BPD in OKC: Two borderline poems

Mature audiences only

You have no doubt seen or heard the commercials: "Where does depression hurt? EVERYWHERE. Who does depression hurt? EVERYONE." Mental illnesses can consume you, take over your entire life and hurt everyone around you if you let it. I am no exception.

My life feels like I am stuck riding on a rollercoaster in the middle of a hurricane. I have ups and downs, and I have left a path of destruction in my wake. My sanity dangles on a tiny fragile string, and through this blog I am giving the world a look into my broken mind and my unstable life.

In the end, I am just a girl trying to maintain my sanity in a candy-coated world of misery. Here you'll get a glimpse at just how true those commercials are. Keep your arms and legs inside the blog at all times, hold on tight, and prepare yourself for a very bumpy ride ...

Feel free to comment here on the blog or email me at bpdokc@yahoo.com.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Two borderline poems

I wrote these little poems in the middle of the night last night to explain how I am feeling when it comes to how bad the borderline is right now.

"Who?"

Am I me?
Am I her?
Am I who you want me to be?
I can barely remember
Who I am supposed to be today.
I'm here.
She's here.
But who's in charge?
Who is it that everyone
Is supposed to see?
It surely isn't really me.
She's better.
I am worse.
I want to be her.
She wants to overtake me.
Why am I fighting?
Why am I trapping her inside?
If I let her out,
Will I get lost inside?
Will I be better with her outside?
Two people,
One body,
One shattered mind.

"Trapped"

Trapped inside
Screaming to get out

Shattered reflection
Dying from inside out

Broken images
Haunting in my mind

Scared girl
Trying to be kind

Bloody razor
Tearing through skin

Painful tears
Revealing my secret sins

1 comments:

Saracide said...: I LOVE these. Truly.
It expresses how I feel frequently.

I have even gone so far as to name "her." Hah :); Thu Jun 30, 07:24:00 PM CDT