Love yourself to shake drugs or addictions

By McClatchy-Tribune News Service

Are you becoming a slave to pills, alcohol or pot?

What many people don't understand is that sensitive, kind and caring people are more likely to become hooked on painkillers, narcotics or any type of “feel good” substances.

“I've been a psychologist for 20 years,” says Mark, a friend of ours. “People who are aggressive and harsh don't seem to be as susceptible to going down the drug road.”

Those who abuse substances are typically more sensitive to their surroundings and to other people's opinions, Mark declares.

“Think of artists, writers and musicians, for example,” says Mark. “They open themselves up to absorbing life. I know many who are better at their respective crafts because they are open to deeper thoughts, feelings, beauty. But, they can feel the sting of criticism very deeply.”

It's important to toughen up by learning to think wisely. Whatever is digging into your soul — prompting you to numb the pain — is probably a series of bad thoughts and experiences.

Changing means you've got to get a new perspective on how you talk to yourself.

“I have so many patients who had a nitwit uncle or a loudmouth father who kept telling them what a zero they were,” says Mark. “I help my patients brag on themselves and build themselves up.”

If you need to stop deadening your pain to lost love, hurt from childhood, or crazy thinking you impose upon yourself, try a different approach. Start listening to what you tell yourself.

“No one can interfere with your positive self-talk,” Mark emphasizes. “Make the changes inside your own head and watch how fast you start to heal. I would encourage you to get into a recovery program, too, of course.”

Try these exercises to change your inner dialogue:

• Start talking positively to yourself. Do this all day long until it becomes a habit. Tell yourself, “I will find a job. I will kick these drugs.”
• Let go of the past. Release all people and pain who've hurt you. Live in the moment to start a new inner dialogue. Keep telling yourself you can live a healthy life.
• Act in a winning way. If you walk like a winner, talk like a winner and behave like a winner, you will start to attract the right people into your life.

“Your conversation with others and yourself will shape your entire life,” says Mark.

People addicted to alcohol, spending money, food, or whatever are usually sensitive people with a basket full of pain, according to a woman in recovery we'll call Angie.

“I found out under my counselor's guidance that addicts numb themselves to avoid pain they can't talk about,” Angie emphasizes. “When you change your inner dialogue, you can talk about the pain, too. You don't have to pretend life is a bed of roses.”

Angie had been raped by her father and three brothers before the age of 12. “I've had to work hard to keep myself sane,” says Angie. “But, I focus on the fact I am a good and worthy person.”

She goes on to say that she's kicked drugs and cigarettes. “I talk about my pain with a counselor twice a month. I don't need to cover up the pain anymore,” she points out.

“Brand new conversation, new activities and new friends will make you feel you're getting a new start,” Angie declares. “The voice inside your head, if it's upbeat and kind, is the most powerful drug on earth. It's free, and no one can take it away from you.”