Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?

Saturday 9: Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?

1. Have you ever been in a situation with a lover where you did not know what tomorrow would bring?
When I was married to my ex-husband, he was extremely abusive and I never knew what to expect

2. What worries you most today?
Work was so stressful Saturday night... Urgh

3. Could I tell if you were lying to me?
No, I'm an excellent actress. No one ever knows when I'm lying

4. What do you miss most about the 80s?
Being a child

5. What's going on that you can't understand?
I keep zoning out mentally. I keep dissociating from myself

6. How would I know if you liked me?
I'd run away screaming ... seriously that's what I normally do

7. If you ever won an award, what would you want it to be for?
 I'd rather just win the lottery instead of an award

8. What would we be surprised to know that you've done?
 I often pretend I'm pregnant and go to a Babies R Us and sign up for a baby registry whenever they release coupons to get a free gift card when you register there. Right now I think I'm pregnant with 7 babies in their computer system and have 5 newborns according to them. It's probably unethical in many people's opinions, but I feel like if the stores are stupid enough to put out those coupons but not check your driver's license, then they're just asking for me to do it

9. What’s the most exotic mixed drink you remember trying? Did you enjoy it?
It's not really "exotic," but I love mixing Mike's Hard Lemonade with Mountain Dew. It's awesome

Bringing Partner Into Anorexia Treatment May Aid Recovery

By HealthDay

Margie Hodgin of Turnersville, N.C., was in her early forties when she developed anorexia nervosa, and she knows how isolating the condition can be.

"In the middle of a disorder like that, you don't know how to explain your feelings to those around you," she said.

Luckily, Hodgin sought the care of a therapist who suggested a new and often effective treatment: an intensive counseling program that also involved Hodgin's husband.

She said the program, called Uniting Couples (in the treatment of) Anorexia Nervosa (UCAN), was probably more effective -- both for her own recovery and her marriage -- than other outpatient programs she had gone to alone because she and her husband could get "down and dirty" about what was going on.

"It opened a lot of channels," recalled Hodgin, now 47. "I had a lot of shame and embarrassment. It changed our relationship from almost a parent-child relationship and put us more on an even standing where we were partners again."

Her successful recovery from anorexia while on the program isn't unique. In fact, over a six-month span, researcher Cynthia M. Bulik and her colleagues saw only a 5 percent dropout rate among the 13 couples enrolled in UCAN. In contrast, traditional anorexia therapy typically has a 25 percent to 40 percent dropout rate, according to Bulik.

Participants' body mass indexes (BMIs) also increased more after three months than those typically observed among patients in traditional programs, the researchers found.

Bulik was scheduled to present her findings on the UCAN program Thursday at the International Conference on Eating Disorders in Miami.

Typically considered an adolescent disorder, anorexia -- marked by extreme weight loss and intense fear of becoming fat -- is increasingly common among midlife women, many of whom are in committed relationships, Bulik pointed out.

With traditional, individual therapy, about 25 percent of anorexia patients recover completely, 25 percent experience chronic relapses and the other half achieve only a partial recovery, she added. About 5 percent of patients die.

In the meantime, the partners of people struggling with eating disorders "always want to help, but they don't know how," said Bulik, who is director of the University of North Carolina Eating Disorders Program in Chapel Hill and a professor in the school's psychiatry department. "No matter what they say, they feel like it's taken wrong," she explained. "So finally I feel we're leveraging the power of the partnership."

Couples in the program had been together an average of nine years, and 77 percent were married. The UCAN regimen involved 22 couples sessions, weekly individual psychotherapy visits, monthly psychiatry visits and eight dietitian sessions.

Though anorexia can strike both genders, it's far more prevalent in women, who comprised all of UCAN's patients and were an average 32 years of age.

The program tackled the overall marital distress, poor communication and high levels of sexual concerns among couples in which a partner had anorexia, along with ways to prevent relapse. Because an anorexic person's behavior -- which can include starvation, binging and purging -- is dangerous, Bulik said, it creates a wall of secrecy between partners. At the same time, the healthy partner often takes on an unnatural role, constantly monitoring the anorexic partner's behaviors.

What results is akin to "a 'don't-ask, don't tell' policy. What anorexia likes to do is put a kind of electric fence around [the illness]," Bulik said. "Why is our program effective? Because there are no secrets. Each partner talks about what their experience is. It comes out in the open."

A couple's sexual relationship often suffers when one partner seriously struggles with her body image, Bulik said. But UCAN prompts couples to discuss physical affection and sex and develop possible ways to enhance these aspects.

One expert said the couples approach certainly might help some patients.

"Body image is certainly part of it, but control is an equally big part of it," said Dr. Doug Klamp, an internist and eating disorders specialist in Scranton, Pa. "So having a third party involved is extremely important."

"You've got a natural conflict," Klamp added. "They feel they're fat, and their partner is supposed to praise them. So the more structured approach can be very helpful."

Happy Together Tour

1. Who was the last person you thought about day and night?
Is it totally conceited to say myself?

2. What was the last movie you made out to?
I used to make out to movies all the time. I think I'm to the point in my life where if I pay to watch a movie, I want to actually watch it. Forget the making out

3. Has someone ever left another person to be with you?
I'm normally the person who ends up getting dumped when someone decides to go off and be with someone else

4. What song did you love to hear in your most recent relationship?
George Strait's "The Breath You Take"

5. Who is the most perplexing celebrity to you?
Right now it's Prince William & Kate .... who gives a shit about their wedding, really?

6. What’s been kind of a drag for you lately?
 Work

7. How do you react to a break up?
I normally go on a manic fit and do something insane with my hair ... like cut it all off, dye it a crazy color, etc

8. What is the worst downwind you have ever been in?
I live in tornado alley so I'm in really bad wind a lot

9. What do you do when you’re overly happy?
Dance around my house in tshirt and underwear

10. How are you different from your significant other?
 He's normally much more laid back about life than me. I'm a bundle of stress and anxiety always, and he's normally pretty relaxed

11. What is your confession this week?
One of my bathroom sinks was clogging up for weeks. It was totally driving me crazy, but I was too lazy to deal with it. The other day, I finally got around to buying some Drano to clear out the drain. It didn't help, so I had to reach down in there. It turns out I had dropped the lid of a perfume bottle down the drain and that's why it was clogging up. I feel stupid

12. Do you believe we should still have Miss America pageants?
I think pageants are retarded

13. Have you ever cut your hair or shaved a mustache/beard for someone else?
Not "for" someone but because of someone. See question #7

NursingSchools.Net just posted a list on its blog of what they feel is the 10 best movies about mental health. Three of my favorite movies -- "Girl Interrupted," "The Virgin Suicides," and "Wristcutters: A Love Story" -- made the list. I also think "Prozac Nation" belongs on the list.

There are several of the movies on the list that I've never seen. I guess I should check them out sometime.

What do you think? What movies about mental health do you love (either on this list or not)?

The 10 Best Movies About Mental Health

 By NursingSchools.Net

Accurately depicting mental illnesses — not to mention the psychology and psychiatry professions as a whole — in the media is apparently a daunting task. Most tend to lean towards the sensational for the added drama, but unfortunately end up perpetuating stigmas against the disordered. Even the more sensitive ones still veer into wallbanging territory from time to time. Picking out the 10 best was, of course, a thoroughly subjective task. So please refrain from taking any offense to certain inclusions or exclusions. Leave the high blood pressure for genuine injustices rather than some internet article, OK? OK!

1.One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest: Probably the absolutely quintessential film about psychiatric care, this adaptation of Ken Kesey's classic novel brings to light many of the patient abuses he witnessed while working as a mental health hospital orderly. Things may have improved since the 1960s and 1970s, but many of the condescending, dismissive and downright cruel attitudes towards those with mental illnesses (as chillingly represented by Nurse Ratched) unfortunately persist today. Now a thoroughly respected, oft-referenced film completely independent of its literary origins, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest remains a must-see for anyone interested in the history of treating psychiatric disorders through a fictional lens.


2.Antichrist: Following the death of their young son, a grieving mother and father isolate themselves from the world and become embroiled in sex, violence, depression and self-destruction. Not inherently about clinical depression or bipolar disorder, but rather the erratic mental state that settles in alongside trauma, it does shed light into how some individuals experience the conditions. Psychology and psychiatric care both factor significantly into both the plot and character development. The mother, known only as She, represents the more primal emotions associated with the grief process. While not a general symbol of how such situations outwardly manifest in the real world, the overwhelming emotions boiling beneath the surface might seem familiar to anyone intensely struggling inside.

3.Girl, Interrupted: Based on the memoir by Susanna Kaysen's memoir of the same name, Girl, Interrupted chronicles the life of a suicidal woman interred in a mental health facility for her own safety. For over a year, she forms a small coterie with other patients, resists therapy and deals with traumas outside the hospital. But when her issues spiral past the event horizon, the psych ward siren finally displays the drive to take recovery seriously. Both the book and the film candidly discuss the ins and outs of both depression — most especially the form involving suicidal behaviors — and borderline personality disorder. Considering so many in mainstream society don't know about or fully understand the condition, taking the time to grow absorbed in this movie might very well prove a valuable educational experience.

4.The Virgin Suicides: Sofia Coppola's adaptation of Jeffrey Eugenides' debut novel perfectly preserved the tragic pressure central to its characters, plot and overall theme. Religious fanatic parents suspend their five daughters in a perpetual state of childish naivete sheltering them from all the pleasures and the pains the world has to offer. Such a lifestyle initiates increasingly desperate, erratic rebellions, most especially in eldest child Lux. Though ultimately a tragic tale (the title pretty much spoils everything), it does delve considerably into how untreated depression and stifling parenting might end up manifesting themselves externally.


5.The Informant!: The Informant! blends corporate espionage with pitch-black comedy. An adaptation of the infamous Mark Whitacre's very real whistleblowing on lysine price-fixing, the bizarre twist stems directly from his battle with bipolar disorder. The film depicts him as a m–lange of repugnancy and sympathy, touching upon on Whitacre's delusions and how they fed into his bizarre, brilliant, thoroughly unethical scheming. Not everyone with bipolar disorder operates in such a manner, of course, but nevertheless the narrative does reflect some common ways it might present itself. Considering the main character's proclivities, it also appears as if he might sport more than a few traits of sociopathy and narcissism.

6.Wristcutters: A Love Story: Set in a purgatory state where suicide victims drift about a life more somber than the one they voluntarily sloughed off. A teen discovers his ex-girlfriend suffered the same fate, and he embarks on an oneiric, deeply psychological journey to find her. Bizarrely romantic, Wristcutters: A Love Story approaches its delicate subject matter with a lauded blend of humor and insight. Like most psychological phenomena, the narrative presented here cannot be interpreted as universal to all experiencing it. But nevertheless, it does sensitively dissect the myriad reasons why the depressed and desperate oftentimes perceive death as the only escape from pain.


7.The Soloist: Between 20% to 40% of the homeless population is comprised of the mentally ill with few options, and The Soloist peers into the compelling biography of one such individual. Nathaniel Ayers enjoyed a promising start as a brilliant bassist (cellist in the movie for some reason), but succumbed to the ravages of schizophrenia. He ended up homeless and floundering in obscurity until a journalist finally crosses his path. Both men find themselves reaching out and trying to improve the other, and today Ayers continues to perform and works as an activist giving hope, support and opportunities to mentally ill musicians.


8.Psycho: One of Alfred Hitchcock's most iconic, oft-parodied films — based on a book, natch — takes a walk on the darker side of mental health. By no means representative of the entire community, it does showcase the small sliver of the population whose diagnoses directly lead to violence. In this case, dissociative identity disorder takes center stage in the spine-tingling tale of Norman Bates and his "mother." Fans of Freudian psychology will especially find plenty to discuss about the way the two personalities battle for dominance and control within the mind of one truly suffering man.


9.All About Eve: All About Eve may not be explicitly about mental illness, but the eponymous antagonist displays all the searing signs of sociopathic, narcissistic behavior. To Eve, usurping a rival starlet by passive-aggressively pursuing her career and life alike — including a handsome boyfriend — sounds like a perfectly reasonable plan of action. She lacks any sort of conscience and believes that her ends justify such selfish, reaching needs. At no point does she pause to think about how her machinations might negatively impact those around her, most especially the actress who takes her in as an assistant and protege. All of these signs point to a severely mentally ill individual, though the film itself does not really touch upon that element. Despite that, though, it still serves as an interesting lesson in such a diagnosis.


10.Lars and the Real Girl: Sweet-natured but emotionally and mentally damaged Lars Lindstrom grew up with a distant father, avoidant brother and the crushing guilt of his mother dying giving birth to him. Diagnosed with a delusional disorder, he seeks solace in the arms of his dream woman, Bianca…who just so happens to be a Real Doll. Rather than portraying owners of the sexual aids as shameless perverts trapped in a perpetual state of arrested development, Lars exudes sympathy and realistic motives for his unusual behavior. Diagnosed as delusional and depressive, he attaches to Bianca out of fear. He withdraws from people who love him — not to mention a woman who very much hopes to someday — and runs towards something incapable of making the hurt worse. While some of the featured strategies behind his treatment will raise more than a few eyebrows, in the end it still provides an interesting glimpse into some mental illnesses.

Kittens with mittens and barking dogs

1. Did you have a sugar overdose this past weekend?
I have sugar overdoses every day

2. What was the last thing you bought off of Ebay?
I bought a few baseball caps for my younger brother's Christmas present back in December

3. Springtime means bare feet. At least around here. Think about the last long walk you took, on purpose or not, how far did you walk?
It was across the Walmart parking lot

4. You pull into someone's driveway. Four large German Shepards come to your car. They are barking, but not in a "I'm going to tear your jugular out" kind of way. What do you do?
I roll down my window and throw out some of the dog treats I have permanently stored in my car. Then I would get out and try to pet them

5. What do you own the most of?
Clothes. I technically have 4 closets worth, but only wear about 5% of it 

6. Did you hear there is a Royal Wedding this week? What is the most obnoxious wedding you have attended? And we wanna know why it was so obnoxious. The word "obnoxious" is defined any way you want it to be... expensive, ugly dresses, stupid guests... whatever.
All weddings are obnoxious in some way

7. Which one of the dwarfs that Snow White hung around with is your favorite? Which one do you think you are most like?
I like Grumpy. I think most people would say I'm most like him

8. If I were to hand you an orange, how would you get the peel off?
I wouldn't. I don't like oranges

9. Sometimes a person just doesn't think of these things - do you think Adam & Eve had a belly button?
 I've actually thought about that before. They were supposedly made in God's image, so it depends on if God had a belly button

10. Those little kittens lost their mittens. Why do kittens have mittens anyway?
Probably because they don't like to get their paws wet

Does our lurid curiosity drive news coverage of mental illness?

By Christine Stapleton
The Palm Beach Post

I watched "Entertainment Tonight" because they had NEW PICTURES OF CATHERINE ZETA-JONES IN HER BIPOLAR NIGHTMARE!

The weird thing is the NEW PICTURES OF CATHERINE ZETA-JONES IN HER BIPOLAR NIGHTMARE look a lot like the old pictures of Catherine Zeta-Jones when she was not in her bipolar nightmare. She looked like her usual gorgeous, composed self.

What were the folks at "ET" expecting Catherine Zeta-Jones to look like -- Courtney Love on a bad hair day?

There are millions of people with bipolar disorder. The vast majority look and act just like everyone else when we take care of ourselves and follow our treatment regimens.

Still, one of the biggest problems we face is stigma. When the media cherry-pick specific illnesses, such as AIDS or bipolar disorder, and then feigns compassion for its victims while spoon-feeding us gossip and innuendo, we should feel a twinge of shame. But we do not.

What do we do when the media dish up salacious coverage of crimes fueled by mental illness? We pick the longest line in the grocery store and read the tabloids. I am not saying that these crimes or celebrity health crises should not be covered. The public is inherently curious.

There is nothing wrong with wondering how and why a malfunction or illness in the brain can wreak so much havoc, violence and turmoil.

That's the stuff that fuels the brilliant scientists whose research has helped so many.

But it is how the media often answer these questions that really bugs me. It may be nothing more than the inflection in the voice of a show's host or the position of a story on a newscast. It can be the two or three photos selected from hundreds to show a person at their worst. 911 tapes. CAPITAL LETTERS. Exclamation points! We eat it up.

It is a chicken-or-egg debate. Did our lust for news about the mentally ill come from the media's sensational coverage or is the media merely responding to market research and our lurid curiosity?

Don't answer that. Just change the channel.

Antidepressants Work Overall, But Some Symptoms May Persist

By HealthDay 

Antidepressants may not improve all symptoms of depression, according to a new study.

Researchers analyzed data from a U.S. National Institute of Mental Health-sponsored study of depression treatment, which involved more than 4,000 people with major depression around the country and is the largest study on depression treatment to date.

While antidepressant medications worked in general, all patients taking them reported three to 13 residual symptoms, and 75 percent reported five or more residual symptoms.

These symptoms included insomnia that occurs in the middle of the night (79 percent); sadness (nearly 71 percent), and problems with concentration and decision-making (nearly 70 percent), said the researchers at UT Southwestern Medical Center in Dallas.

"Widely used antidepressant medications, while working overall, missed these symptoms. If patients have persistent residual symptoms, these individuals have a high probability of incomplete recovery," lead author Dr. Shawn McClintock, an assistant professor of psychiatry, said in a medical center news release.

However, suicidal thoughts discontinued in nearly all cases, the release said.

McClintock said it will be important to develop antidepressants that decrease the other depressive symptoms, and to explore the link between depression and concentration.

The study appears in the April issue of the Journal of Clinical Psychopharmacology.

Depression, which affects about 19 million adults in the United States a year, can increase the risk of heart disease, diabetes, asthma and obesity.

The 5000 Question Meme, The Seventh Part

201. Put these creatures in order from what you would least like to be reincarnated as (1), to what you would most like to be reincarnated as (10) assuming reincarnation ended up existing AND you were given a choice.
1) Vulture, 2) Manta Ray, 3) Caterpillar, 4) Rock, 5) Oak tree, 6) Wild dog, 7) Male human, 8) Dolphin, 9) Female human, 10) House dog

202. What do you feel unworthy of?
Love

203. Would you rather be remembered for having done something for humanity or being a really nice person?
Something I did for humanity

204. Which do you value more: science or intuition?
Science

205. Your best friend and your significant other are in the hospital at the same time with the same ailment. Who do you visit first?
My boyfriend. He'd need me more

206. Does the universe revolve around human beings?
My universe revolves around my dogs... :D

207. Do you wish you still were a virgin?
I don't really want to go back to being a virgin, but I would like to forget all my past sexual experiences

208. Who is your favorite poet of those who are alive right now?
Not to toot my own horn, but I love my own poems the most

209. What is your favorite song from the 90's?
That may honestly be the hardest question I've ever had to answer on one of these memes. There are so many songs I loved. I think I'm going to have to go with Meredith Brooks' song "What would happen"

210. If you were in alphabet soup what letter would you be?
S ... I like its curves

211. Do you believe in fairies, ghosts, aliens, angels, dwarves, elves, etc.?
I don't really believe in any of them, but they make good TV/movies sometimes

212. What makes you want to be someone’s friend?
I like sarcastic people

213. Do you troll around the Internet harassing people anonymously for fun?
I have before but not recently

214. Have you ever seen the movie A Man Who Fell to Earth?
Can't say I have

215. What is your favorite line from a movie?
This rant by Kathryn in "Cruel Intentions" has always been my favorite movie quote: "Eat me, Sebastian! It's okay for guys like you and Court to fuck everyone. But when I do it, I get dumped for innocent little twits like Cecile. God forbid, I exude confidence and enjoy sex. Do you think I relish the fact that I have to act like Mary Sunshine 24/7 so I can be considered a lady? I'm the Marcia fucking Brady of the Upper East Side, and sometimes I want to kill myself. So there's your psychoanalysis, Dr. Freud. Now tell me, are you in... or are you out?"

This video is the best version I can find of the rant. I wish I could find a good clip ...

216. What's your favorite video game?
My favorite game of all time was "Zombies Ate My Neighbors" ... I had it clear back when I was a teenager on my brother's Super Nintendo

217. Have you ever taken something that wasn't yours?
I used to steal little things for the rush of it

218. What is one phrase people say that irritates you?
"I'm sorry" when they have no control over whatever they are apologizing for

219. You allow strangers to read your blog, but would you let your parents read it?
I'm pretty honest with my mom, but I think she'd be horrified by the things I've written on here

220. Hot steamy bubble bath or quick in and out shower?
If I'm tired and need a quick wake-up, I need a hot shower, but I really love bubble baths

221. Are you allergic to anything?
I'm allergic to latex, most things with fragrances added (lotions, some shampoos, some laundry detergents, dryer sheets), many perfumes/colognes. I also have tons of seasonal allergies and I'm allergic to pet dander

222. What is your favorite Terminator movie?
I've never seen any of them

223. What is your favorite fast food?
Right now I'm partial to the Beefy 5-Layer Burritos at Taco Bell

224. What would someone have to do to get you to never speak to him or her again?
Cheat on me

225. Would (or have) you ever whip someone or be whipped by someone in bed?
I own a couple small whips. I've had them for years. Mostly I just whipped people for fun during drinking parties. I don't mind mixing a little pain with my sex though

226. Have you ever said 'I hate everyone' and really meant it literally?
I say that almost every day

227. Why do some people want to get more money than they could ever spend?
Because they're greedy, obviously

228. Have you ever won a carnival fish?
I don't remember ever even trying

229. Did it live more than a week?
N/A

230. What's the best sounding accent a person can have?
I don't like accents at all

231. What's the most boring thing you've ever read?
Honestly? The Bible

232. Do you prefer buttons or touch screens?
Buttons

233. Do you think there is a lot of similarity between the Harry Potter books and the Lord of the Rings series?
Never read any of them

234. Would you consider yourself to be naive?
No, I wish I was naive sometimes

235. Which of your friends is most likely to go to jail?
There is one I could imagine getting arrested for getting too touchy-feely with a male stripper

236. What is the smallest amount of money that could be in a public toilet that would make you reach in and grab it?
$5 ... Does that make me gross?

237. Would you ever wear real fur?
No. I have a strong feeling I'd be allergic to it

238. Arachnophobia or Eight Legged Freaks?
Ergh, neither

239. What are your feelings about police officers?
They are normally useless when you're getting the hell beaten out of you by your husband

240. what is your favorite line from a song?
That's another really hard one. I'd have to say: "I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut. My weakness is that I care too much. My scars remind me that the past is real. I tear my heart open just to feel" from Papa Roach's song "Scars"

241. Is fifty dollars a lot of money?
It is when you're broke... which means for me, it's a lot of money

242. Do you like the band Front 242?
Never heard of them before this question

243. Would you rather have fame, money, or self-satisfaction?
Money

244. What's your middle name?
Renee

245. What is the absolute limit, the craziest thing you would do for a million dollars?
Damn, there isn't much I wouldn't do for that amount of money

246. Are you good, evil or neutral?
As Rihanna says in her song "S&M" ... "I may be bad But I’m perfectly good at it"

247. Should ebonics be considered a language?
No, absolutely not

248. What color is your bedroom? What color would you like it to be?
Off white and I'm fine with that

249. When are you planning to move to a new home?
As soon as I can figure out the finances ... or when I get married .... whichever comes first

250. If you added up the cost of everything in the room with you, approximately what would it come out to be? 
Um, $7,000, maybe? I'm in my front room/living room/dining room ... I have no idea really

251. Do you blow your nose in public?
If you gotta blow, you gotta blow

252. Do you want to follow in your parent's footsteps?
Nope

253. What is the coolest web site you know of?
Can I plug my "A Journey Through Jennifer's Mind in Images" blog here??

254. Which cartoon would you most like to see turned into a movie?
The "Buckles" comic strip

255. Of the following, which word best describes you: enthusiastic, fair minded, generous, helpful
Probably helpful

256. Can you eat with chopsticks?
I can't even use the "kid' chopsticks

257. Could you tell real money from counterfeit?
God, I'd hope so

258. What do you think about school uniforms?
I'm glad I never had to wear them

259. What ancient civilization would you most like to visit?
I'm not too into the idea of visiting anywhere without indoor plumbing

260. What would make a great new Crayola color?
I'm all about the black crayons ... just call me "emo"

261. If an art project is created with the intent of getting rich and famous, does that cast doubt over its significance as a work of art?
Yes

262. If you became president, whom would you invite to sing at your inauguration?
Pink

263. Who is the greatest philosopher of your country?
There are still philosophers?

264. If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?
In Donald Trump's pockets

265. Is it as easy to make you happy now as it was when you were a child?
I don't know of a time I can honestly even say I was truly happy

266. Who knows more...you, or your parents?
I think my dogs are smarter than us all

267. What instrument would you like to be famous for playing?
The flute ... this one time at band camp .......

268. Children fill its lungs completely with air. Adults breathe in a more shallow way, not filling their lungs completely. Why the change?
Cause the older we get the more stupid we get

269. Would you have sex with a stranger for one million dollars?
Only if I can use a condom

270. Are you completely in control of your body? Are you completely in control of your mind?
No on both accounts

271. Which is more romantic: an expensive, glittering bouquet OR flowers that were hand picked as they grew beside the parkway?
Flowers aren't romantic. They quickly wilt and die

272. Do you know yourself well enough to understand why you feel the way you do?
I wish. I'm lost

273. Which do you do more often: let movies, songs and books put your feelings into words for you or put your feelings into words by yourself?
I listen to music that explains my feels for me

274. Do you believe celebrities when they are endorsing a product?
No

275. What kind of movies do you wish were made more often?
I'm all about the raunchy comedies like "Van Wilder"

276. Does fashion matter to you?
I love high fashion ... just not on myself. I prefer to be comfortable

277. Should politicians be held to the same legal standards as everyone else?
Absolutely, yes

278. What do you get in trouble for the most?
Being bitchy

279. Should parents spank their kids?
NEVER EVER EVER

280. What is your worst daily habit?
I am lazy as hell

281. If you had your choice which one TV show would you have canceled?
"Glee"

282. Do you like the taste of sweet or salt?
I have a sweet tooth

283. Are you very precise about what words you use to describe your feelings and thoughts?
Apparently not because people never understand how I feel

284. What do you feel the most guilty about?
My past sexual experiences

285. Do you meditate?
My doctors and therapists always suggest it, but I can't clear my mind long enough to do it. I can't even clear my mind long enough to fall asleep. I have to take sleeping pills just to sleep

286. Can dreams be visions, or do you feel they are always random images?
I think they can be both

287. Do you try to write/say what you are feeling in a true and simple way?
Yes

288. The thief _______ that everyone steals. What verb would you fill in the blank with?
Thinks

289. What's the most incredible experience you ever had?
My very first orgasm... LOL

290. Are you ever afraid to write/say/think how you feel?
No, but I'm not always good at doing it

291. Do you write/say/think it anyway or become intimidated and try to avoid it?
I alternate between them

292. What is one thing you can't do?
Skate

293. Do you like movies starring Charleton Heston?
I don't like him

294. Are you gentle?
I'm pretty rough/harsh

295. When do you feel the most raw and vulnerable?
I always feel raw and vulnerable. I feel like I have no "emotional skin"

296. Are you trying to find yourself?
I'm always trying to find myself

297. Where are you looking?
At the TV. I'm watching an old episode of the George Lopez sitcom

298. Are you sometimes afraid of being honest because you are afraid of hurting people's feelings?
Yes

299. What would make you a stronger person?
Every day I'm alive makes me stronger

300. What book would you like to read sometime soon?
I've started reading the "Pretty Little Liars" books. I'm looking forward to reading all of them

I have to get tested for cancer.... AGAIN

Ironically this was going to be a post to celebrate the fact that it's my 1,800th post in this blog, but instead it's to tell them the result of my gynecology appointment from Monday. I had to get a checkup due to my recent problems. The doctor is having me get a pelvic ultrasound done in a couple weeks so she can see if anything specific shows up, and then she's going to check for cancer regardless of if anything shows up or not. Then I will probably have to get some sort of surgery... either to remove my uterus' lining, a partial hysterectomy or a full hysterectomy.

Basically I now have several weeks ahead of worrying about it all. I've had so many doctors in the past who were afraid I had cancer, so I've been through this a bunch of times. I've been tested for several types of cancer in the past. It always creates extra stress.

Why does anyone even care about this stupid wedding???

The Royal Wedding Pain Meme

1. If you received an invitation to the Royal Wedding, who would you take with you and why?
I'd take my friend who is super sarcastic because we could entertain each other with snarky comments

2. If the Prince and his fiancee had a blog, what would the title be?
"Royally boring"

3. Are you going to watch The Royal Wedding between Prince William and Catherine "Kate" Middleton this week?
Nope, I will find something (ANYTHING) else to watch

4. Imagine you only have $5.00 and you must buy a wedding gift for them. What would you buy?
I'd forget them and buy myself a $5 lottery ticket

5. What day-to-day marital advice would you give the couple?
Sleep with separate blankets so it doesn't matter if one of you hog the blanket

6. You have been employed as the caterer for the reception at Buckingham Palace. What are you serving?
Sloppy joes .... can you imagine the queen eating a sloppy joe?

7. This is the Royal Wedding Route from Buckingham Palace to Westminster Abbey. What location is missing? You must add a location along the way that you feel is a must stop for the couple before they get married.

McDonalds... just to be funny

Common Painkillers May Blunt Antidepressants

By HealthDay News

Common over-the-counter painkillers such as ibuprofen, aspirin and naproxen may reduce the effectiveness of antidepressants called selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, or SSRIs, according to a mouse and human study from The Rockefeller University in New York City.

SSRIs -- which are the most common antidepressants and are used by millions of people -- include such popular drugs as Lexapro, Prozac, Paxil and Zoloft. The potential interaction between these drugs and the painkillers known as nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs) may be a reason that some people don't respond to SSRIs, the researchers report.

"In one study, we found that anyone who reported use of an anti-inflammatory or analgesic agent had a much poorer treatment outcome compared to people who didn't report any use of NSAIDs," said study lead author Jennifer Warner-Schmidt.

One of the open questions is what dose is needed over what time period to produce this effect, said Warner-Schmidt, a research associate in the university's laboratory of molecular and cellular neuroscience. "Until a double-blind real clinical trial is done, we can't say what the dose is [or] what the time course is," she said.

"We may only be looking at people who are taking NSAIDs over a long period of time, but it's not clear," she explained.

In addition, why NSAIDs blunt the effect of SSRIs isn't known, Warner-Schmidt said, adding that "we have some speculative hypotheses we will be exploring in further studies."

Even with these caveats, Warner-Schmidt characterizes the effect of the interaction between these drugs as strong.

"If people out there are having trouble with SSRI efficacy and they happen to be taking anti-inflammatory drugs, they may want to speak with their clinician to evaluate whether they need to continue on the anti-inflammatory drugs, and if so, they may consider changing their antidepressant to a different class of antidepressant," Warner-Schmidt said.

The report was published in the April 25 online edition of the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

For their study, the researchers gave mice SSRIs with and without NSAIDs. By looking at how the mice behaved in tasks sensitive to antidepressants, the researchers found those behaviors inhibited in the mice given NSAIDs.

Warner-Schmidt's team confirmed these findings using data from a previous human study. In that trial, people taking NSAIDs were less likely to have their depressive symptoms relieved by SSRIs than those not taking NSAIDs.

In fact, 54 percent those not taking these anti-inflammatory painkillers said SSRIs relieved their depressive symptoms, compared with 40 percent of those taking both NSAIDs and SSRIs, Warner-Schmidt said.

In addition to their implications for treating depression, these findings may also be important to Alzheimer's patients, according to lead researcher Nobel Laureate Paul Greengard, the Vincent Astor Professor of the Laboratory of Molecular and Cellular Neuroscience at The Rockefeller University.

"Many elderly individuals suffering from Alzheimer's disease also have arthritic or related diseases and as a consequence are taking both antidepressant and anti-inflammatory medications. Our results suggest that physicians should carefully balance the advantages and disadvantages of continuing anti-inflammatory therapy in patients being treated with antidepressant medications," he said in university news release.

"This is an important observation that needs to be followed up," said Dr. Charles Nemeroff, the Leonard M. Miller Professor and chairman of the psychiatry and behavioral sciences department at the University of Miami Miller School of Medicine.

"If it is possible that drugs that treat pain in any way antagonize the effects of antidepressants, it's really important to know because of the widespread use of both agents," Nemeroff added, noting that depressed patients with chronic pain are difficult to treat.

"The belief has always been that they are difficult to treat because chronic pain wears people down and drives them into depression, but this is a different wrinkle. This would suggest it may be that medications being used to treat their chronic pain may, in fact, be obviating the effects of antidepressants," he said.

While it is too early to draw definitive clinical conclusions from this study, Nemeroff thinks doctors should ask their patients if they are taking NSAIDs when prescribing SSRIs.

"If you treat [patients] with an SSRI and they don't respond, maybe we ought to ask them if they are taking high doses of NSAIDs," Nemeroff said. "If they are, we might think about finding another way to treat their pain or inflammation," he said.

Mmm, Mountain Dew, steak & gum...

Happy Monday Mayhem!

Q1. What brand/flavor of chewing gum would you recommend to the rest of us?
Stride Sweet Berry

Q2. What brand/flavor of beverage would you recommend to the rest of us?
Mountain Dew

Q3. Describe the perfect steak (vegetarian's can describe the perfect tofu or whatever).
New York strip steak grilled over an open flame (inside a steakhouse) cooked to medium after being marinated in some sort of yummy stuff. I prefer Outback Steakhouse's steak

My video of the week. 
This is a short video I actually took myself. It's my brother's dog taking a shower. He is constantly getting in the shower and whining/barking until someone turns on the water. Then he jumps up and down barking at the water. It's the funniest thing ever. Every dog I've ever been around hates getting wet, but he loves his daily (sometimes up to 4 times daily) shower

Predicting bipolar mood swings

By HealthDay 

A new study suggests that it's possible to predict future mood swings in bipolar people by monitoring their thoughts and behavior.

Bipolar people suffer from extreme mood swings that veer between moments of emotional highs and euphoria to deep depression. In the new study, researchers from the Universities of Manchester and Lancaster in the United Kingdom followed 50 bipolar patients for a month, studying how they think and act.

"Individuals who believed extreme things about their moods -- for example, that their moods were completely out of their own control or that they had to keep active all the time to prevent becoming a failure -- developed more mood problems in a month's time," study lead author Warren Mansell, of the University of Manchester's School of Psychological Sciences, said in a university news release.

"In contrast, people with bipolar disorder who could let their moods pass as a normal reaction to stress or knew they could manage their mood fared well a month later," he added.

"These findings are encouraging for talking therapies -- such as CBT [cognitive behavioral therapy] -- that aim to help patients to talk about their moods and change their thinking about them," Mansell said.

The study findings are published in the current issue of the American Psychological Association journal Psychological Assessment.

The researchers plan to test a form of cognitive behavioral therapy for bipolar patients called TEAMS -- Think Effectively About Mood Swings -- in a future study.

I asked my mom if I could've been molested

I can't really discuss it in total depth right now, but I finally got brave enough to ask my mom if she thinks there is any possible way my father or someone else molested me when I was young. I'm trying to piece together why I'm so prone to dissociating and blocking things out of my head. Basically the first nine years of my life are blank. I have blocked out almost everything. I only have a few memories from those years.

My mom couldn't provide a lot of information, but she did confirm something for me. In the house we lived in until just before my 9th birthday, my bedroom was on the opposite side of the house than the other bedrooms, so anything that would've happened in the middle of the night in my bedroom would not have been loud enough for my mom or brothers to hear clear over in their bedrooms. So she said she couldn't say with 100 percent certainty that my father didn't molest me in that house. She did mention that she knew he hit me and "spanked" me (his idea of spanking was not really spanking) later in my youth, but he was also beating the hell out of her and she was too scared to go to the police for it.

She said several times, "If I ever found out that something like that happened, it would've never happened again," meaning she either would have literally murdered my father immediately or turned him into the law if she found out he molested me. I knew she didn't know something like that ever happened, but I needed to find out if she thought there was a possibility, and it sounds quite possible from what she said.

For the very first time I told her that I somehow knew about sex when I was only five years old. I said I didn't know how I knew, but I did. And I also told her for the first time that I do remember having recurring nightmares about getting raped when I was really young. That's not normal in any case.

Now I have to figure out how to take the knowledge of why I might I have started dissociating and blocking stuff out and turn it into a way to help me stop doing it today.

Activities to help you avoid relapsing

I was roaming around the internet for worksheets to help me therapy-wise and found this list of activities people may enjoy when they're feeling relapse symptoms for any variety of mental issues (from substance abuse, self-harm, depression to borderline to OCD and so forth). The hope is that the activities will keep you from drinking, doing drugs, self-harming, or just thinking negative things.

The list comes from the SMART Recovery website. I thought it may be helpful both to myself and to others. Some of the things are so not things I'd do, but some of them are ok. My favorite thing actually is not on the list ... going to a pet store and playing with puppies.

Activities You Might Enjoy

• CHORES AND USEFUL TASKS (such as Cleaning, Cooking, Dishwashing, Ironing, Sewing).
• EXERCISES (such as Jogging, Nautilus, Walking, Aerobic Dancing, Stretching or Aerobic Exercises, Shadow Boxing, Skipping Rope, Yoga, Weightlifting).
• FOOD ACTIVITIES (such as Baking, Cooking, Barbecuing, Preparing Gourmet Meals, Shopping for Food).
• GAMES (such as Bridge, Checkers, Chess, Go, Jigsaw Puzzles, Monopoly, Poker, Pinochle, Scrabble, Crosswords, Anagrams).
• GRAPHIC ARTS (such as Cartooning, Drawing, Lettering, Mechanical Drawing, Painting, Photography, Silkscreening).
• HANDICRAFT ACTIVITIES (such as Basketmaking, Bookbinding, Crocheting, Embroidering, Knitting, Leatherworking, Dressmaking, Decoupage, Needlepoint).
• HUMOROUS ACTIVITIES (such as Cartooning, Improvisation Games, Charades, Jesting, Joke-making, Playing Practical Pranks and Jokes, Punning).
• MARTIAL ARTS (Akido, Jujitsu, Judo, Karate, Fencing, Wrestling).
• OUTDOORS ACTIVITIES AND SPORTS (such as Birdwatching, Gardening, Crabbing, Fishing, Canoeing, Sailing, Hunting, Walking, Ice-skating, Skiing, Rowing, Hiking).
• PERFORMING ARTS (such as Dancing, Ballet, Mime, Acting, Improvisation, Modern Dance, Tap Dance, Singing).
• PERSONAL GROWTH (Self-help Books, Workshops, Lectures, Skills-learning, Career Development).
• READING (Fiction, Novels, Plays, Poems, Nonfiction).
• SCIENTIFIC ACTIVITIES (such as Anatomy, Biology, Herpetology, Physics, Medicine, Zoology, Anthropology, Psychology, Sociology).
• SOCIALIZING ACTIVITIES (such as Conversing, Group Activities, Attending or Giving Parties, Rap Sessions).
• SPECTATING (watching Movies, Plays, Sports, Pageants, Circuses).
• SPORTS (such as Baseball, Basketball, Golf, Gym, Football, Hockey, Dancing, Tennis, Skating, Running, Volleyball).
•STUDYING ACADEMIC SUBJECTS (such as Art History, History, Language, Math, Music, Science, Social Science).
•TRADES AND CRAFTS (such as Bricklayer, Builder, Carpenter, Foreman, Factory Worker, Gardener, Mechanic, Machinist, Police Officer).
• VENTING FEELINGS (such as Punching Pillows, Yelling, Talking, Writing, Expressing Good Feelings).

Four Freakin' things

Sunday Stealing: The "It's All About Four Freakin' Things" Meme

Four Places I go:
1. Work
2. Walmart
3. 7-Eleven
4. Homeland (grocery store)
Geez I have no life

Four Crushes I Have:
1. Ryan Reynolds
2. Chad Michael Murray
3. Ian Somerhalder
4. Shane West

Four Smells that I Love:
1. Freshly baked cinnamon rolls
2. Vanilla
3. Steakhouses (the massive amount of steaks cooking over a flame smell)
4. My mom's French toast (which combines the smells of cinnamon and vanilla)

Four Favorite TV Shows:
1.  "The Vampire Diaries"
2.  "Pretty Little Liars"
3.  "Nikita"
4.  "The Event"
These are my current favorites, not all-time favorites

Four Favorite Movies:
1. "Prozac Nation"
2. "Girl Interrupted"
3. "Teenage Dirtbag"
4. "The Virgin Suicides"

Four Recommendations:
1. I recommend that no one ever gets married
2. I recommend that no one has sex on a first date
3. I recommend that everyone listens to K-Love radio
4. I recommend that no one become a print journalist

Four Things about me that you don't know:
1.  I'm going from one thrift store to another and to garage sales trying to find random wall decor-type crosses. I'm going to do a whole wall of crosses in my dining room. I have no idea why, but I'm doing it
2.  If I'm listening to a "band," I'd prefer it to be a group of men's voices, but if I'm listening to a solo artist, I much prefer women. I don't get it
3.  My dogs hate my singing voice
4.  I often disturb my coworkers by making totally inappropriate off-color raunchy jokes
It's getting REALLY hard to come up with things that I haven't revealed already on this blog

Four bands that I love:
1. Hinder (gotta support my Okie kinfolk)
2. Seether
3. Slipknot
4. Papa Roach

Post Secret faves for the week