Post secret favorites of the week

The Fifteen Movie Questions Meme

Sunday Stealing: The Fifteen Movie Questions Meme


1. Movie you love with a passion.
Prozac Nation

2. Movie you vow to never watch.
All of the Harry Potter Movies


3. Movie that literally left you speechless.
Most recently, it was "Friends with Benefits." I totally didn't expect Justin Timberlake to show his naked ass so much... Not that I am complaining

4. Movie you always recommend.
To Save A Life

5. Actor/actress you always watch, no matter how crappy the movie.
I'd normally say Ryan Reynolds on a question like this, but I will not see "Green Lantern" no matter how hot Ryan is... So I'm going with Christina Ricci

6. Actor/actress you don’t get the appeal for.
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Neither of them appeal to me at all

7. Actor/actress, living or dead, you’d love to meet.
Ryan Reynolds

8. Sexiest actor/actress you’ve seen.
Ryan Reynolds

9. Dream cast.
Ryan Reynolds, Justin Timberlake, Ryan Phillippe, Christina Ricci, Mila Kunis, Shane West, and Lindsay Lohan in some sort of crazy ensemble type comedy

10. Favorite actor pairing.
I'd like to see Ryan Reynolds and Mila Kunis together in some movie (or maybe just together in my bedroom....)

11. Favorite movie setting.
New York always seems to be a good movie setting

12. Favorite decade for movies.
I prefer present-day 

13. Chick flick or action movie?
Chick flick

14. Hero, villain or anti-hero?
I suppose I'd have to say the anti-hero

15. Black and white or color?
Color, definitely color


If you haven't checked out the new meme I've created that posts questions on Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays, please come over and check it out: click here 

Depression/psych ward poems

I stumbled across a book of poetry by Victoria McCullough called "Inner Voice: The Essence of True Therapy." There are many poems that I loved, but these poems really spoke to me the most:

"Depression"

I hope for no tomorrow
As I lay devastated, broken-hearted,
Full of sorrow.

I am fatigued, and I feel very low.
I find it difficult to breathe, and I'm
Torn from my soul.

Nothing matters anymore.
Who cares if I do not feed my
Spiritual hunger?
I take no pleasure in eating, laughing, socializing,
Or even in my work.

Like a broken record, the only thing
That plays in my mind is to
Contemplate suicide.

I have drowned in misery and pain.
In this story, there is no glory or fame.


"In the Psych Ward"

I was admitted into the mental institution
Where dwell many minds in confusion.
We were from all sorts, all living within the dark.
We walked around heavily medicated, unkempt,
And half dressed in hospital gowns only to be fixated.
We each had a story from some kind of past;
There was no need for us to hide behind a mask.
We all wanted to forget about the pestilence
That robbed our minds and trapped our innocence.
We were classified and labeled as insane, nuts, and crazy.
But maybe this was not a bad thing, I mean, I was
Inspired by what took place in such a chaotic space.
Some did not forget what we all have the ability to learn.
Everywhere I turned, someone was expressing love.
Through the culture of our insanity, we developed
The ability to put the interests of others above ourselves.
Like when we spoke, we were considerate and lovingly
Used a respectful tone.
We did not justify but took responsibility and aimed
To modify. When we offend, we apologize and make
Peace, and the negativity that was brewing came to cease.
I am amazed to experience true enjoyment.
Now this made an impression on me;
If this is insane, then insanity is where I want to be.
This is my belief that agape love is remarkable
Way to find inner happiness and true peace.

Football player Brandon Marshall diagnosed with borderline personality disorder

Dolphins receiver says proper diagnosis and treatment for a psychological disorder saved his life



 By Omar Kelly, Sun Sentinel

Brandon Marshall has been holed up in the theater room of his new Southwest Ranches home for the better part of five days.

The home is grand and gorgeous, but the theater room is the world's loneliest. Even its sole occupant is unable to see himself.

He has been calm and introspective for hours talking about his disturbing childhood, dysfunctional family and the incident earlier that April week that led to the arrest of his wife Michi Nogami-Marshall for allegedly stabbing him during a domestic dispute.

Then, as if a switch had been flipped, Marshall's fuse is lit. The Miami Dolphins' star receiver becomes agitated — then deflated — after watching his lesser-known contemporary Calvin Johnson in a national television commercial.

It's the kind of gig Marshall always has desired, but will never receive because of a troublesome past, riddled with emotional outbursts and public disputes dating back to his days at UCF.

These days it's difficult to convince himself — much less the world — he's not volatile. It's hard to persuade people you're not a ticking time bomb when you've blown up so many times before.

Marshall has received counseling five different times, sometimes by NFL order. But all they really led to was more frustration.

"Count to 10! What's that going to do?" Marshall says. "I'm still angry when I'm finished."

Tick … tick … tick

Four years of therapy never helped Marshall gain a better understanding of his issues or how to deal with them. Until now.

After three months of treatment and therapy, psychological and neurological exams at Boston's McLean Hospital, the training ground for Harvard University medical students, Marshall believes he's finally at the root of his struggles.

He has been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, or BPD.

"BPD is a well understood psychological disorder. It's not a form of misbehavior," said Mary Zanarini, a professor of psychology at Harvard Medical School, who treated Marshall this summer.

BPD is a mental illness that studies say is more common than schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, but is rarely diagnosed because of misperceptions in the mental health community, and the challenges of providing a proper treatment plan.

The disorder is marked by difficulties with relationships and self-image and controlling moods and emotions.

During Marshall's treatment at McLean, he learned how to defuse the bomb inside of his head. Now with the tools and a new perspective he's returning to the real world, to the NFL, to a marriage he admittedly broke, and to a wife who feels vilified. He must use the skills he's learned to survive, if not thrive.

He has informed the Dolphins of his diagnosis and said he is revealing his story with the goal of creating more awareness of BPD and advocating for better treatment and medical coverage for a treatment program that cost him $60,000.

"By no means am I all healed or fixed," Marshall said, "but it's like a light bulbs been turned on in my dark room."

Tick … tick …

In 2010 Marshall landed a $50 million contract in his home state, and married a beautiful and educated woman whom he says completes him. Life was supposed to be great. But all the luxuries and privileges meant nothing because Marshall sparingly enjoyed himself off the football field.

He said he was depressed. After being scorned by so many loved ones, he was scared to trust. He never opened up to Michi and often lashed out at her.

Sometimes the emotion Marshall struggled to contain surfaced on the field. Following an outburst during a team meeting it was Ricky Williams who recommended Marshall seek help at McLean, where Williams received treatment for his well-known personal struggles.

Marshall initially held sessions over the phone, then visited Boston every few weeks in January and February to sit down with clinicians. After his altercation with Michi — he admits he trapped her in a closet to keep her from leaving — he knew he needed more intense treatment.

"It wasn't till I got here that I understood why I was so unhappy, why I was so miserable," Marshall said. "But understanding is merely the beginning of the journey."

Marshall underwent three types of treatment. He met on a daily basis with clinicians and fellow BPD patients for at least four hours a day learning how to properly process his emotions. He's discovering things like mindfulness, radical acceptance, distress tolerance, which comes naturally to most, but doesn't to someone suffering from BPD.

"Anytime there's conflict it's a challenge," Marshall said. "What I'm feeling or trying to get across is right, but I'm reacting wrong. My actions or what I'm saying is not effective or productive and it makes the situation worse."

Tick …

The therapy Marshall has received at McLean has helped him learn how to process his emotions, and it's helped him to get at the root of his disorder.

Even though the charges against Michi have been dropped, his marriage needs plenty of work before it's repaired. But Marshall's first priority is to develop a BPD treatment plan for himself in South Florida and continuing to make positive progress.

"Before this ordeal I kept asking God to show me my purpose. He gave me this," Marshall said. "I'll be the face of BPD. I'll make myself vulnerable if it saves someone's life because I know what I went through this summer helped save mine."

His goal is to advocate for advancements in BPD research and treatment, and he plans to fight for effective BPD screening in the mental health community because he'd love to see fewer people crippled by what he's learned is a treatable disorder.

"Brandon's doing an extraordinary job of coming forth," said Jody O'Malley, his case manager at McLean. "He's using what he's learned to touch other people's lives who are dramatically impacted by loved ones who have borderline personality disorder."

No I don't plan to overdose

I am always writing little notes to myself on my hand to remind me to do things. I write in code so no one knows what it means, or at least no one used to know what they meant.

People would see something like "WAGS" written on my hand and ask what it stood for. Eventually coworkers all found out that WAGS was short for Walgreens, and that meant that I needed to remember to pick up my medications.

Now people are constantly trying to figure out my codes when I write things on my hand. They try to guess. Sometimes I tell them, sometimes I won't.

Anyways today I wrote an "OD" on my hand. It was supposed to stand for Office Depot because I needed to stop by there and buy something. I didn't realize at the time that anyone who knows my mental health issues might think it stood for overdose and that I might be planning to purposely overdose on something later.

Oopsy.