Stupid Questions

Monday Mayhem's Stupid Questions

1. How and why does one become a modern day pirate?

Well according to eHow:

1. Decide on a name. You can either use one of the many internet quizzes or think of one yourself. Names sometimes focus on a physical attribute or use a nasty adjective (e.g., dirty, rotten). Read up on some of your favorite pirates for inspiration. Have fun with it.
2. Learn the colloquial sayings. September 19th is Talk Like a Pirate Day, and basic pirate language can be found and referenced on the site. Feel free to do research beyond what they have listed, but this is a good place to start. Learn a new word everyday. Learn a song or two.
3. Take a fencing class. Sword play is a staple of any pirate's life, so branch out and learn the basics of fencing. Not only will you learn some combat skills, but it is also a great work-out.
4. Learn how to sail. Take a sailing class or go sailing with a friend. Learn the vocabulary of the ship parts, directions and movements of the ocean.
5. Get acquainted with the sea. Visit the ocean and spend some time getting to know the sights and smells.
6. Decide on a wardrobe, hair style and weapon of choice. Research fashions of pirates in the past as well as the pirates in the movies. Take inspiration from them and create your own look.
7. Show off your new skills! Visit a Renaissance Faire or one of several pirate festivals held around the year across the country. St. Petersburg, Florida, and Ojai, California, are two of many cities that offer festivals year round. Can't find one near you? Organize your fellow pirate-lovers and have your own festival!

As to why someone would do it... who knows?

2. What would happen if a government actually balanced it's budget? Could it actually ever happen?
I doubt it will ever happen. I think we're already too screwed to ever make it balanced

3. What do you think of this "Royal Wedding" stuff?
I don't give a crap about it

4. Is Gaga really a Madonna-wanna-be? Or is she her own phenomena?
Lady Gaga is a freak. Madonna is a ... well... I have no idea what she is, but they're totally different

5. What do swimsuits actually have to do with a Sports Magazine?
Well swimming can be a sport, but many of the swimsuits in magazines would never work for professional swimming. Basically it's just a way for Sports Illustrated to make money

6.  What is the stupidest thing you witnessed this past week?
Me saying "I have nothing against goats. I just don't like their cheese" at work

7. What is an "Ugly American"? Are they really uglier than other people?
George W Bush is an ugly American

8. If you could name your new virtual pet anything you wanted to, what would you name it?
I have a PetVille pet on Facebook named Binky. I really don't know why I named it that. It was the first thing that came to me

9. Is winter (or whatever season you are in at the moment) really over?  How would you even  know?
I live in Oklahoma. Our weather is so crazy that you don't know what the weather is going to be five hours from now. It changes so often. I hope winter is over, but I'm not going to venture a guess at whether it's over or not

10. Make up a new word to replace any 'four letter word' and share it with us in a sentence so we can use it too. You don't have to tell us what the 'four letter word is'. We can guess it.
I would love to sneezledorff Ryan Reynolds