2 a.m. Friday)
The last two days were kind of a blur. Frankly, they were horrible days. They were my two days off from work this week, and they were tainted with dramatic shit. Wednesday started off with a 9 a.m. 5.1-magnitude earthquake in Norman. Most of my friends and coworkers felt it, but I didn't. I was still in bed, of course, but I was awake enough to have felt it. People as far away as Pennsylvania claimed they felt it, but I say that's bullshit. If I couldn't feel it less than 30 miles from the epicenter, I don't believe someone hundreds or thousands of miles away could feel it. So anyways, the entire state was in this crazy panic. Judging by Facebook and Twitter, no one in Oklahoma got any work done at their jobs for most of the day, well except for the journalists whose job is to talk about that stuff. I really don't get the TV crews. Somehow the TV stations always find the stupidest, redneckish people to talk on camera, who make Oklahomans look like hillbillies. (My boyfriend) wound up getting sick that afternoon and didn't feel like spending time with me. It pissed me off cause he had just went off at me the other day because I was being distant and we didn't spend enough time together. Actually I'm not sure I believe he's even sick. Frankly I'm wondering if it's a big lie to teach me some sort of lesson ... like payback for not spending time with him when he wanted to hang out.
At 8 something p.m. Wednesday night, there was a shooting outside a church in my neighborhood. It's about half a mile away from my house. People started arguing after they got out of church, and someone pulled a gun and started shooting. One man was killed, and five other people were injured. One of the people shot was an 11-year-old girl. I drive by that church at the very least two times a day. I could've easily been driving by when the person was shooting. A bullet could have hit my car. So freaky to think about. Of course, that's still not as freaky as the time a while back when there was a shooting right in front of my house one night while I was at work.
There was so much crap in my head that night that I had a lot of trouble sleeping. Then not long after I finally fell asleep for good, my phone started ringing at 8:30 a.m. For people with jobs that have daytime hours, an 8:30 call isn't that bad, but when you work the hours I do, 8:30 is more like a 4 a.m. call. I looked at the caller ID and saw it was a local number. I knew I should probably have answered it, but there was no way I could have an intelligent coversation that early so I just let it go to voicemail. I laid there for a little bit after the phone beeped to let me know the person left a voicemail, but out of curiousity I listened to the message. (After hearing who the caller was and why she was calling) I basically freaked. I have a strong tendency to have anxiety/panic attacks if something wakes me up and scares me, and of course the phone ringing that early both woke me up and scared me. I started to think about (what will happen once things go through). I went into a full anxiety attack. My heart rate raced. My heart felt like it had been clamped and was being squeezed. It was the worst anxiety attack that I've had in 7 or 8 years or more ... since college anyway. I tried all the calming techniques I've learned in therapy ... deep breathing, thinking positive thoughts, repeating a "calming" phrase over and over again, making a mental plan for what to do when (things go down) ... nothing worked. I texted (my boyfriend and friend) to talk to someone about it. It didn't work either. I just wound up being so on edge that I about jumped out of my skin each time they texted back and the phone beeped. I could've turned the sound off, but I still would've jumped each time the phone vibrated. Finally after two hours I somehow willed myself to sleep. I woke up about 12:30 p.m. but my pulse was still racing. It was so bad that my chest hurt like hell. I got up and tried to calm myself down by distracting myself with the internet and with TV ... still no luck. I went out to do some mystery shops, and finally about 5 p.m. I could feel my pulse slowing down. My heart still hurt but at least the pulse was better. I called my mom about 5:30 after she was off work and told her what happened. I normally hide these things from her because I don't want her to worry, but I told her a lot this time. She got pretty freaked out. When I was in college, my sophomore and junior years, I was on birth control and was having nose bleeds almost every day. I then started having anxiety attacks a lot. The campus doctor was really worried. Between the pill and nose bleeds, my blood pressure was through the roof, and the anxiety was making my heart race. He was extremely afraid I'd end up having a heart attack. That led me to being put on Xanax the first time. Thursday was very much like how it was in college. I'm back on the pill and having a lot of nose bleeds. Then this massive anxiety attack hit. I'm on Xanax XR now, so I take it daily. You'd think the attack wouldn't have happened when I'm on a daily controlled medicine, but it did. I told all that to my mom, but I didn't tell her that my irritable bowel syndrome has flarred up again lately and that I've been losing a lot of blood that way too. Plus, my period should be starting in the next day or two, so I'll be bleeding out of multi locations. If I had told her that, she probably would've hopped in the car, driven down here, and forced me to go to an emergency room. She did make me promise to go to a drug store and check my blood pressure pronto. So I did. I went to CVS and used their chair thing. It was 7:30 p.m. and my blood pressure was 160/92 with a pulse of 115. My normal BP is 130-140/80-82, and my pulse normally ranges from 95-100. So yeah, that is a major cause for concern. If my pulse was still at 115 almost 11 hours after the attack, I can't imagine what it was during the attack.
10/17/10
Yesterday was another shitty day. After the anxiety attack the other day, my mom told me to avoid anything that would stress me out. I told her there was no way. Drama and stress just seem to follow me. When I was about to take a shower and get ready for work, my nose started bleeding. At first I didn't think much of it because I've been getting nose bleeds a lot. But this one quickly got out of control. There was so much blood coming out. I couldn't stop it. My normal nose bleeds usually stop after 5-10 minutes, but this one was still going heavy after 20 minutes. I was starting to think I was going to have to call 9-1-1. It was a good thing I was getting ready for a shower when it happened. If I hadn't just taken off my clothes, I would have stained them horribly. I had blood all over me. Finally after 20 minutes, I just got in the shower and let it bleed out. It stopped probably 10 minutes after I got in the shower. I was freaking out so bad while it was happening. Nothing like losing a ton of blood out your nose to give you extreme anxiety. I felt so weak the rest of the day. I kept feeling like I'd faint while I was at work. Also, when you have a bad nose bleed, it's hard not to swallow some of the blood. I couldn't get the taste of blood out of my mouth for anything. And I kept coughing up some of the blood throughout the day. Not fun.
Here are a few entries from my journal. When you get to the part about the phone call that triggered an anxiety attack, I'm going to have to be very very vague and leave out details due to the aforementioned jerk...
10/10/10
I feel so lost and broken. I've never felt this lost and broken before in my entire life. I've been through so many bad things in my life, but I've always been able to have something to use to escape the pain ... Sometimes it was alcohol. Sometimes it was meaningless sex. Sometimes it was self-harm. Sometimes it was an eating disorder. Sometimes it was just pretending to be someone else. ... I don't really have any of those things now. None of that is "healthy." I turned 29 years old nine days ago, which means I'm now less than a year away from my 30's. I really don't want to enter into my 30's still carrying all the problems from my teens and 20's. I just don't know how to achieve that. I've been trying to face all my issues head-on and stop avoiding them in an attempt to overcome them, but in the end I think it's just made me worse ... or maybe it will just get worse at first then get better. I was always the queen of denial. I could bottle up my emotions and live in a blissful state of avoidance, but opening up all those old wounds and trying to actually fix them hurts so much. For the first time, I am allowing myself to feel the hurt from everything that's happened. I'm not pretending anymore. I'm afraid I tried to face too many issues all at once way too soon ... before I was ready. Trying to heal myself is killing me, or so it seems so far. I'm hoping it will be like ripping off a band-aid. Maybe the pain is unbearable initially right now, but maybe it will fade soon.
10/11/10
Sometimes I wonder if I attract nothing but needy men or if I just bring severe neediness out of the people I date. (My boyfriend) and I have been dating for 7 1/2 month now, and I'm starting to question where it's going or if it's going anywhere at all. He is by far the sanest person I've ever been with, but he's starting to become as needy as all the guys I've been with in the past. When I need space to deal with myself, which happens a lot, he needs me to be there reassuring him that everything is going to turn out okay ... He needs emotional support when I can't possibly give it. I always feel that no matter how much of myself I give to a relationship, I am never giving enough for the guy I'm seeing. I really am putting everythign into this relationship that I possibly can, but it's not enough. I'm not enough. (My boyfriend) is trying to be understanding and supportive, but I honestly feel that unless you're borderline and/or bipolar, you just can't truly understand me. ... Not that I ever want to be involved with another borderline again. I learned my lesson with (my ex-husband). Two borderlines don't make a good couple, no matter. I now believe that. The personality issues will just clash and the relationship will combust. Anyway, I love (my boyfriend). I really do, but I'm not sure I'll ever be able to give him what he needs. I'm not sure I can ever be enough.
10/15/10 (2 a.m. Friday)
The last two days were kind of a blur. Frankly, they were horrible days. They were my two days off from work this week, and they were tainted with dramatic shit. Wednesday started off with a 9 a.m. 5.1-magnitude earthquake in Norman. Most of my friends and coworkers felt it, but I didn't. I was still in bed, of course, but I was awake enough to have felt it. People as far away as Pennsylvania claimed they felt it, but I say that's bullshit. If I couldn't feel it less than 30 miles from the epicenter, I don't believe someone hundreds or thousands of miles away could feel it. So anyways, the entire state was in this crazy panic. Judging by Facebook and Twitter, no one in Oklahoma got any work done at their jobs for most of the day, well except for the journalists whose job is to talk about that stuff. I really don't get the TV crews. Somehow the TV stations always find the stupidest, redneckish people to talk on camera, who make Oklahomans look like hillbillies. (My boyfriend) wound up getting sick that afternoon and didn't feel like spending time with me. It pissed me off cause he had just went off at me the other day because I was being distant and we didn't spend enough time together. Actually I'm not sure I believe he's even sick. Frankly I'm wondering if it's a big lie to teach me some sort of lesson ... like payback for not spending time with him when he wanted to hang out.
At 8 something p.m. Wednesday night, there was a shooting outside a church in my neighborhood. It's about half a mile away from my house. People started arguing after they got out of church, and someone pulled a gun and started shooting. One man was killed, and five other people were injured. One of the people shot was an 11-year-old girl. I drive by that church at the very least two times a day. I could've easily been driving by when the person was shooting. A bullet could have hit my car. So freaky to think about. Of course, that's still not as freaky as the time a while back when there was a shooting right in front of my house one night while I was at work.
There was so much crap in my head that night that I had a lot of trouble sleeping. Then not long after I finally fell asleep for good, my phone started ringing at 8:30 a.m. For people with jobs that have daytime hours, an 8:30 call isn't that bad, but when you work the hours I do, 8:30 is more like a 4 a.m. call. I looked at the caller ID and saw it was a local number. I knew I should probably have answered it, but there was no way I could have an intelligent coversation that early so I just let it go to voicemail. I laid there for a little bit after the phone beeped to let me know the person left a voicemail, but out of curiousity I listened to the message. (After hearing who the caller was and why she was calling) I basically freaked. I have a strong tendency to have anxiety/panic attacks if something wakes me up and scares me, and of course the phone ringing that early both woke me up and scared me. I started to think about (what will happen once things go through). I went into a full anxiety attack. My heart rate raced. My heart felt like it had been clamped and was being squeezed. It was the worst anxiety attack that I've had in 7 or 8 years or more ... since college anyway. I tried all the calming techniques I've learned in therapy ... deep breathing, thinking positive thoughts, repeating a "calming" phrase over and over again, making a mental plan for what to do when (things go down) ... nothing worked. I texted (my boyfriend and friend) to talk to someone about it. It didn't work either. I just wound up being so on edge that I about jumped out of my skin each time they texted back and the phone beeped. I could've turned the sound off, but I still would've jumped each time the phone vibrated. Finally after two hours I somehow willed myself to sleep. I woke up about 12:30 p.m. but my pulse was still racing. It was so bad that my chest hurt like hell. I got up and tried to calm myself down by distracting myself with the internet and with TV ... still no luck. I went out to do some mystery shops, and finally about 5 p.m. I could feel my pulse slowing down. My heart still hurt but at least the pulse was better. I called my mom about 5:30 after she was off work and told her what happened. I normally hide these things from her because I don't want her to worry, but I told her a lot this time. She got pretty freaked out. When I was in college, my sophomore and junior years, I was on birth control and was having nose bleeds almost every day. I then started having anxiety attacks a lot. The campus doctor was really worried. Between the pill and nose bleeds, my blood pressure was through the roof, and the anxiety was making my heart race. He was extremely afraid I'd end up having a heart attack. That led me to being put on Xanax the first time. Thursday was very much like how it was in college. I'm back on the pill and having a lot of nose bleeds. Then this massive anxiety attack hit. I'm on Xanax XR now, so I take it daily. You'd think the attack wouldn't have happened when I'm on a daily controlled medicine, but it did. I told all that to my mom, but I didn't tell her that my irritable bowel syndrome has flarred up again lately and that I've been losing a lot of blood that way too. Plus, my period should be starting in the next day or two, so I'll be bleeding out of multi locations. If I had told her that, she probably would've hopped in the car, driven down here, and forced me to go to an emergency room. She did make me promise to go to a drug store and check my blood pressure pronto. So I did. I went to CVS and used their chair thing. It was 7:30 p.m. and my blood pressure was 160/92 with a pulse of 115. My normal BP is 130-140/80-82, and my pulse normally ranges from 95-100. So yeah, that is a major cause for concern. If my pulse was still at 115 almost 11 hours after the attack, I can't imagine what it was during the attack.
10/17/10
Yesterday was another shitty day. After the anxiety attack the other day, my mom told me to avoid anything that would stress me out. I told her there was no way. Drama and stress just seem to follow me. When I was about to take a shower and get ready for work, my nose started bleeding. At first I didn't think much of it because I've been getting nose bleeds a lot. But this one quickly got out of control. There was so much blood coming out. I couldn't stop it. My normal nose bleeds usually stop after 5-10 minutes, but this one was still going heavy after 20 minutes. I was starting to think I was going to have to call 9-1-1. It was a good thing I was getting ready for a shower when it happened. If I hadn't just taken off my clothes, I would have stained them horribly. I had blood all over me. Finally after 20 minutes, I just got in the shower and let it bleed out. It stopped probably 10 minutes after I got in the shower. I was freaking out so bad while it was happening. Nothing like losing a ton of blood out your nose to give you extreme anxiety. I felt so weak the rest of the day. I kept feeling like I'd faint while I was at work. Also, when you have a bad nose bleed, it's hard not to swallow some of the blood. I couldn't get the taste of blood out of my mouth for anything. And I kept coughing up some of the blood throughout the day. Not fun.
The Tag and the Tagee
Monday Mayhem- the Tag and the Tagee
1. Are you living the dream??
Yeah, I'm living a dream... a nightmare
2. Is this what you imagined your life would be like?
Not at all
3. I'm coming for dinner, what will you make for me??
I'll make a call to Pizza Hut for delivery
4. What's your favorite cuss word?
Fuck
5. Tell me one thing you would change about anyone's blog and why?
I think I'd get myself in trouble with someone if I answered that
6. What is your biggest blogging pet peeve?
People who use the Google ads because it always shows ads for the competitor of my boyfriend's business
7. What's your favorite tv show this season? I need a new show! :)
Hmm... that's hard to answer... I guess I'd have to say "The Event" since "The Gates" and "Scoundrels" ended up getting canceled. Damn ABC bastards
8. What's your favorite 'down' time {nothing computer related}?
Sleeping
Sunday, October 17, 2010
My two Post Secret favorites this week
I just checked out today's Post Secret post today, and there were only two that I really liked. I was honestly a little sad that there were only two that stood out to me. Oh well, I guess every week can't blow me away.
Another 50 Questions Meme, Part Two Indeed!
Sunday Stealing: Another 50 Questions Meme, Part Two Indeed!26. Do you like someone?
I suppose I like my boyfriend
27. The last song you listened to?
Kings of Leon's song "Sex on Fire"
28. What time of day were you born?
Um, I don't know
29. What’s your favorite number?
81
30. Where did you live in 1987?
I was 6 years old, so I lived with my parents
31. Are you jealous of anyone?
Right now my stomach hurts, so I'm jealous of anyone whose stomach isn't hurting
32. Is anyone jealous of you?
Hell if I know
33. Where were you when 9/11 happened?
Asleep in my college dorm room
34. What do you do when vending machines steal your money?
Cuss at it and sometimes hit it, then put more money in it so I still end up with my soda
35. Do you consider yourself kind?
You know, I used to be such a bitch all the time, but somehow I've lost that and I'm nice too much of the time
36. If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?
Why would I have to get a tattoo? Is there a gun to my head? That would be a weird thing to have a gunman order me to do
37. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?
Spanish, so I could know if the Hispanics around me are saying bad things about me
38. Would you move for the person you loved?
Depends on where they want me to move to
39. Are you touchy feely?
Nope. I hate being touched for the most part
40. What’s your life motto?
"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."
41. Name three things that you have on you at all times?
Cell phone, camera, debit cards
42. What’s your favourite town/city?
I don't travel at all, so honestly I haven't been to enough places to have a frame of reference for what's good or not good
43. What was the last thing you paid for with cash?
Bottle of water
44. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?
Hell if I know. It's been years
45. Can you change the oil on a car?
Nope
46. Your first love: what is the last thing you heard about him/her?
I read a Facebook status he wrote about his girlfriend farting during a romantic candlelit dinner
Edited to add:
After I did the meme, I found out that the ex-boyfriend has gotten engaged to the farter
47. How far back do you know about your ancestry?
I really don't know much at all
48. The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear and why did you dress fancy?
Well that depends on your definition of "fancy." If you're talking formal, I'd have to say my senior prom in 2000
49. Does anything hurt on your body right now?
Everything on my body hurts right now
50. Have you been burned by love?
Who hasn't?
Friday, October 15, 2010
Magnet Therapy an Option for Tough-to-Treat Depression
By HealthDay
A treatment for major depression that uses intense magnetic pulses to stimulate the brain, previously shown to reduce acute symptoms for brief periods, appears to work over the longer term when teamed with antidepressants, researchers report.
"We wanted to address the question of whether the benefit of TMS [transcranial magnetic stimulation] can be sustained over a reasonable time," said study leader Dr. Philip Janicak, a professor of psychiatry at Rush University Medical Center in Chicago. "Based on this trial, the answer is yes."
While the study is too small to be definitive, "it indicates that we can maintain the benefit of TMS over six months, and do it safely -- there were no further risks associated with the use of TMS in combination with antidepressant drugs," said Janicak.
The study was published in the October issue of Brain Stimulation.
Researchers randomly assigned 301 people diagnosed with major depression to either real or "sham" magnet therapy for six weeks. The sham treatment felt similar to the real one, but delivered very little of the pulse intensity of the real treatment.
The 142 people who received and responded to the real therapy then entered a 21-day transition phase. During this time, they were tapered off TMS and started on antidepressant medication, a standard treatment to prevent relapse.
Of those 142 people, 121 (85 percent) completed the transition phase without relapsing, and 99 agreed to enter a 24-week, follow-up study.
During this six-month period, only 10 of the 99 (10 percent) relapsed. Of 38 people whose symptoms worsened, requiring additional TMS sessions, 32 of them (84 percent) improved and avoided relapse. Altogether, 75 percent maintained full response to the treatment.
The study provides valuable information, said Tony Tang, an adjunct professor of psychology at Northwestern University. "We now know that with two safeguards in place -- one, that TMS responders are put on maintenance antidepressant medication, and two, they receive additional TMS treatments if their symptoms worsen -- TMS can work" for an extended period, he said.
Because depression tends to recur, it is important to consider any treatment's long-term performance, added Tang. "In that regard, the best treatment is high-quality CBT [cognitive behavioral therapy]. CBT works as well as maintenance antidepressant medications in preventing relapses, but without the side effects and costs of long-term medication." But if neither CBT nor antidepressants work, TMS may be an option, he said.
In TMS, an electromagnetic coil placed on the head delivers brief magnetic pulses through the scalp and into the part of the brain linked to depression, the left prefrontal cortex. The pulses, about as strong as those in a standard MRI scan, stimulate the nerve cells in that region. It's thought that this stimulation "resets" electrical activity in this region, thereby improving depression.
A study of 190 people with major depression published earlier this year, which also compared real and sham TMS, found that the real thing significantly improved major depression in those who hadn't been helped by antidepressants. In that study, after three weeks of treatment, 14 percent of people who received real magnet therapy recovered from their depression, compared to 5 percent of those who received the sham treatment.
In 2008, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration approved the first TMS device to treat depression in adults who weren't helped by at least one antidepressant. Treatments last about 40 minutes and are given five days a week for four to six weeks. Magnet therapy can cause mild side effects, including headaches and discomfort at the coil site.
Some 250 treatment centers around the country offer magnet therapy. People are either referred by their doctor or are evaluated by a center to determine their suitability for the treatment.
Since TMS isn't typically covered by health insurance, most people pay out of pocket. Standard treatments cost $7,000 to $12,000. However, some insurance companies will pay for the treatment after an internal review, and at least three insurance groups cover it on a policy-wide basis, said Janicak.
The study was funded by Neuronetics, Inc., which makes the TMS device used in the study.
A treatment for major depression that uses intense magnetic pulses to stimulate the brain, previously shown to reduce acute symptoms for brief periods, appears to work over the longer term when teamed with antidepressants, researchers report.
"We wanted to address the question of whether the benefit of TMS [transcranial magnetic stimulation] can be sustained over a reasonable time," said study leader Dr. Philip Janicak, a professor of psychiatry at Rush University Medical Center in Chicago. "Based on this trial, the answer is yes."
While the study is too small to be definitive, "it indicates that we can maintain the benefit of TMS over six months, and do it safely -- there were no further risks associated with the use of TMS in combination with antidepressant drugs," said Janicak.
The study was published in the October issue of Brain Stimulation.
Researchers randomly assigned 301 people diagnosed with major depression to either real or "sham" magnet therapy for six weeks. The sham treatment felt similar to the real one, but delivered very little of the pulse intensity of the real treatment.
The 142 people who received and responded to the real therapy then entered a 21-day transition phase. During this time, they were tapered off TMS and started on antidepressant medication, a standard treatment to prevent relapse.
Of those 142 people, 121 (85 percent) completed the transition phase without relapsing, and 99 agreed to enter a 24-week, follow-up study.
During this six-month period, only 10 of the 99 (10 percent) relapsed. Of 38 people whose symptoms worsened, requiring additional TMS sessions, 32 of them (84 percent) improved and avoided relapse. Altogether, 75 percent maintained full response to the treatment.
The study provides valuable information, said Tony Tang, an adjunct professor of psychology at Northwestern University. "We now know that with two safeguards in place -- one, that TMS responders are put on maintenance antidepressant medication, and two, they receive additional TMS treatments if their symptoms worsen -- TMS can work" for an extended period, he said.
Because depression tends to recur, it is important to consider any treatment's long-term performance, added Tang. "In that regard, the best treatment is high-quality CBT [cognitive behavioral therapy]. CBT works as well as maintenance antidepressant medications in preventing relapses, but without the side effects and costs of long-term medication." But if neither CBT nor antidepressants work, TMS may be an option, he said.
In TMS, an electromagnetic coil placed on the head delivers brief magnetic pulses through the scalp and into the part of the brain linked to depression, the left prefrontal cortex. The pulses, about as strong as those in a standard MRI scan, stimulate the nerve cells in that region. It's thought that this stimulation "resets" electrical activity in this region, thereby improving depression.
A study of 190 people with major depression published earlier this year, which also compared real and sham TMS, found that the real thing significantly improved major depression in those who hadn't been helped by antidepressants. In that study, after three weeks of treatment, 14 percent of people who received real magnet therapy recovered from their depression, compared to 5 percent of those who received the sham treatment.
In 2008, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration approved the first TMS device to treat depression in adults who weren't helped by at least one antidepressant. Treatments last about 40 minutes and are given five days a week for four to six weeks. Magnet therapy can cause mild side effects, including headaches and discomfort at the coil site.
Some 250 treatment centers around the country offer magnet therapy. People are either referred by their doctor or are evaluated by a center to determine their suitability for the treatment.
Since TMS isn't typically covered by health insurance, most people pay out of pocket. Standard treatments cost $7,000 to $12,000. However, some insurance companies will pay for the treatment after an internal review, and at least three insurance groups cover it on a policy-wide basis, said Janicak.
The study was funded by Neuronetics, Inc., which makes the TMS device used in the study.
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